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 Apr 2018
Yule
I still dream of a fellow
that would save me in my sleep
He would trace the creases on my lips
his hair would tickle the tip of my nose
and his face would be the last thing I see
along his steady breathing and heartbeat
me close onto his chest
there would be a faint smile across my face
before I fall soundly asleep

Even as I enter dreamland
it would still be his name
that's the sound of my heartbeat

He would take me to far off places
and make me feel things
I haven't dwell before

Someday, I still wish that
it would be your hands
that will intertwine mine
and that dream will slowly dissolve
into a face unfamiliar
but like home all the same
you will slowly turn into reality
closer than we've ever been before
closer that you are within my grasp

— can a girl dream, love?
why does my words find its way coming back to you? Like always.

I find it demented, and [oddly] comfortable whenever this happen. My words seem to have an attachment to you, I guess.

I don't know anymore, ji. | 180331; 1:16 am

{nj.b}
 Apr 2018
Yule
I want to let him go.
it's not that I want to let him go
I know fully well
that my heart can't take it
but it's more of that 'I should'
either way, it hurts
I do not know anymore.

{nj.b}
 Apr 2018
Yule
describe how my eyes pierce through you,
beyond the windows of your beautiful soul
tell them how my glance
stayed with you for weeks

can maybe for a moment,
your breath hitched
and that static surged
from a brush of fabric?

see the skeleton in my body
and how they shivered
at the sight of you
see the depths of my soul
and how they're raging in fire
see how the trillion cells of my body
react in front of the likes of you
tell them how it left a mark
on your mind for days

I wish the warmth of my presence
linger bit longer than I hope it did

I want you to say in your chaste lips
'she had such a sad smile,
but she would laugh
till her rib cage tremble
beneath her tan skin'
I want to make you pause for a sec
'her laughs are like cries of a raven,
how it oddly resonates
a maiden hiding in plea'
I want it all pierced by your tongue

describe me like the lyrics you write
when you're needing of company
on lazy afternoons, even late at night
times when you write with your soul
and not with your hand on paper
melodies that could carve deep
into people's hearts
recite it like you're missing a place
from a different era in time

let this serve as a favor
all I wish is for once
the remnants of me
pass through your lips
sing a sad love song
dedicated for me

— a poem I wish you'd write for me
Come look for me. | 180301; 3:41 pm

{nj.b}
 Apr 2018
Yule
no matter how many times
my wounds cut deep
by your sweet serene entity
it's only you
that can heal me— **** me
the only one
that can tame the waves
of my beating, bleeding heart
; 2:53 am

{nj.b}
 Mar 2018
Yule
It’s that look in his eyes. How easily he can trap me into his world. It’s so easy for me to be lured with such wild eyes. So mysterious, so captivating, and oh so warm like the earth.

They said that the eyes are the window to someone’s soul. If that’s the case, I’ve been in love with his eyes long before… it’s as if I’ve been drawn to them in a time far from here.

I’m in love with your soul…

Maybe that’s why I’m so scared for you to look away. Because of how much you can look me in the eye can bring me weak in my knees, just like that, you also have the power to stare at me, and shatter me all in one blink.
Aug. 2017

{nj.b}
 Mar 2018
Yule
I usually don’t like silence in general – the awkward silences as they will call it (when I’m with someone). But with you, it’s a different case. I can actually endure these little instances of silence with you.

Because I know you’re there to fill it up. Like knowing that you’re present – that you’re there –gives me a sense of comfort.

We can take a pause and breathe without hearing a complaint from one another. I know that another person understands me with these wordless exchanges, with these simple gestures, stares, and soft-hearted smiles.

The spaces in between our conversations, and just the stillness of the atmosphere… You’ll somehow manage to add up the warmth, the comfort. Just your presence is enough.
Aug. 2017

{nj.b}
 Mar 2018
Yule
I've always wanted
to write the perfect poem for you
but alas, my hands cannot create
nor my tongue cannot convey
a better way to represent such beauty
Though I ask myself
how can I even begin to surpass
an epitome of imperfect perfection
right in my very eyes
Darling, you're already a poetry
I didn't even need to write at all

— you're my everything
you're all that matters, my dearest | 3:32 am

{nj.b}
 Mar 2018
Yule
even on a place uncharted,
i want to share this moment
and serene view with you

why is it still you
who cross my mind?
; 180321

{nj.b}
 Mar 2018
Yule
it is not the matter
of distance or chance
getting close to you
but where my heart
compass to

— it still leads me back to you
; 180322

{nj.b}
 Mar 2018
Yule
it's still you,
after all the tears and rain
at times I fall apart
it's you I run onto
I just feel so safe in your arms,
openly tucking me in warmth
even after all these beings
passing me through
it's still you who give sparks;
fireworks show lit up
spreading along my chest
it is quite evident in my eyes
it's you whom I set my heart into
every passing day, my dearest
I do not let that flame waver
since the very first day,
it's you till then
I am here to stay
I'm still waiting for the day
where we can both meet again
I can't see myself with another, than you | 9:31 pm

{nj.b}
 Feb 2018
Yule
As of now, I think of you
each passing day
Our meeting,
still etched in my mind
Since the day we parted
I miss you more each day,
I want to meet you (again)
I didn't know it was possible
I fell deeper, greater—
beyond of what I expected
It's engraved deeply in my heart
Your words and ethereal figure
You're what my heart's beating

Must I really wait
No matter how long
Till then I promise to be well
I'll keep my heart only for you
I can wait a 'lil longer, love. | 180206; 09:24 am

{nj.b}
 Dec 2017
Yule
Even if
I look away
my heart seems
to find your way

Even if
Our gaps too far
I know
we could meet somehow

Even if
it's not today
our paths
will cross someday

Even if
my love's not enough
I know I'll love you
more each day

Even more
than yesterday
I hope to continue to spark that hope within me.

{nj.b}
 Nov 2017
Yule
I know I started seeing things differently
Every time I look up the sky thinking
that I want to take every moment
sharing this beautiful view with you

— strolling
he's my golden sky // for l.jh | 171121; 3:24 am

{nj.b}
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