You never made me happy.
Though you heard me say it, you never made me happy; not once... not ever.
Instead what you heard was falsities...
A lie, a mask, a good ******* play at ‘happy families’.
You never made me happy.
I lived in a bubble of illness and not the kind I could see a doctor for.  
I painted masks across my face for you, sung a sweet lullaby of ‘I’m peaceful in this second’.
But in that second you were suffocating me, boxing me, moulding me, caging, controlling,
Ensuring I wouldn’t leave.
An exuberant ‘I’m happy’ should’ve translated more appropriately to ‘I want to die and be reborn’.
You made me sick and I wanted to die.

Men write ****** odes
Which is only a painful reminder
That men have no clue
How to turn women on

i'm craving
feigning, misbehaving
driven by lust
recalling their touch, temptation
their words, actions
manipulation
the way i am careless
i am even more dangerous
as my lovers' lips part
writhing, i am prepared for the breaking of my heart
as they ******, my insecurities fade
i see them around, they look the other way
one after another, i'm always left ashamed
lover after lover, romanticizing my pain

You are a child playing dress-up
Wearing clothes too big for you
You think acting like a grown-up
Will make you grown-up too

You talk the talk, walk the walk
Fooling all people you know
They may believe you, I know better
I can see its a show

Living 100 feet from your mother
Doesn't make you mature
You said I let my parents control my life
But your whole world revolves around her

You might have a fancy car
But your daddy gifted the key
Sorry I do not have a vehicle
I don't get expensive presents handed to me

Time turned you into a self-righteous asshold
Your behavior making me sick
I have to be honest, since you moved back home
You have been a pretentious ****

Loving
Excited
Joyful
Happy
Good
Smiling
Life
Frowning
Fine
Lying
Ennui
Melancholy
Forlorn
Death
Smiling
­Good
Happy
Joyful
Excited
Loved I hope.

I’m burning as I’m freezing.
My whole split.
Healing as I’m burning fierce.
Drowning as I’m being baptized
I’ll fly off into the known
Even as I become mired in the unfamiliar.
But may the Gods help you withstand my wrath.

It’s so dumb and not really the point.
I wish, I wish, I wish,
I could force you to choke on it.
With every verbal message you spew,
The more the realization that the sparkle and shine,
Was just a shackle of the basest iron.
One that you released me from yourself.
I wish, I wish, I wish,
I could force you to choke on it.
It’s so dumb and not really the point.