Submit your work, meet writers and drop the ads. Become a member
 
Circa 1994 Sep 2014
Too much stillness
Not enough movement.
So I run long and fast.
But the time doesn't pass
Any more than it had
When I was just sitting on my ***.

**** I'm bored.
I need something to do.
A new hobby
Trying on some shoes.
Everything exciting is too far away
Too expensive.

If I could be content with my own company
And never have to rely on anybody
I think I'd be more happy.
More self sufficient
And people would need me
Instead of me needing them.
The end.
Circa 1994 Apr 2015
Baby he don't want you
Baby he don't love you.
Take a look
Take a listen,
Take back all the things you've entrusted.
Don't let his dance fool you
Don't be mesmerized
By his shady kisses
And his shadowy eyes.
He's not an enigma
But he'll be your demise.
Circa 1994 Oct 2014
Baby your eyes are my demise
And I'm enjoying the road to decay.
Love me softly,
Oh so sweetly.
Dip your finger in me
And taste the marmalade.
Circa 1994 Jan 2014
I'm lying on this inflatable mattress. And I'm cold. And I'm miserable. & I want to go home. But I don't know where that is anymore.
Circa 1994 Jan 2013
It’s the way colors would taste if you could eat them. White would taste of contentment, yellow of happiness, purple of infatuation, red of passion, and pink would taste of endearment. Pick your poison; they’ll all be the death of you in the end.
It’s the way it smells when it first begins to rain. Its aroma lingers like vanilla, fresh linen, or an open flame that’s sparks kiss your fingertips. It clings to your clothes and in your hair to be smelled by others around you. To some, this scent may be too strong.
It sounds like complete silence amidst a roaring thunder. It’s at a frequency only you can hear and comprehend. It’s a ringing in your ears that leaves them throbbing or the echo of voices when you’re submerged in water --- starting loud and progressively fading away with the sunlight that rests on the water’s horizon.
It’s the way butterfly kisses feel, faintly tickling your cheeks when they’re damp with fresh tears. Or the way your body shudders at the touch of a cold hand and your temperature elevates, leaving a numbness where fingers traced over your skin.
It’s the way a sea of grass looks when you’re crawling on your hands and knees. It’s the sight of two hands clasped with fingers intertwined. It’s what causes your eyes to widen when you see the expression that lingers on her face when she thinks you’re not looking. The look that says all that can’t be spoken with words.
It’s all the power that lies within that four letter, one syllable word. The word that redefines every one of your five senses. ..
Love.
Love may be like a lot of things, but it’s not like falling. I never fully understood the expression “falling in love” --- probably because it isn’t accurate, and doesn’t make sense. Falling is what people do on a daily basis --- love is when someone catches you.
Circa 1994 Mar 2014
I can tell when I'm trying to hard to sound like what I feel a writer should.
Circa 1994 Jul 2015
I want to blow myself to smithereens.*
There's a tightening in my chest that accompanies the shame I feel.
I can be a good girl
I can fake a nice girl
I can detach from my own skin.
Smile. Nod your head. Agree with everything being said.
And when it hurts to be a shell of a person
Remind yourself that you've hurt him worse.
Circa 1994 Dec 2013
it's that sinking feeling,
you know the one-
like getting water in your ears
or wearing wet socks in dry shoes.
Like when a person takes too long to reply to your
"I love you"
or simply never replies at all.
I'm sure you've felt it,
the feeling you get
as you wait for the police officer to return
with your license and registration.
Five minutes seems like five days.
Maybe you'll get off with a warning.
Circa 1994 Apr 2014
Wake me up with your mouth
To put me to sleep with your fingers.
The tickle of your hair
The warmth of your breath
And I'm very nearly dead.
Circa 1994 Mar 2015
That ****** me up.
That thing you said.
And then you left me
all sticky
Your slimy words in my head.

It worked.
Mission accomplished.
I am indeed
A self fulfilling prophecy.

Why is that
Heavy things flatten me out.
And when im smooshed
You can flutter about.
Circa 1994 May 2015
a pulse in your chest
and one to match between your legs.
racing,
pacing,
speed racer baby.
on all fours.
peering up at me,
tearing up,
cheer up pretty lady.
i won't make you do the things
that make you cringe.
the things that stain up the walls of your mind
and the back of your throat,
so you can pretend you're loved.
Circa 1994 Jun 2014
I'm not this perfect entity untouched by anyone.

I'm just a girl who has touched too many people
And not enough hearts.
I wash my hands until the skin is raw
But I'm still not clean enough for you.
Circa 1994 Sep 2013
I lie awake and picture
How I'd like my dreams to play out
When I'm swept up in the cover of sleep.
I forget my loneliness in this dimension.
I forget that I'm average
And that I have nothing to write
Under the sub heading for special skills on my resume.
In my dreams I am not perfect
But no one else knows that.
I'm almost convinced I'm larger than life
Until I wake up.
Circa 1994 May 2013
You like me more when you're asleep.
I seem prettier through your closed eyelids.
My voice is more sing-songier over your snores.
My touch feels electric.
I'm as real as you want me to be.
I exist as long as you're sleeping.
Circa 1994 Apr 2014
There is a point at every party
where I look at myself if the mirror
and realize how drunk I am.

Then I laugh because I don't recognize myself.
Circa 1994 Dec 2014
I don't want to be found.
people are hard,
People are hurting.

But I'm a fragile beautiful thing
it's just going to take the right person to see.

just get through today. Just get through today.
there's nothing wrong. You're perfectly OK.

Use people like tissues.
throw them away after one use.
discard your emotions
until you hear further news.

I'm okay with being an acquired taste.
I'll repel the wrong people.
the right people will fall in love with me instantly.

I'm not convenient.
I'm not easy.
I'm fickle.
I'm bored.

love me and leave me like all the others before.
Circa 1994 Nov 2013
Remember the first time
I told you that I adore you?
And you said it made your stomach feel strange,
in a good way I suppose.

I get that same
pleasantly strange feeling
when I think of touching you,
or you touching me.
Or even just lying within arms length of of each other.

It starts
in my stomach
and leaves a tingling trail
throughout my hips.
Sometimes retreating to my lips.

Sometimes I pretend
we're only separated by the duvet on my bed
*instead of the Atlantic ocean.
Circa 1994 May 2014
be still.
make a choice to avoid making any choices for as long as you possibly can.
what power do you have when so many other people's choices blur your own.

close your eyes.
decide not to decide.
decisions are for people that have nothing better to do than choose.

but I do.
i just choose not to.
my mother said to pick the very best one and you
are.
not.
it.
Circa 1994 Jan 2015
"Who should I call in the event of an emergency?"

I'll scroll through my phone and pretend there is someone that could come running to my rescue.

"This is what you wanted God. Right?"

I've overstayed my welcome in every home I've lived in.
I've driven away all those I love into the hands of sleep.
An excuse to escape me.
And I'm letting go.
I'm giving in.

"Can I come over? I don't want to be alone tonight."

People don't like things they don't understand.
Surrounded on all sides by people.
Drowning in a sea of lonely.
Circa 1994 Nov 2014
Send in the hounds
a brigade just escaped from the pound
to tear me to pieces with their incisors
And use their claws to wear me down
To an unrecognizable pink pulp
Of inadequacy and hurt feelings.

Because words won't **** me
Nor make me any stronger.
So have your will
Have your way
And I'll wait for your permission,
Until you say it's okay
For me to be sad
Happy
Laconic
Mad.

On your mark
Get ready
Get set...
Circa 1994 Jun 2013
I forgot how to whistle
somewhere in between
my growing love for you
and the escalating hatred
I had for myself.
I was a chicken drumstick
that had been picked apart
until no meat remained.
Even the marrow
had been ****** out.
Circa 1994 Feb 2014
The curves of your mouth
Are poetic.
Your eyes
Are two serenades
Sung by the sea.
Your voice  caresses
The ears of those that hear it.

You are a melody.
Circa 1994 Mar 2014
He needed her to cope
and grew to love her;
for she was the prettiest thing in his view
But now she's obsolete.
He opened his eyes
wide.
Too wide.
So wide,
that he saw that there were prettier things.

So distracted by the beauty all around him,
he forgot to love her.
Forgot he ever had.
She made the most of not being seen.
"Some day his eyes will grow tired and he'll have to close them."
Or so she told herself.
Circa 1994 Sep 2015
My stomach became painful when you said those things.
Did you even stop to consider?
"Are you not entertained!?"
You didn't even realized the translation of your words.
"You're not enough."
Ok. Ok.
But I missed you so.
******* twatish is what it is.
Spoiled.
Thoughtless.
"Be more flashy
Be more loud
Keep my attention if you want to keep me."
You've ruined it,
My welcome back party has been crashed.
Thanks a bundle dear friend.
Circa 1994 Feb 2014
How do you say you feel hollow
Without sounding pretentious?

"Fine. I feel fine."
Circa 1994 Dec 2016
Misunderstood,
Such a cliche thing to be.
I'm a user.
I'm a rude girl with a bad attitude.
I don't respond to authority well.
Clingy.
Selfish.
Pessimistic punk.
Teach me a lesson about my own existence.
Tell me not to roll my eyes.
It's instinct,
Like your inability to spew anything but verbal ****.
Tell me how it's because I'm young.
I know everything.
When I hear laughter I assume it's at my expense.
You don't like me,
What a big ******* surprise.
Thanks for giving me a reason to give up.
Circa 1994 Mar 2015
People die all the time.
Like god mothers
And kids you knew from school but never spoke to.

People you cry for until you die too.
Some who aren't worth a tear.

People who you prayed for and thought would get better.
Some deaths come as no surprise.
Circa 1994 May 2014
Afterthought
Aftershocks
I am not.
Nevermore
Neverever
No I'm not.
Leftovers
Left brained
No more.

Slowly, slowly pull me apart
And put me in a stew.
Circa 1994 Mar 2014
I have you in my heart,
and you occupy my head,
now all I need is you in my bed.
Circa 1994 Aug 2013
Hello.
My name is Oshin.
I used to be somebody's girlfriend.
Now I am not.
But I am still Me I think.

"Hi Oshin."
Circa 1994 Mar 2014
It seems like flattery
To make someone your everything;
But the thing about that is
It's not healthy.

The cure?
Medicine.
Bed rest.
And a distraction couldn't hurt.
Circa 1994 Jan 2014
why do you even like me?
4,432 miles away
and you still find a way to make me
nervous.
I calculate my words
and find that they are lacking.

Our romance is long division.
Did I forget to carry the one?

what is it about me?
Is it the way my hair frizzes when it's wet?
or the fact that my teeth are still slightly crooked despite my having had braces?

No.
Surely it's my flirting.
And how my attempts at **** come off pathetic.
I'm sure you find it endearing.

I didn't notice that face,
the one I make when I'm concentrating -
until you mentioned it.

a bit of me is bothered,
bothered that you notice my embarrassing habits.
but another bit,
and a more prominent one -
is flattered.
flattered that you're watching me so closely
that you can see things
that I haven't noticed for 19 years.
Keep watching.
You're bound to see something you like.
Circa 1994 Mar 2014
I'm sorry for the things I said
I'm sorry for not loving you
The way you needed me to
But I loved you the best I could.
Honest.
For my dad.
Circa 1994 Sep 2013
He said: "Of all the chat sites in all the internet, she walked into the one I happen to use."
He was drunk when they first spoke.
But she was too enthralled by the fact that he thought she had good taste in music to notice.
It had taken her years to train her ears to appreciate the sound of a bass solo
and learn to distinguish the no name bands worth knowing, from those that were not.

She had an appreciation for clavicles
and wrote too many poems about what love was, wasn't, and should be.
She liked to pretend that she hated cliches, yet her favorite movie was chalk full of them.

She said: "I dig you."
She dug so many things about him.
He had so much worth digging.
His love of the ocean and all things aquatic.
His green-gray eyes.
His general lack of amusement with things of the romantic sort.

He was too sincere to ever use lols
and fancied himself most competitive cooking shows.
And though he'd never driven a car, he had been para-sailing.

She said: "You're my person."
He said" "Make the world your person."
So they continued on in their mutual amusement,
exchanging selfies, sweaters and songs.
They spoke a unique language consisting of
puns
snark
lyrics
and innuendo.
Circa 1994 Jan 2014
im not this little girl that's afraid of the world.
im not afraid of the dark
or my father
or the end of days.

im not afraid i'll regret the things i didnt say
or do.
or the places i didnt go.

im not afraid of anything.
.
.
.
except you.
Circa 1994 Mar 2015
boys make me tired boys make me ache boys make me want to scoop out my eyeballs  with silver spoons so I don't have to see the hurt I'm inflicting on myself

boys want attention I think they need it more than me. I want attention but I also want to be happy

people are mean fickle things
Inflicting pain to heal their hurt
They aren't nice because niceness burns and stings
Warped thoughts
Melted mind.
when did my guilt become your antidote?
Let this be a dream.
Circa 1994 Mar 2014
My socks are a conversation starter,
They have more to say than me.
I request a Kid Cudi song
To the kid with his laptop open to YouTube,
Pretending to be a DJ.
Someone takes a long pull on the hookah.

I discuss True Blood in the backseat of a car with a girl from Hungry.
I drink a Capri Sun.
Eat some Ritz.

My mind is sober and waiting for my body to catch up.
Circa 1994 Jan 2013
To hear him speak is bliss,
To feel his touch is ecstasy,
To see his smile is heaven,
To smell him is a pleasure,
To taste him is a sin.
Circa 1994 Mar 2014
I could almost pretend it never happened.
That I'd never lost the sensations I felt now like refreshers
Making my limbs tingle
as if I were a  carbonated beverage.
Circa 1994 Dec 2014
This is an apology
To make up for all the arguing.
I'm sorry
I'm not gentler
Not what you need
Not patient
Not relaxed.
I'm sorry I'm spiteful
And I get hurt so easily.
I'm sorry for yesterday,
The day before.
For the times I'm argumentative.
That I don't like bowie.
Sorry for when I'm sad
And when I make you feel bad.
When I pity myself
And get jealous.
I'm sorry.
Circa 1994 Oct 2013
I want you
in the                                                                                                                                                            worst.
                                                                                                                                                          possible.
                                                                                                                                                way.
The kind
of way
that I
ought not
say
aloud.
So I'll whisper instead.
Circa 1994 Oct 2014
Relief.
A rush of it comes
As the words tumble out.

Because the words are true
And the feeling is nice
Which is precisely why I'd choose you every time.

It was always you
You were always the one
That I was going to pick
To give all my love.
Circa 1994 Nov 2014
Remember when we were driving home from a concert and held hands above the stick shift.
Recall the instance where I made you close your eyes so I could kiss you.
Think of the time we fed each other bites of mango with sticky eager fingers.

When you're sad know that I love you.
Know that I'm here for you.
And know that you never need to apologize for how you feel.

You're exactly who you're meant to be.
Circa 1994 Dec 2015
Pinky promise
Stick a needle in my eye
I'm rubber and you're glue -
All of me sticks to all of you.
Blanket forts
Pillow fights
Sleepy eyes
From long nights.

You're my partner in crime
My lover
And best friend til the end.
To counteract my mood.
Circa 1994 Jan 2015
stick your thumb in my mouth,
Alleyway, alley cat.
scritch
scritch
scratch

I hereby solemnly swear - to you I'll bow.
Between your knees.
Wedged between your thighs,
while I stare up at your face -
into your bloodshot (deceptive) eyes.

You act like no one's ever called you a **** before.
But that can't be true,
cause you're the devil himself.
You do what feels good.
"To take the edge off," you say as you promise to be okay.

I don't believe you.
You're not sincere.
Because the first time we met - you weren't wearing underwear.

You degenerate.
You minx in the prime of her youth.
I'll love you and use you,
but only because you asked me to.
Circa 1994 Jan 2015
mommy's first mistake.
hair and eyes the color of freshly mixed mud.
too small and lumpy.

passed off to daddy like a hot potato.
that potato grew.
and now i'm daddy's regret too.
Circa 1994 Jan 2013
He talks to me through the radio,
Crooning out my name
To a catchy tune.
It’s stuck in my head.
I welcome the torture.
Your forecast predicts
Rain clouds and harsh winds.
I’ll pretend it’s spring
And the sky is sunny.
The only rain
Will be my tears
Watering the weeds
That have overgrown in my
Quaint garden.
Circa 1994 Feb 2014
One of my favorite animals is a giraffe.
They're so awkward and lanky,
yet despite their strange appearance
there is a a grace in there gallivant;
there is a beauty to their mien.

They don't flaunt their attributes
or covet the patterns of their wildlife peers
because they have been graced with the privilege
to indulge in the secrets whispered by the leaves
amongst the tree tops.
Circa 1994 Apr 2014
she wrote her number on a cigarette.
three days later I inhale smoke as the numbers burn away.
the pile of ash on the ledge of the balcony is the only proof that she ever existed.
if she doesn't exist then I can't miss her.
I didn't lose her because she was never here.

but the smoke feels heavy in my lungs
and that's proof enough.
it felt as though those digits were swirling around,
choking me
so that with every cough I ingrained the memory of her deeper in my mind.

*she's gone. she's gone. she's gone.
Circa 1994 Sep 2016
I could have been floating on rainbow river,
but the fool I am - I stayed in
thinking we could make up for lost time.

But I should have seen this coming.
Because I did it too.
Kept making the choice that I knew hurt you.
prodding a wound with ***** fingers.

visions of my own death play in my head,
a silent movie that speaks volumes.
Oh, karma - how could I have forgotten you would return for me?
Taking the things I cherish,
sweeping away every good thing in your wake.

how can I fault him for my mistake,
look how long it took me.
but what good has it done me to do good,
when it's brought him no closer to me.

he's on the other side of a massive rift that grows deeper with every word he speaks.
I love you - a shovel in the dirt.
you're out with friends, and I'm lying in the sodden earth.
be merciful.
Next page