I just love and cherish him so much. Though, why is it so hard to convey to the world? Why and how is it so hard to understand?

And why does it have to be this way.

A simple girl loving a man far from her grasp. I thought love wasn't supposed to hard, nor it needs to be understood. You just feel it, and you just know in the depths of your heart.

**Yet why does this hurt so much?

Loving you
is like looking at every fireflies
lighting up all at once

Beaming its light, captivating me
As if it's all trapped into your eyes

Loving you
is like finding you after walking
through a desert

You were the water from the well
an oasis, that quenched my thirst

Loving you
is something like a distant memory
that I kept remembering

You are something I kept holding on
Something that I don't want to let go

Loving you
that's what you'll never know

You are the one who makes me feel alive
And the very reason why I die everyday

I have to tell you something
something that I haven't been able
to pass in another's ear before
I first tried writing music

Those lyrics of mine
never really left me,
it's haunting me with its monotonous beat
And it stayed with me still
But since I was horrible at it,
I stopped

Not till I met a boy who creates music himself
He makes me want to share a melody with him
but can't

I promised to myself one day,
even if it may be too late

Maybe the day
I'll be able to write a song,
is the day I'll be able to let out
all of these feelings
I have for you

Maybe by then
I can let you go

How deep is your love?
How far can you go for that one person
that you hold very dear to your heart?
Will you cross the seven seas
to get a glimpse of their eyes?

Your eyes remind me so much
of the deep caverns of the seas
Your gaze are so intense
that I am afraid I'll get lost into it
Your passion so deep
something that enamors me to you
How can someone harbor such fire
that even water cannot put out?

Your voice like a siren,
and the anchor in my ship
You keep me right above the water,
something that keeps me afloat,
that keeps me to my sanity
and the very person pulling me deep

Though, I don't want to touch you
For the fear that you might slip away
from my grasp
Like sand flowing away
as the wind disperse it on my palms

But I kept holding onto you still
Like an oyster holding its pearl
You're the treasure I hold the dearest

You are very like the waves
that comes back to the shore
Though I am not your shore

I know very well
that I cannot swim
Yet
I hope you'll come by
to save me just in time
Just how you always did

Sometimes words are not enough
to express how I love you so
and the pain of my aching soul

Sometimes your mind can be too blurry
to even put together the words

Late at night, at times I feel sorry
I can only send you love songs
As exchange of my beating heart

Maybe this is for the better
I don't ever want you to hurt
I don't want you to know
how vulnerable I am

So instead of sending my plea
I'll let these songs reach you
even if at times,
music decides to **** me

I've been losing track of time
As I lessen my time of sleep
It's as if my thoughts doesn't want to rest
As it keeps running its way towards you

I'm honestly feeling myself growing tired,
wanting to give into solitude...
But how can I even choose sleep?
When even in my dreams, you keep me awake?

I want to wake up
at the sound of your beating heart
beside me, with that intense stare of yours

I want to be the one
who will trace the lines
of your calloused hands laid out for me

I want to get lost
into the depths of your soul
as we both exchange our love wordlessly

I want you and me
intertwined into each other
with your hands wrapping safely with mine
As if you don't want to let go

I want you to love me
to look at me the way
I would look at you
to look at me in that way
you would give in
through the music you create

I want to love you
to express all the love I have for you
I only wish for you my dearest

But sometimes this want
is the hindrance to it all

But
I want you
I still want you
**But I must not

As day passes by, it never really occured to me
can my love overflow beyond its capacity?
Your love can fill me up to the brim
It is only you that can bring me off its course

To me, you're a serum I want to take,
even if they said you're no good for me

You're a melody that's ever so addicting,
a rhythm I'm trying to forget, but cannot

My love, you're chained to my heart
etched deeply — I want to break out of it!
But then you're the only one who has the key
I can't let you go, until you set me free

Why is it that when I finally get to see them there,
closely, to the flesh, and we’re actually in the same room…
that’s when I felt the most distance between us?
Why do they feel so far way, still?
Why does it hurt so much that I can’t – in actuality – reach them?
Why do I feel the most sad when it’s supposed to be the time of my life?
Why is it that all I hear is white noise in this bustling crowd,
my voice echoing; pleading for your name, and your singing?
I hear myself asking you to stay...
Why is your ethereal figure just standing there before me–
'don't go'
–while I am right here gasping for air?
aren't I the one who will actually leave as the show's ending?
How can you bring my knees weak? Why am I in tears?
'I love you'
Why did fate decided for us to meet like this?

At least let me leave traces of you
etched in paper and ink
All my love and the pain
At least here it will remain
As someday
I know this will fade away
Along the wind and the rain
As it becomes one with it

bakit ba pinagpipilitan ko pa ring ipaitindi sa iba?
hindi rin naman nila talaga alam
sa paningin nila, napakababaw, napakataas naman ng pangarap ko
isipin mo, ako? isang simpleng babae, minamahal kang isang lalaking maraming nakaaligid? na pawa bang isa kang nilalang na taga-ibang planeta
alam kong minsan ka na rin nakaramdam ng pagiging ordinaryo
pero sadyang ka'y layo mo na ngayon, iba ang takbo ng mundo mo
minsan inaamin kong nakakahiya, na ipagsigawan 'tong pagmamahal ko sayo
pero dahil sa iniisip kong hindi nila naiitindihan
at di kailanman na maiitindihan
itong nilalaman ng puso ko ay ikaw
sinasabi nito na mahal kita
na mahal na mahal kita
kahit di ko magawang ika'y lapitan
dahil paano mo nga ba mamahalin ang isang taong napakalayo sayo?
pero patuloy ko pa ring iniisip na mahal na mahal kita
inuulit ulit kong sabihin ito
kahit na alam kong di mo rin naman din ako maiitindihan
oo, alam **** mahal kita
pero hindi, mas higit pa sa iniisip mo
gusto kita
gusto kita, gusto kong mapalapit sayo
na mapasaakin ka
yung gaanong kagustuhan mo sa isang tao alam kong di kailanman kayang ibalik ang nararamdaman ko
pero bakit ko pa rin ba ito pinagpapatuloy
kung alam ko rin naman na wala tong mahahantungan
napakasakit man isipin na hindi ka pwedeng mapasa akin
gusto kong may makiramdam sa akin
pero hindi nga nila maitindihan
ikaw ang gusto ko
pero napakasakit na mahalin ka
bakit ba kasi ikaw pa?
mahal na mahal kita
gusto kong ipaalam sa'yo
pero paano nga ba?
kung sa una pa lang
hindi mo ako maiitindihan
ang tanging naiitindihan ko lang
kahit napakasakit man tanggapin
napakasakit man para sa'kin
pero eto ang realidad
na alam kong mahal mo rin ako
mahal mo rin naman ako
pero bilang isang tagahanga mo lamang

eng trans:
why am I even forcing others to understand?
they don't even know
in their eyes, it's so dense, I have dreams way too high
think about it, me? a simple girl, loving someone like you who's surrounded and looked upon to? as if you're a being from another planet
I know that you once felt what it's like to be ordinary
but you're just way too far from my grasp now, your world runs differently
I admit that it's embarrassing, to shout out this love of mine for you
but mostly because I think that they don't understand
and won't ever understand
that you are the one kept in my heart
it tells that I love you
that I love you so much
even if I can't even get near you
because how can you even love someone that's so far from your reach
but I kept on thinking that I love you so much
I will keep on repeating this
even if I know you won't even understand
yes, you know that I love you
but no, it's much more than what you think
I want you
I want you, I want to get close to you
for you to be mine
that kind of desire for someone you know won't ever reciprocate your feelings
but why do I even continue this?
if I know this would get on nowhere
it pains me to think that you won't ever be mine
I want someone to empathize with me
but they just don't understand
you're the one I want
but it hurts to love you
why does it have to be you?
I love you so much
I want you to know
but how?
if from the start
you don't understand me
the only thing I understand
even if it hurts to accept it
even if it hurts for me
that I know that you love me too
'you love me too'
*but only as your admirer

noong una kitang nasilayan
inaamin kong hindi ikaw ang nais kong kamtan
ngunit habang tumatagal,
puso ko’t loob, sayo’y natuluyan

hindi ko rin alam kung bakit
dahil ba sa boses **** nakakahumaling?
o sa mga matatamis **** mga ngiti?
mistulang nawawala ang iyong mga mata
sa tuwing ito’y iyong gawin
di ko alam, pero simpleng titig mo lamang
ka’y laki na ng epekto nito sa akin
hanggang sa palagi na kitang hinahanap-hanap
aba’t ginayuma mo nga ba ako?

ngunit, kung ano't saya ang nadarama
ganoon din ang kapalit nito kapag nandyan ka
sa mga panahon na wala ka sa tabi
pasakit at dalilubho ang naranas
bakit ba hindi ko kayang sayo ay mawalay?
ngunit kailangan kong magtimpi at alamin
kung hanggang saan lang dapat ang hangarin

ngunit aking nagunita,
ikaw talaga ang natatangi sa puso, at tuwina
ngunit kung gusto ko ring makaalpas sa sakit
kailangan ika’y kalimutan
sa gayon ay baka matagpuan ang kalinaw

pero ang alaala ng kahapon ay sadyang bumalik
kahit saan man magpunta, ika’y naka-aligid
kung alam mo lang ang aking tinahak
pagod, at hirap – naranas upang sayo’y makalapit

ngunit ano ba pa ang magagawa?
sa una pa lang, nagmahal ng isang tala
at kung bigyan man ng pagkakataon
mas pipiliing sarili ay ibaon
lahat ng nararamdaman
na hindi mo rin kayang ipaglaban

dahil hindi mo rin naman ako mahal,
mas mahal mo ang iyong pangarap
at hindi ako yun, ito'y tanggap

sakim man sa kanilang paningin
ikaw lang naman ang gusto ko
ngunit, bakit? bakit…
ipinagkait pa sa akin ng mundo?
pero ito ang nagpapatunay
na kahit gaano pa ako kailangan na maghintay
para sayo'y hindi ako nararapat
dahil tunay nga ba ang aking intensyon?
o ginagawa lamang kitang desisyon?
tingnan mo nga, miski ako may pagdududa

kahit man ito’y pag-ibig natin ay isusugal
kahit gaano ko pa ipagsamo sa Maykapal
wala rin naman itong mahahantungan
hindi rin naman ako ang iyong kailangan

kaya't ito'y hahayaang dalhin ng langit,
kung saan mang lupalop ito'y dalhin
pinaubaya sa Maykapal,
antayin na lang maglaho
ito ang aking huling habilin,
bago kitang tuluyang iwan

pero ito'y mananatiling nakaukit
sa puso't isipan,
dahil kaya nga ba kitang kalimutan?

ito’y magsisilbing alaala
ng minsan nating pagsasama,
kahit sa panaginip lamang

ang ipagtagpo ang isang ikaw at ako,
ang mabuo ang salitang 'tayo' –
napaka-imposible…
napaka-imposible.

eng trans:
when I first saw you
I admit you're not the one I yearn for
but as time passes by
my heart, and mind – fell for you

I don't really know why
is it because of your alluring voice?
or because of your sweet smiles?
it's as if your eyes disappear
whenever you do this
I don't know but in your simple stares
it has a big impact on me
until I'm always looking for you
oh my, did you put a spell on me?

but in what happiness I felt
that's what I also feel whenever you're there
in times that you're not beside me
pain and dreading was experienced
why can't I stand being apart from you?
but I have to resist and know
to where I should stand in line

yet I've realized
you're the one that's always in my heart
but if I want to get rid of this pain
I have to forget you
by then I might find peace

but the memories of yesterday kept coming back
everywhere I go, you're there
if only you knew what I've been through
exhaustion, and rigor – I have to face to get close to you

but what can I do?
from the start, I've loved a star
and if given a chance
I'd rather choose to bury myself,
all these feelings
that you're not even willing to fight for

because you don't even love me,
you love your dream more
and it's not me, I've accepted it

it may be selfish in their eyes
you're the only one I want
yet, why? why...
did the world denied + you from me?
but this just proves
that no matter how long I have to wait
I'm not the one for you
because is my intention real?
or am I just making you a decision?
see? even I have doubts

even if I gamble this love of ours
even if I plea from the Creator
this will just go nowhere ++
I am not the one you need

that's why I'll just let the sky take this
wherever in the heavens this will be held
let the Creator take charge
I'll just wait for it to fade
this is my last will
before I will leave you

but this will remain etched
in my mind, and heart
because can I truly forget you?

this will serve as a memory,
of our once encounter
even if it's just in a dream

for you and me to meet,
to form the word 'us' –
it's so impossible,
**it's impossible

If ever I fall in love
I want to fall for someone who also writes
I want us to be engrossed in each other's pages
As we try and understand the world's we've created

Most especially, someone who write's music

I want to get stuck into a different realm he'd created
I want to explore a world so familiar yet different all the same
I know how simple and complex music can be

But I don't really have to be,
cause I already am