Tired but awake,
Oh Ginsberg and Kerouac -
I am beat

i miss
putting you to bed
tucking you in
tight
under the covers
daddy stay
don’t leave
you’d say
pulling back the covers
patting the mattress
inviting me to lay
spoon
making sure
you felt loved
safe
like a baby
kangaroo

Everything is relative
but no one is relatable
when cheap *** sells
and romanticism is an affliction.

I want to play jazz chords on a piano of human bones;
in a world where superficial charm
leading to senseless friction
is the only natural progression
and shame is the only ***** word left in the dictionary
so spread your legs for the sycophants,
they’ll adore you until they abhor you.
Relent to the parasites
they’ll gorge on your skin until they’ve had their fill.
Pretend hypersexuality doesn’t run parallel with mental instability;
enable ego-driven addiction
lie with as many people as it takes to forget what you’re always trying to escape.
Swallow ecstasy after you have spat out that jagged little pill;
do what it takes to strip away the meaningless
from the fetishized act you’re always performing.

Hoping she’s sleeping
Not creeping about  
And in silence I’m keeping with
Demons of doubt
They keep nagging
And bragging
I told you so
Knowing
Before she invaded my heart
Overflowing
In storms of her turbulent
Surge volatility
Scourge of the underworld
Urging virility
Silly me thinking
She loses control
Just misplaces her mind
And embraces the cold