I knew from the ******* start
it would go no further than what it was.
There would be no dates,
no hand-holding,
no declarations of love while sitting under a beautiful sunset at 7:02pm on a Sunday.
Those things are her's,
have been her's for seven years
and probably will be for seven more.
But **** did you make it seem as though
I was worthy of those things,
that I could hold your hand,
and take you on dates,
and tell you that I love you under a beautiful sunset at 7:02pm on a Sunday.
And **** did it hurt, **** does it hurt that
you gave me something so new, something so strong that I forgot what I knew from the ******* start:
you can never love me. you don't want to love me. you WILL never love me.
I was just for fun,
but she's for forever.
I knew I couldn't do casual, and I ended up exactly where I knew I would if I tried.