My wrist aches to be carved and cut
But you tell me not to
And I'm trying so hard
But I'm weaker then before
You say I can be so much more
But you can't see
All I want to be
Is 6ft under
And maybe more

breathe.
                                   breathe                           breathe.                            breathe.


i                bleed                    at           the                      thought                of
      
          being                           alone                             forever.
  
i                                  already                   am                          alone....



                                       forever.

How did we end up like this? When did things change and turn into these empty conversations & broken promises? Why did you let everything we ever built come crashing down in seconds? Since when did you decide to walk away and leave me here without an explanation? Leaving me here to second guess myself & every choice I've ever made? Why would you be so oblivious to everything I ever told you? I never lied when I told you how I felt so why would you pretend it didn't happen? How could you run away as soon as things got complicated, just pack up and leave? How could you this to me?

Maybe if I tell myself
I don't need you
Enough times
You will disappear
From my trapped mind

And that will be my down

                                                 fall

He took away my happiness, he took away my confidence, he took away the love i once felt, he took away my innocence.
He took away my peace, he took away my dignity, he took away the trust i once had, he took away my sanity.
He took away my joy, he took, away my smile, he TOOK away everything it takes to be a child.

When I was 14
I wanted to die
and as I sat silent in my room
no longer crying
with the blade in my hand
on my wrist
I wasn't bothered by the fact
that I didn't write a note
to say how I feel
to blame everyone for my decision
to say my final goodbyes.

I didn't bother.
I was so sure they wouldn't care
wouldn't notice
wouldn't mind.

I'm almost 20 now
and I am still sure.
No one would notice.
No one would care.
No one would mind.

And unlike 6 years ago.
No one is with me
to stop me now.

Everyone says
There is a little
Piece
Of
Heaven here
On earth
All I seeith
Is hell!!

and if you don't
like me, as I do you;
I understand.

because who would
really choose
a daisy, in a field
of roses?

I have no idea how I came into this world

I have no family or a place I can call home

But I know there are many more like me

Traveling in 2s 3s and 4s

Its been hard since day one

I stay with everyone and anyone who can afford me

I stay with them, through their times of need

Stress, Break-up Divorce and even Death

I have to endure his clumsy and groping touch

without a being told twice

During the middle of the night or in the dead of winter

For days months and perhaps even years

While he uses me til his 5 minutes of satisfaction are up

And when he is done

He will throw me to the curb, where I will lay naked and spent


Who am I ?