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 Jan 2020
Hadrian Veska
Sun and Moon guide the way
Urban stars lead us astray
From the path rode in the day
And the one we walk at night

I know not much but I know true
When I was young and when I grew
Into the man my Father knew
Since before I was born

That no path I make is worth a ****
Can lead to any promised land
Our path is never what we planned
For that I thank the Lord

If I followed the paths I planned to make
A circle around a lonesome lake  
For no one else than my own sake
I would not have met my wife

I would not have grown and not have loved
No peace to me come from above
No guiding spirit, a snow white dove
To rest upon my shoulders

To light the path ahead

Now I have no plans, I simply do
What I know is right to do
I stumble yes, that is true
But I've learned to stumble forward

And stumbling is not so bad
When there's someone to pick you up
 Jan 2020
Jack Jenkins
Oh I am calloused and bruised
I am weathered and used
I don't blend anymore
I just float on the surface

The light that left me
Has me feeling thin
Inside
Oh the love that left me
Has me feeling dead
Inside

And the love that stayed
Cannot carry me on
I am a wayward son
I am the only lonely one

Is there an end or a beginning
I can no longer tell
These thoughts aren't my own
But they're nobody else's

Oh everyone's a stranger
When you don't know yourself
Everyone's a stranger
I don't know myself
//On love and loneliness//
 Jan 2020
Clare Coffey
There’s a present I can’t wrap
With my love so carefully
A present you will never open
That I can’t leave beneath our tree

There is no cheery message
In a card I won’t get to write
A bit of joy that I can’t give
To you on Christmas night

Now that you have left my life
Things will never be the same
I can’t simply pick up the phone
And hear you speak my name

You won’t say Merry Christmas
Or wish me Happy New Year
My heart feels sad and empty
Now you are no longer here

Today I can’t stop crying
You helped when things were rough
This first Christmas without you
I didn’t know it would be so tough

The year outside is dying
The wind howls and hurls rain
Inside I grieve to lose you
I’m not sure I can bear the pain

Yes I have happy memories
I can find some comfort there
Your life was worth the living
Though to part still seems unfair

I want God to give you back
I want you here with me
But you are always in my heart
And your soul can now fly free
Love you always Dad
 Jan 2020
Jack Jenkins
2019 hit me hard like most years
but i finally started to hit back
i let myself embrace the pain
said it was okay
and started to heal
i made my peace with a lot of my past
wrongdoings i can't undo
but can forgive
both myself and others
i decided to stay in love with someone not in my life anymore
and that's okay
because she's always had my heart
most importantly i made a resolution for the first time
for 2020 i will not be suicidal
or entertain such thoughts
i will tell my demons
"how dare you think you can scare me into death"
and i will mock the voices that say there is nothing for me here
i am loved
even by myself
//on myself and life//

If you've ever struggled in life, and feel like things never will change... they may not... but you can.
Love you all, and best wishes for 2020
 Jan 2020
Jack Jenkins
Old habits smoulder in the secret places in my heart
Like a pack of unlit cigarettes stashed under the bed
Cancer waiting to spread and ignite desires
Oh how I love these wrong desires
Just a sip until I drown
Just a flame til I burn down
//On addiction//

I'm okay. But my demons want me to come out and play.
 Dec 2019
Softly Spoken
The topography of your face relaxed
Sleek lines of eyes
Closed
Your body in repose
The sharp curl of your lips
Slightly parted
A shy smile
Just for me
I watch
As you get lost in my caress
We shiver as Skins heat
Subtle landscapes arise
Goosebumps
Tracing the line of my finger
I watch
Your chest shudder
Your breath
Singing whispered songs of desire
I move with you
As you reach for me
Our love moving in time
As you growl
And I sigh
 Dec 2019
Jack Jenkins
three years,
some days I no longer count,
but you were the second woman I loved;
the first to love me back,
& the first to break my heart...
...
Darling, wherever you are I hope you're happy and free
'Cuz I'm still right where you left me...
//on my ex girlfriend//

First of two 3 year anniversaries for me in the coming months. **** 2017.
 Dec 2019
Jack Jenkins
everything that made him him
was leaking out the hole in his chest
the cracked ribs finally failing
god, if only he wasn't a fool
God, please make this real
//On love//
 Dec 2019
Traveler
My love is non-narcotic
I need something stronger
Kinda' like *******
Opiates when I wrong her

My love is but a fire
That burns me at both ends
Her love is high grade fuel
Burning hot with sin

A yawning neon moon
Whispers to a waking earth
The flames of love burn hot
Still entropy is our curse
Traveler Tim
 Dec 2019
Hadrian Veska
A fabled cathedral
Built on the Deep
Unknown to all
Save by sleep
Where wanderers gather
From ages far flung
To rest and to listen
For the Bell to be rung
And when it does toll
Will they worship in vain
Not for lack of faith
But for lack of great pain
To atone for their sins
Do they sleep yet awake
In hopes they they might
Their father's curse break
But the Deep rings its call
So somber and sweet
Like the call of a siren
That no man can defeat
Sweetly it whispers
Perfumes to the mind
In an instant to change
In a moment to bind
Those souls of wanderers
Beneath the stars of sleep
That they might trudge and fall
Into the maw of the Deep

As indeed the first one did
 Dec 2019
Hadrian Veska
Who am I that I might know
What mystery might ebb and flow
Great wonders made to my eyes sealed
Things long lost to be revealed
Who am I what should I be
What weaknesses do others see
Surly none more than I myself
A detriment to my own health
I cannot alone myself make due
The world I've found is cruel too
Yet one through another clasped my hand
To lead me to the promised land
A grueling journey of great mistakes  
Weakness, loathing and sulfur lakes
Past that smoke in billows high
I open my eyes and face the sky
To a brighter vista than any before
A glittering pure and sun soaked shore
Where I might rest for a time and a half
To sing and sit and dance and laugh
Renew myself and stand once more

For the road goes ever on
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