they say when it rains
God is crying
i find it beautiful
water trickling down
my window pane
accentuating the
angels’ disdain
a world with no
remorse
heartless to God’s
pain
i understand
even God needs
to release
for how can you
be happy
if your emotions
aren’t freed?

my chest no longer feels heavy
the weight of the world has left me
i have surrounded myself with love
the fearfulness has fled my body
everything the angels have taught me
i now understand and put them to use
overcoming traumatic abuse
with the help of those who care
the rain kisses my chocolate hair
i am a being of nature
at one with the earth
love is not to be searched for
it is constantly growing within you
love is an ocean coming in waves
that is why it doesn’t always stay
anything i put my mind into
i will accomplish and stay true
to myself, and even though
bad times will come again
i am a hydrangea
able to persevere.

my father raised me then left
leaving me to live off family and friends
i had never asked for too much
until i realized i didn’t have enough
poverty opened my eyes
my mother putting away the shoes i couldn’t buy
learning to speak i could not shut my mouth
yet learning to listen everyone’s words seemed loud
hidden meanings so abstract
no means no, my aunt taught me
she also taught me don’t throw a fit
so when a boy touched me without permission
i didn’t know what to do but stay quiet
i didn’t say no and i didn’t say yes
maybe i shouldn’t have worn that dress
how was i supposed to know he would harm me
my family trusted him, they know best
and the one i trusted said it was my fault
so i continued to lie to everyone
including myself, all along
what will they say
what will they think
my mother and father
my brothers and sisters
i don’t know how to explain all the melancholy i come with
from that one regretful day leaving me ashamed and alone on the pavement.

i don't need anyone by my side
as long as God is here
there is no one to betray me or make me cry
i am one with nature
i am my peace on earth
although it took time,
i created a paradise in my mind
obstacles no longer phase me
hardships no longer occur daily
when i know the archangels love me
i speak these truths into the universe
the sky's now heavenly shades
repeat my spoken verse
love is God
God is within me
i am no longer lost
i am saved
freed from the shackles of expectation
my spirit nurtured by the cherubim.

there are many others in the world
where is the one i get to share my life with?
to tell me "you are beautiful",
beautiful like the light reflecting through my mirror
elluding rainbows on my cieling,
beautiful like the warmth from the sun
tickling my arms on a vibrant day.
i want them to tell me they are complete
without me,
but life without me is desolate and affects their
being.
succumb to my desires, lover
caress my caged heart,
undress my soul and i will
reveal to you my most hidden parts.
tell me there is nowhere you'd rather be than
right here beside me.
tell me i make your heart race
at the thought of being in my embrace
call me your angel
for i will guard your heart
and cherish your existence
tell me the truth,
yet never hurt me
many others have made me weep
don't be the next to flee
there are many others in the world,
but i crave only one.
if my desire remains unfulfilled,
no worries there are better things to come.
because what can someone do
that i cannot do for myself?
i can choose to be as fragile as a lamb,
or as strong as a lion,
but one thing i won't choose is to
disregard who i am.

she spreads her legs with a look of lust in her eyes,

i pull her close and whisper obscenities while caressing her thighs.

she grips my forearm so tight

i wonder if she notices she is so beautiful under this moonlight.

so quick to kiss and bruise

these blurred images replay throughout my mind in passion-red hues.

she caresses my heart causing me to shudder with arousal

although everything seems so obvious and rushed,

she is still able to remain calm and casual.

the way her hair feels in the grip of my clenching fist,

my mind will cease to never resist.

she follows my lead with grace and submission,

her hands so delicate, played me like a musician.

i hold her body like I never want to let go,

for being without would cause great woe.