As the sun folds in half
the orange horizon blazed in the sky
darkness plunged
and cover the world

I closed my eyes,
found myself laying in the soft, moist grass,
feeling the weight of the earth
the humming of the wind,
birds singing wistfully
crickets hiding in their sanctuary

I am alone with the brimming moon
and the myriad of stars

all the flaws, imperfections and scars
became hidden from the dark

for once, my soul revives...

no one can touch me.

A pierced spirit remains
Brought low but prideful
Judgement of myself
Without any self-value

Pangs of hatred stir
And of sorrow lost
Execution of soul
A shell without purpose

How utterly I have been broken
Oh! Faith has been vanquished!
An enemy has ravaged my heart
Decrepit and crippled ruins remain

There is no more hope
I am blind with pain
I no longer know my way
Loss is all there is

When the crowds have abandoned you and friends have turned their back on you. When your family has no answers for you and the knowledge of man has failed, there is a place where help can be found. In the words of wisdom not given of the souls of me, but from one who understands what you are going through. Christ will be there and he will understand, for what ever you think you are going through, you are not alone. He was there before you and knows what it takes when the world is not enough.

Every chore is a blessing,
Every blessing a chore.
Everyday holds bad and good.
'Tis but life, and nothing more.

Would you love you me even when I'm down?

When my sadness leaves me broken on the ground?

Do you promise to break the walls I build?

This void, will you fill?

Will you be there through it all?

At the precipice of utter desolation.

Do you fall victim to hesitation?

Or will you catch me if I fall?

Do you ever wish you could turn it off?
Your mind, your heart, your saddest song?
The part of you that lays awake
until the crack of dawn in tears and shaking.
The part that wants to hide away
the one inside who stays
only to make your day horrible before it's even begun.
Don't you wish you could turn it off?

If you let it,
The ocean will carry you.
Feel yourself bobbing up and down
With the pulse of the universe
And just trust
That it will bring you back,
To lively shores.

When we said
Goodbye
The more I knew
I just can't
Let you go.

Dissociation:
noun
the disconnection or separation of something from something else or
the state of being disconnected.
CHEMISTRY
the splitting of a molecule into smaller molecules, atoms, or ions,
especially by a reversible process.
PSYCHIATRY
separation of normally related mental processes, resulting in one group functioning independently from the rest, leading in extreme cases to disorders such as multiple personality.

Dissociation is not trendy.
It’s not just depression or starring into space.
It’s so much more
It’s crawling away form reality and making
a home in your head.
Losing contact with your body.

Dissociation is not knowing who you are.
Dissociation is watching yourself in third person.
Dissociation is feeling so scared that you’d rather loose
yourself entirely then live in the present.

Dissociation is not always multiple personalities
but sometimes no personality.
It’s losing time.
It’s not recognizing those you love.

It’s having little to no memory of
anything that happened after the fifth grade.
its knowing faces but not exactly sure where
from.

It’s a defense mechanism.
It’s writing your name on the back of your hand to not
completely lose all of you.

It’s wearing a rubber band to snap yourself back
because you have taught yourself to know
when you are losing yourself

It’s getting help,
because you know in your very few
lucid moments that this is not normal.