I spend this evening counting bumps in my popcorn ceiling

1,2,3,4,5,6,7

Heart is gnawing at my mind

8,9,10,11,12

Old washed out feelings

13,14,15,16

No words just

17,18,19

Memories

.......

when did i start crying?

The blade on my skin
Slides like butter on bread
What can I say? It helps releive stress
Been telling that lie to myself
For way too long, but that's what happens
When someone's not quite strong

Come to me, my wayward child
take the time to laugh and smile
embrace every twisting turn
for life is a lesson you can learn
from experience your knowledge grows
don’t get hung up on the lows
for every dip that you may feel
will come a high just as real
find your heart within the silence
never lose sight of who the child is
as you may grow envious of age and power
but that allure is just a broken tower
built upon a sandy pit
all the glitter and gold please ignore
and focus on what’s been writ
by wiser men that came before.

Over the edge
I quiver to look
there’s no bottom  
only a hook
dead bait
hanging
excuse the smell
this is but a tasteless mess
but what the hell!
No filter to muffle
the parasitical ink
grimmest in the minds nose
metaphorical stinks
But here I'll add
I wish you the best
After all this isn't a poem
it's only a mess

Heavy
Is what I carry
In my pockets
In my heart
Weighted like sand
Filling my throat
The fear under my eyelids
Cracks of light that creep in
Thoughts under my skin
Dying just to be let out
But I stay only silent
Let the fog rapture me
The pain can sink in
Past my skin
to the bone
to new days
from the same me

You are my midnight madness
A lover in my dreams
A rewinding case of happenstance
That’s never as it seems

Yet still, such lust soaked visions
Fly free into the night
And I refuse to seek the dawning
Unprepared to meet the light

So lost in moonlit whispers
A forbidden serenade
Where echoes paint the shadows
Like a dream in masquerade

And just as waning slumber
Creeps slow around my door
I resist the rising consciousness
Hungry still, wanting more

I revel in our passion
A frenzy cloaked in black
Such sweet intoxication
No cause for looking back

You are a twilight fancy
A relentless fantasy
A ghost that haunts my stillness
A flame that cannot be

Yet, how I love the falling
How the whispers sweetly stream
You are my Phantom calling
Always in my dreams…

I assure you
This is not inappropriate
I just feel the need to disclose this
No actually I'm bursting at the seams
So get set to know...
Beep...Beep...Beep
                        Hold on, I got’a take this.........................

My guard dropped like an anvil from the sky
I never knew I was up so high
So alone
Freezing from the inside
Hiding lies in lust when love would've done fine