Sometimes, I blame the stars
I ponder the possibility of their alignment being so twisted on the day I was born
Searching for an explanation

Sometimes, I blame my parents
Perhaps the concept of never being good enough, of which they poisoned my brain with, was not just a concept but in fact the truth all along

Sometimes, I blame my teachers
I consider the reinforcement of said concept being pushed down my throat during my years in education
Never good enough to succeed
Never good enough to be loved

Sometimes, I blame God
No, I’m not religious, but the desperation to know the unknown consumes my entire being until I am pushed towards yet another unknown

Sometimes, I blame society
For worshipping such unattainable standards of beauty that one forgets the true meaning of the word
What does it mean to be beautiful?
What does it mean to be loved?

I never blame myself.
Because I know that is where the answer lies and it terrifies me.

Beauty is in the eye
of the beholder
and behold
the beauty
in your eyes
even when it cries

Let your  heart cry, but shed no tear,
Lift your eyes, don't you fear,
Sorrow isn't evil,
Unless you keep it near,
Breathe in peace, and move on dear.

Once he told me
"loving you is like breathing
how can i stop?"

and now hes holding his breath.

Master
Every time
I’m asked
To obey you
I do
‘Cz obedience makes me
Feel more
& more pleasure
In the games
We play
& the blindfold
Sets in me
Nervous expectations
Of the sweet sparks
Sending through my body
When you birch me...
...Your Girl