When I was 14
I wanted to die
and as I sat silent in my room
no longer crying
with the blade in my hand
on my wrist
I wasn't bothered by the fact
that I didn't write a note
to say how I feel
to blame everyone for my decision
to say my final goodbyes.

I didn't bother.
I was so sure they wouldn't care
wouldn't notice
wouldn't mind.

I'm almost 20 now
and I am still sure.
No one would notice.
No one would care.
No one would mind.

And unlike 6 years ago.
No one is with me
to stop me now.