I am from blank line paper,
From Coca-Cola, and ADHD.

I am from the taste of cold wet soil after it rains,
The puddles that show me a blurry reflection of what I could be.

I am from the parties around Christmas time,
and laughing my guts out,
from my sisters, my brothers, and my gifts.

I am from the arguments, and ****** language.
From being told as a child that I'm only good for 3 things, and 3 things only
1).Nothing,
2.)nothing,
and 3.) n o t h i n g,
and stupid, worthless, and dumb.
I am from constant worry about where my mom could be, while learning how to be one myself(For her). Church today? No, I can't. Not today.

I'm from Mexico, Tamales, and Menudo.

I'm from the cold, dark Rio Grande full of snakes,
the water taking me under just as I try gasping the crisp cold air, and the reoccurring feeling of death nearby.

I'm from the fire my Piglet Blanket disappeared in, and from the permanent stains of the water damage my childhood has been left with.

If you still have them around... write them a note. This was 26 years ago. I owe my life to her.
-------------------------
To My Mother
It is your 84th birthday today and I take this time to say, I love you. As I think back to my childhood days, it brings back good feelings of the times we had together.
I remember like it was yesterday the warmth when you held me close.  The nap times when you were beside me while I went to sleep. No greater love can a Mother show than just being there when needed.
I remember coming home from school and finding you about the house.  All was well then and I could go play. There was a ‘something’ about that, which I want my kids to know.
I remember the trust you bestowed on me when I started high school. It was an awesome responsibility to never betray that trust. The lessons learned has carried me through many a rough spot. It shaped my life so that the decisions I made would not cause you pain.
If it were not for your prayers over my 47 years, I shudder to think where I would be today. Thank you for showing me the way and living it with me.
You have molded four lives for which you can take pride. I thank you for making me the person I am today.
Thank You Mom. Happy Birthday!
( written April 1991 )

You're still in here, inside these walls
through open doors and vacant halls
I hear you gently clear your throat
and rustle with your overcoat

I hear you say in deep distress
I have some things I must confess
I Loved You Then I love you still
I love you now, I always will

You have my heart, my heart that's true
a love I thought I really knew...
But love is just not quite that clear
It's juxtaposed with you my dear

I'd rather stay but I must go
for reasons that I do not know
I hope your heart can find a place
to close your eyes and see my face

Remember what it meant to me,
I hope my love can set you free
for I am your eternity,
and with you I will always be
and I will never really say
Goodbye my sweet

So we must both lie down to rest,
No need for you to get undressed
So cover up and go to sleep,
& dry those eyes from tears you weep

Where I am going
I must go alone,
this is your place
this is your home,
you must stay.

One day I know we'll meet again,
In time I know your heart will mend
Through Heavens gate I'll wait for thee
With open arms on bended knee
Where Spirits run
In fields of wheat
To find their souls last one retreat

So I'll instead just say farewell,  
& hope in this you will not dwell
You know that I just cannot stay,
the sun will shine again today,

So smile at the sky above  
& know that you are truly loved,

We are timeless

So you will know,
you will never
really
be alone.

All Rights Reserved © 2016 - May 29
Cherie Nolan

Mommy, did you know
That your little girl died at only twelve years old?
Her body remains
But there is no longer a soul
Someone had murdered her spirit
And it took quite the toll
But she'll never reveal it
Who had done it to her

Mommy, did you know
That even though your little girl is dead
She watches from her safe house
Where there is no pain and dread
She watches her shell of a body
With dull, impure eyes  
Walking around like a zombie
Searching for a reason to this life

Mommy, did you know
That your little girl loved you so much
That in order to save you from the pain   She took the fatal punch?

in Ohio state, that place by the lake
I miss those waves and that sandy grate
my dreams are laced with memories made
waiting for a walleye to take my bait

on Edson street, down at the creek
I leaped in just to wet my feet
where steelhead and salmon meet
it's still a dream my memory keeps

Main street beach, out on the pier
we drank in life and drank down beer
we swam to the breakwall without fear
those memories, i still hold dear

I have many wishes.....
To wake up each morning and love life
Forever smiling
Knowing that the world will smile back
To gaze into the eyes of true love
It's beauty deflecting my ugly
To lie under a blanket of stars
Warmed by wonder and endless possibility
The sweet smell of blossoms
Invading my bruises
Painting new colours in a history
Where my body has not
Betrayed me
Tomorrow .....
In a windowless room
With fake art on the wall
I'll know .....
And my only wish
Is for more
Time ......

(C) Pixievic

She tried the fiery reds
like love, hearts
and the end of cigarettes
Like the sun rising on a brand new day
But she's tried too much
and they've become a cold, sad grey

Like an elephant
who remembers acquaintances from the past
revisiting their graves
like an old iconoclast

She once tried all of the blues
Tight ripped jeans and salty rivers
for a lover, their eyes the same hue
She even tried to swim out into the ocean spray
But she's tried too much
and they've become a bleak, empty grey

Like the clouds of a storm
on the Fourth of July
******* the joy from
explosions in the sky

She confided at times in the colors brown
The pitch of her own eyes, of sand
and her old hometown
She tried to sculpt her feelings in clay
But she's tried too much
and they've become a dry, calloused grey

Like stones of a castle
built to keep others out
She's locked away in her tower
with a head full of doubt

I hear that, these days, she dabbles in black
Like emptiness, nightmares,
and crooked witch hats
Not unlike the swan in the ballet
But at least this is one color
that will never turn grey

This is this
Imperfectly perfect
Shadows burned into candlelight
Yin to yang
Two halves of something
Powerless as our passions unite
Chasing rainbows
Through shrouded skies
Bursting clouds to find our light
This is this
Imperfectly perfect
Two stars in the ocean burning bright


(C) Pixievic