i was always afraid of this
i was always afraid that one day you will forget me
you will forget our memories that we have spent
and the thoughts we have shared
and one-day
one-day i will see you with a nother man
more handsome than me
secretly i will compare myself
i will avoid eye contact
i will try to avoid everything
and i will try to forget you
your memories
the moment we spent
and the thoughts we shared
but to be honest
i was afraid of this
I was afraid of this

I am sad.
Not in a depressed way. Not ill.
Just sad.

I've been sad a while. I've been sad for different things.
Mostly, I've been sad because I'm feeling empty.

That somedays, I just don't understand what am I doing here.
That somedays I just look into the mirror and I don't find the strength to cope with another day.
I am not suicidal, even though I think about it a lot.
Who would miss me? Who would even notice.
Am I really important?
Am I?

Is it worth it? Well yeah. I know it is.
Can I make it? Of course I can!

But I just can't find motivation?

I've been feeling sad because I'm feeling empty. Because I'm seeing all the things I once loved drift away. Because I'm almost 18 and I haven't done anything i have proposed myself.

I'm feeling empty because years keep on going by, and things keep on changing, and people keep on growing,

and I don't.

And you know I just can't cope with it anymore.
Because it's frustrating and it makes me anxious and I just can't find the will to change.

And I'm just feeling sad, because even the happiest moments seem to get blurred out by the fact that I am not going anywhere.

And I'm empty, and sad, and lonely.

how can i keep you here with me

if
i only have fears.

fear of starting our conversation;
fear of looking at your eyes more than a second;
fear of walking beside you.

fear of being rejected;
fear of being hurt;

fear of losing you.