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“He used you,"
said the psychic with a
look of disgust.

He What?

"He used you.”

But, wait!

What about all those magical nights, when the starry indigo sky exposed
our souls - intertwined - endlessly
wrapped in each other’s arms and dreams - believing we
were stopping time?
It was so real,
so authentic – nothing less than Truth.

"He used you."

Nope.

I wanted to scream
in her face -
You are Wrong!
You are Confused!
Your crystal ball is cracked!
(even though she was spot on about every other aspect of my life).

"He used you."

A part of me knew she was right.
(I hate that part).
That part of me that still finds it
hard to breathe when I think about
the sucker punch he slammed
into my heart on the last day
I ever saw his face again.

A perfect swing
right through my soul,
as a goodbye
(good riddance?)
gift.

“He used you.”

Time Heals.
Shut up.

Anger and betrayal are the
hardest to let go of -  
as if I’m hanging from the wing of
a moving airplane,
holding on for dear life -  not
trusting my own strength.

"He used you."

I won't let go until my
red hot pride ceases to fuel my
stubborness and anger. I won't let go until he feels the same humiliating, soul sucker punch that I did.  I won't let go until endless, sleepless nights consume his mind as he obsessively tries to figure out how he could've been so wrong.

Then I can finally release him, and us, and all
of it – the shame the shame the shame -  
blow it all away with
one deep sigh!
Like a dandelion ******
upon the wind.

"He used you."

But, he loved me.

"Yet, he used you."

He used me?

He. Used. Me.

I wish she had never mentioned it.
Because he always said he loved me.
by Arcassin Burnham


Red wine over a candlelight dinner,
Get Drunk or burn,
we don't get everything we want,
sprinkles are for winners,
become sinners,
and then repenters,
but do we even know ourselves,
like we need a filters,
this is all a dream somebody get the Pincher,
I don't,
need no one to tell me about my love life
I,
need,
someone to love,
and cherish
me,
sometimes I think alone in my room at night,
because,
I think I'll never end up with anyone,
I just got the red wine blues,
////get it/////.
Red and blue are my favorite colors
Revering all holy vessels
manifest and blessed
may this heart
held inside us
harbour
God's
Divine Light
May this heart
held inside us
learn to become
a chalice
for
our own
unconditional love
For all of our dear ones facing illness, and for all of us wishing
to offer the best of ourselves.
©Elisa Maria Argiro
 Oct 2015 Chirayu Writer
NV
01:52 am
have you ever asked yourself like why you so lonely?*

01:53 am
or empty?

that maybe you give too much of your essence to people and never leave any of you for yourself

01:55 am
i know i do

02:05 am
and like that's maybe why i get so attached to humans

because in them,
i find myself


02:07 am
i need to change, because things shouldn't be this way

02:10 am
but it's hard sometimes you know, when most days you don't leave the house because you feel unworthy of the space you take up

02:16 am
so you'd much rather disintegrate into soil because you've become all too familiar with people stepping over you and admiring the outcome of your beauty but never the roots of your pain

02:19 am
i spend so much effort watering people in order for them to grow and hardly get enough sun shine to feed my own soul

02:25 am*
because i don't know how to do anything else but care for everyone but myself
I feel like I'm drowning
But I can see others breathing

And somehow
That's my fault

It's like if I could just learn to be normal
Everything would be okay

And back to the drowning thing;
It's like I'm just inches from the surface
But I don't have the energy to reach it

But I also feel like I'm burning
And freezing
All at once

I know that makes no sense,
But it's like being so cold,
Your insides are on fire

I feel like I'll never be enough
Like everything is pointless
And I have no energy
But I can't sleep at night

Like,
I haven't been posting
On this site
Because I couldn't find the strength
But now I'm posting
In a last attempt to hold on

And it feels like being sick
Like, you know you're going to die
And you know it will be soon
You just don't know when

And it's pointless
I'm pointless
Life is pointless
Everthing is pointless

And I don't know what to do

I'm dying,
Please,
Someone help me...


This is how I feel
I don't know what it is
But this is how I feel

(I'm so sorry)
Sorry this isn't really a poem, and it doesn't really make sense but...
 Oct 2015 Chirayu Writer
D
Learning
 Oct 2015 Chirayu Writer
D
The more I learn,
the more I see religion as a man-made idea
to make us feel that we are some how special
compared to all the other life on earth.
I think I'm scared to accept this
because without my fear of the afterlife,
what else is really keeping my spirit
tethered to this world?
Love?
My need to not present myself
as a burden to others?
i d k . . .
 Oct 2015 Chirayu Writer
D
Each day I tell myself I'm not pretty
I'm not smart, not special,
Maybe I shouldn't go on living
Each day is a battle and
I'm losing my footing
My defenses are weak and
My strength is ebbing
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