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Christian Bixler Dec 2016
I dreamt once of falling,
falling, through
the tales of my life;
and everything
was dim, and my
truths were twisted,
distorted into beings
of fantasy, of light,
and of darkness.
I saw then that this
was because my eyes,
though turned inward,
had yet to cleanse
themselves of the dust
of illusion, which is the
nature of existence,
and which, though neither
good nor bad, is an obstacle
to the perception of the
truth. Thus, when I looked
upon my truths of vision,
I recognized that these were
doubly mine, for they were
formed not only of experience,
but of illusion, and the dreamings
of my mind. And I acknowledged,
in dream, that this was neither good,
nor bad. Determined, however, in
the view of my understanding,
flawed as it was through its
passage into my-self, through
my-self, I looked about me for
the eye of my beholding, that
I might wash it clean with
the realization of its folly,
and I saw that I was within the
eye of my perception, and that
it was in me, and that in ultimate
reality, my Self was the essence,
and the quintessential embodiment
of the eye of my perception,
which was clouded through the
veil of existence, but which
possessed the power to see into
the depths of the universe, and
into the sacred mysteries of
the cosmic heart. Therefore, I
reached outside myself, into the
vastness of the universe,
and inside myself, into the
intricacies of my heart, and
found there my eyes, and
wiped them clean. Held in my
hands, within the clasp of
my fingers, blind I saw, as my
eyes saw, the pulsing of the
veins through my fingers,
webbed and branching
bridges, filled with the blood
of my heart, which was life,
which was the essence of
the universe; for within every
speck of nothingness, I saw, were
the seeds for a thousand, thousand
universes, of boundless life. And I
saw, in that moment in dream, that
there is no end to nothingness,
and so is no end to life, even in the
midst of all absence. Seeing this, I
released my eyes, and
my sight returned to me; and I
saw through it my distorted truths.
And before the sight of the eye
of my perception, cleansed of the fog
of life, which had clung to it
unceasing, from the moment of my
birth, free of all illusion, I for the first
time beheld myself; and I wept, in joy,
and in sadness, for I saw then that
what I had perceived as the distortions
of illusion, were in reality, but the
essence of my truth, tilted so,
that the light of my perception would
scatter upon them, shattering into a
thousand fragments of reflected hues,
and that these were not the images of
falsehood, but rather my Truth, colored
in the truth of my perception, into a
form that I could understand, within
the illusion, that is the nature of
existence. I saw this, and wept, and in
weeping, my heart was cleansed,
and my soul was freed of the burden of
existence, and of perception. Adrift then
in the nothingness of my Being, I recognized
that I was not, and yet, that I was, unique
in the vast glory of the oneness of my soul
with the soul of the universe, which is the light
of all souls, future, past, and present, as it is
One soul, of all, above all, within all,
which is Love, and Truth.

I saw this, in the nothingness of
my being, which was in truth,
everything, as it was nothing,
in time and out of time,
in the glory of change in stasis,
and stasis, within change.
I saw this, in that moment,
in dream, outside of all
moments, in the circle
of time; and I woke,
to the illusion of the world,
forgetful as always,
as to the nature of
Dream.
Written late at night, in love, and in weariness.
Christian Bixler Dec 2016
I sleep, in jeweled fragments,
alone, but for the
whispers of my soul.

They speak to me of
love, of loss, of
sorrow, and of the
peril of joy,
unchecked.

They speak to me
of beginnings,
and of endings,
of discovery,
and of peace.

They speak to me
of the promise of
the morning,
of absence,
and of silence.

They speak of love...
of love, and
of joys
beginning,
anew
in my heart.

They speak to me
of many things,
of many things,
and one: and
that, to let go
my heart,
to let go my love,
and all its promise..
to let go,
and begin the search
once more.
Christian Bixler Dec 2016
My soul is like that
of an ant, of an
elephant, and
the summer storm,
my soul is like that of an
aeroplane, of the
starry skies and the
rushing tide;
my love is like that of the universe,
boundless, illimitable,
eternal in the womb of light,
I swim in the seas of nothingness,
and marvel at the beauty
of all.
My passion is like the air
before the storm, like the
lightning, like the thunder,
like the breath of life
that lingers, after the storm
has gone its way.
I swim in a sea of madness,
of love of hope, of
mad despair,
Mad! Mad!
For I know now
what I knew before, what
I've known forever,
'neath the wrap
of illusion, 'neath
the shroud of
pain and fear;
that love is all, and eternal,
and we are all
One,
in the starry dance.

Oh, I know that
love is all, and with us,
and we are One,
in the starry dance.
Christian Bixler Dec 2016
Wandering,
eyes staring
into vacant space,
sight forgotten,
within the illimitable
vistas of my mind;
utter beauty.

Possibility, the hope of
adventure, of experience,
of sweet, blissful solitude,
mystical enlightenment...
connection with myself,
with the divine, with
love...my eyes well
in racking ecstasy.

Calling, that dream of the
soul's unfettered flight,
solitude calls to me;
long seconds, minutes,
hours, years, spent in
reflective thought,
and meditation...
Peace.

I will leave the lands of
my childhood, of my
rearing, of my absorption
of near pointless
knowledge. I will leave
the lands of comfort,
of familiarity,
and inner stasis.
I will leave
and post myself, watchful
upon some peak of
majesty and beauty,
and fulfill that
calling in which my
soul lies
forever lost,
and of which it has
been said,
requires little of body,
or of mind; but
of soul, much.
I will go.
Do not follow me.
I have searched for...something, something to call my own, my purpose, my life, for near as long as I have lived. I have found it.
Thank God.
Christian Bixler Nov 2016
Human,
lost,
amidst
endless strife,
without,
and within,
mind
turbulent,
confused,
despairing..

Yet, there is still
light;
there is still
peace-
there is still
God.
I will not despair.
I will love,
I will laugh,
I will cry,
I will sorrow,
on; for I
will not
forego
the sweet, pure
joy of
life,
not without
a fight.

I will live,
and I will
be happy;
I will not
despair.
I promise...
I promise
you.
I will not
despair.

For there is
joy, and peace,
and love,
in life; and
there is eternity,
which is
everything,
embodiment
of all good,
all joy, all
love, all
innocence,
and purity,
within this
life, as well
as the next.
All I must do,
is find it.
A piece of striving, of self-determination, of comfort...forgive my wording..I do not think this is a work in which to edit. Thank you, for listening, those who may. I love you, all of you, as I strive to love the world, in all its glory, and sadness. Thank you, once again.
Christian Bixler Nov 2016
We walk through life,
blind,
knowingly,
and not;
willingly,
and not.
We see the
world,
and let it
pass,
unremarked,
taken as
a fixture
of eternity,
for the
most part.
This, is not
the truth.
The world
is not a thing
of diamond,
not a thing of
light, or
of spirit, wholly,
although it is
all of these
things,
in part;
It is also an
earthen world,
a fragile world,
a beautiful
world,
and one which
we are quickly
stripping of
its beauty,
and its life.
Our world is
dying, and
we are the
cause.
But, there is yet hope.
There is still
time, to
turn back,
to leave behind
us, all this
pain, and
desecration,
and soul-wide
apathy;
there is yet time,
but not for
much longer.
Therefore, I
charge you,
all who read
these words,
and feel them
within your
heart,
change.
Now.
Revitalize your
lives,
revitalize
the world.
Every action
has
significance;
think, before
you act.
I charge you,
do this
thing,
for yourselves,
and for the
world;
and I swear
to you, before
God, and
all the infinite
immutable
and yet
ever-changing
light,
of eternity,
there is yet time.
There is still hope.
the world will
change,
and flower,
for all of
time.
I promise you.
It will.
The world is a thing of beauty.
will you help to preserve this light,
to heal this suffering, inflicted
in the greed of our race?
Or will you not.
There is no other
option.
Christian Bixler Nov 2016
Floating...
lost,
within the multicolored
fragments
of consciousness,
seeds of life
and of all
creation,
everywhere...
my mind a spinning
vortex, all
thought a
myriad
of turbulent
confusions...
I am lost,
within
myself.
And it is good.
Gathered fragments of Novean brightness, strung together, in the dead of night.
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