you don't have to be pretty
or be beautiful physically
or be great at
anything you love....

as long as you're there
for me to see
and lean on
once every often

and by knowing that you
care and hold me close
to your heart
once every often
i know i can
live life
well
enough.

the rapture of a souls song plays out inside the mind
as she sits quietly reading in a late fall moonlight
trading the falling leaves for the keys to the kingdom of pain
she scours the printed page for flaws to crow about in the dawn
but she fails to see the falling tears and the raging snowstorm
she feels but refuses to see
all our childhood dreams lined up as toy soldiers
on a battlefield of right and wrong
of love and despair
with one absent minded finger dancing in her hair
she fumbles for the meanings in the steady rain
she feels out the sentences written in summer skies
the novella there in between the covers are the story she reads
but its the long silence in the room between two people
that shapes her fate
writes her tears
the rapture of souls song plays out
with a beautiful melody
and such heartfelt lyrics
but no beautiful song lasts forever
anywhere but in the heart
and her song still plays for me

I feel myself slipping back into what I once relied on, observing the pigment of crimson forming upon my wrist, slowly moving its way to my palm and to the cracks between my fingers. The exhilarating feeling it brings, the sense of comfort for that mere moment where you feel as if the life has come back to you and you are no longer a reflection in the mirror.. In that moment you're not a figment of imagination in someone else's cruel world. Yet it becomes an addiction few understand, it is not to gain the attention of another but in fact a proclamation of sheer freedom from fighting your inner demons for just another day.

Mayroong yakap na mahigpit;
mayroong yakap na magaan.
May mabigat, may parang nasa ere't
may parang walang laman.

May luhang dugo't pawis,
may luhang sampal sa nakaraan
at luhang mitsa ng pagbangon.

May ngiting tinuwid,
may ngiting dyamante sa langit
pero tinampo't itinapon ng pagkakataon.
Oo, kayhirap amuhin;
parang berdeng buhangin.

May mga katauhang iniibig,
kahit di ka perpekto't kulang din sa pag-ibig.
Piniling umibig, hindi pinihit --
Hindi pinilit na umibig.

Bagkus, Siyang katapatan ng Langit,
Siyang patas, Siya nga namang tapat.
Kaya naman katapata'y naging patas;
ni walang ganti, ni walang pag-imbot.

Dalisay ang pag-ibig,
luha'y salok sa gabi't
Siyang Perlas na pabaon sa umaga.

I know it's hard to touch the clouds
when memories
hold you down
I know you cry a lot inside
when no one is
around
I know it is hard to wake up
sometimes
when breathing cuts so deep.

and the birds, they sing
but
you cannot hear
and the sun, it shines
but
you cannot see
and there's a lot of warmth around
but
you cannot feel.

I know it feels so hard
to live
with so many scars

but

light will shine and you will
see
and birds will sing and
you will hear

It's just a dark path
you have to walk
and I will be there
to walk along
don't hold your breath
don't give up yet
just
keep your hope
and you'll find one day
that you can fly again
for you deserve
the highest clouds
the purest air
the deepest love.

and I'll be here for you,
you, dear soul,
the sweetest lyric
of them all.

I think that in the end we would rather keep our pain than jump at a chance for joy....

We would rather hate than forgive and forget because forgiving makes it "ok".

We would rather keep our own crosses than trade for anything else...

I would rather go home to a husband who bashes my face in and his gifts to me are a couple of broken bones and bruises than take a chance with this cold world....

Once you find someone who loves u.. love u in their own kind of way... everything seems OK, perfect even... because nothing hurts more than rejection and uncertainty... It has to hurt to be "Love" ,,, right CUPID?

I want to scream
I want to cry
I want to freak out.
I want to live
I want to laugh
I want to love.
I am so insatiable,
I will probably combust.

Don't expect
More than you give
If they will do the same
Nobody will receive