have his tired eyes,
weary sighs
and silent cries
still not made you realize
that he's tired of your lies?
he knows you'll never love him, no matter how hard he tries.
darling, you are leading him to his demise.
and yet, it is you, only you, whom he will never despise.

*how much will he take
before he breaks?

what an odd position -
- my opposition -
what was a small percentage
grew tenfold, those once instrumental
to my success, chose to withhold -
and not speak -
- true intentions - evading patience
now why i sweat and stress shaking
hands with a red face pacing
hallways making
aching to be making
something outta nothing -
- what else is new

he said
one day,
baby girl,
i'll buy you
the world
sprinkle you
with diamonds
and head to toe
in pearls
you'll dress in
the finest of silks
eat the freshest of foods
drink the purest of milk
sleep under
the most stunning mosaic
on a bed made of feathers
you will lay
never will
a worry cross your mind
the night will never be dark
i'll make sure your stars always shine
never be cold
blankets made of the fluffiest wool
with intricate patterns
made with the thread of gold
your hands will never
feel restricted to give
you can help others survive
support them to live
the orphans, the widows
the refugees, the victims
will always know
who to turn to to help them

you will be my queen
bare with me a few years
i'll make my way to the top
and then rid you of all financial fears
until then you have
my full heart, body & soul
just a while longer
& i'll buy you the world

she looks at him
and shakes her head
takes his hand
makes him sit on the bed
looks him in the eye
and starts to smile
*my love,
my darling,
my reason to live,
hear me clearly
when i say this
i need no riches
i need no gold
for all these are material
you are my world
let paper money
and bank accounts
fly away
and burn to the ground
we'll build our home
with our bare hands
work day and night
sow and reap our own lands
with what we earn
we'll share with the world
we'll laugh and be merry
live together then marry
have children and watch them grow
and make beautiful our own little world

i appreciate the thought
but happiness can't be bought
the two of us together
is enough for me, forever ♡

Seeing my reflection is hard to take,
trying to come to terms with myself.
It all falls away, so lonely and afraid-
Conjuring up enough nerve to pray.
What or who am I praying to?
But by this time I just don't want the pain,
the heartache I feel so deep inside,
I want it all to go away, so far away-
feel some peace in my life some day.

My heads pounding
My necks twisted amuck
think I'mma stop giving a ****
Light up a blunt and do what I want -
woah wait -
ain't that the **** that got me
here in the first place?
Worst case I nervously pace
the halls for a day - two or a weekend
Blasting the weeknd
Entire enviroment reeking
shrieking -
Nah -
I'm better than that.
Can't latch onto the past.
That's the trash that got
us there at the start - instead
I prepare it in art
And share from the heart, with you.
And you.
And you and you and you.
Because why not?
It helps forget about that pinebox looming-
Thinking outside the winebox lucid -
I mean Windex, clean em out
And a win decks, stacks paper chips
You can't say this isn't some matrix blips
I am not losing ****
I am manuevering this beautiful thing
up past this ******* Nuva Ring
Cause that's life - you can get beat
or keep it on a leash - jeez
that's sexist. I don't know
where this became an accepted
comparison, its embarrassing
comparing them - to K9's
But we hear it through the grapevine
Turns of phrase we make fine.

I'm a cast away
From my own
I'm a second away
From all I know
I'm a smiling *****
At least to you
You are a sweet forget
From all I knew.
You are the shrew
Little boy.
I'm not your ****
Or little toy.
You, you I try
To avoid.
Scenic routes
Are better inside.
Inside myself where
I take my own steps.
Being alone I've
Figured is the
Best,

the devil, It asked me too, and
I obliged with great charisma
A welcoming gesture:
Dinner
Drinks
Dancing
Laughter
Each minute lubricant tempting
anticipation in impatient people
Because why not?
The house is so quiet without the cries.
My head, so empty without the dreams.
The bed so still.
Still, I don't know you.

does it really matter?
that I don't remember?
does it really matter?
that every minute I'm enveloped
by letters - patterns and combinations
of words making sure I comprehend where we're
headed? maybe your city is sinking
maybe you're make up isn't as pretty as you were thinking -
genetically speaking
rotting what remains on the weekends
I don't want to forget I guess
it's just what happens next I guess
it's just what happens when you're laughing
and the seconds are flashing by
You're friends are gone by the time you realize
what time it is - the lights are on
their lights are out - I should be asleep
but I can't figure out how
to get there in what's deemed a reasonable time
by the time I have to be where I'm told
I wonder how many times this will happen until
I look up to the mirror old - and grey
I was told, this would happen someday
but when? I ask -
I don't think it's too unreasonable to want to know.