I write about you because I need you to exist in my world somewhere, to remind myself that you were real. That we were real.
I never understood the saying "If you love someone, let them go."
It always baffled me.
Why would you want to let someone go if you love them?
That isn't what love is about.
Little did I know, I had no clue what love was about.
But I understand now.
I've loved plenty of people in my life and have let them go.
I still love them but I let go.
It's about wanting to see them happy, even if you're not the one to make them happy anymore.
It's about wanting the best for them in their life even if that doesn't include you.
It's understanding that you will never be apart of their life and accepting it.
It's accepting change.
I'm the type of girl who fights nail and tooth to hold onto people, places, things. Even if it's served it's purpose and isn't beneficial to me anymore.
That's been my hardest journey in life..is letting go.
But I think I finally understand and have come to terms with it.
I still love the people I love, and I always will.
But I finally accept it is best to set them free.
Because I love them.
And years later you're dancing in your kitchen.
The windows open, the smell of rain in the air.
And everyone who looks in gets to witness a girl falling in love with life.
Sometimes when I'm drifting off to sleep, the place between sleep and awake, I see you.
I see your blue eyes looking into mine.
I see the familiar sadness looming.
Your crooked, sheepish grin that always made my heart flutter.
I swear you made me feel higher than the moon.
You made reality feel better than dreams.
I study your face and trace all your features.
I feel your arms wrap around me and you now make dreams feel better than reality.
I wish I wrote the way I thought
With a hunger that can't be fed
I'd write until my fingers gave out
Until it was a black abyss
An immeasurable, deep, void with no words left
I catch myself driving by where you used to live
Pathetic, I know-but sometimes I still like to park on the street
And take a break just to feel close to you
I was once in love with my life here
In that one bedroom apartment
Streetlights illuminating the night as our view
On the balcony with your arms wrapped around me
**** this apartment complex
And **** you
You, who I constantly wait for
You, you, you
A broken record on repeat
Your touch is poetry I want to write
A thousand sparks exploding
A warmth I feel all the way to my toes
My head spinning
My body dancing to the melody of yours