Can't Believe It's Not Butter: Favorites

Jan 2016 Can't Believe It's Not Butter

I lied

Jan 2016 Can't Believe It's Not Butter

Pastell dichter

I lied

You asked if I was okay,
I said I was just tired,
Well I lied.
You saw the butterflies,
I said it was for a friend,
Sorry I lied.
You saw my art,
I said I was drawing inspiration from around me,
Oops I lied.
You ask all the time "are you okay?",
And I always say "yeah I'm fine",
But I lie.

#cutting #depression #lying #sorry #fine

Jan 2016 Can't Believe It's Not Butter

butterfly project

Jan 2016 Can't Believe It's Not Butter

Pastell dichter

butterfly project

I'll give you a butterfly and name it after me
I'll tell you not to hurt it its fragile and small
You have to wait to set it free
I know its hard but even if you fall
Don't **** the butterfly
I know it hurts
But don't be the one to make it die
So lesten to the words on paper with blood spurts
Love the butterfly like I love you
And you will get better
Because if you only knew
How much love I put in to this letter

The rules of the butterfly project.
1 Every time you feel like cutting/self harming draw a butterfly on the place you wanted to cut/hurt.
2 Name the butterfly after a loved one or someone who wants you to get better.
3 You have to let the butterfly fade naturally. NO scrubbing it off.
4 If you cut/harm before the butterfly is gone you've killed it.
5 If you have more than one and you cut/ham you **** all of them.
6 If somebody else gives you a butterfly these ones are extra special you have to take good care of them.
7 Even if you don't cut/harm draw a butterfly to show support and name it after somebody you know who cuts or self harms. It could help

#cutting #hurt #gettingbetter #thebutterflyproject

Jan 2016 Can't Believe It's Not Butter

If you knew

Jan 2016 Can't Believe It's Not Butter

Pastell dichter

If you knew

If you knew
That I draw on my skin so I don't cut.
That I'm more broken than you think.
That I hate my body,
My scars,
My brain.

If you knew
That I've cried myself to sleep for the past week because I'm scared of myself.
That I don't trust myself with a knife.
That I just want to sleep,
And never ever,
Wake up.

If you knew
That the only thing keeping me going is the thought of seeing my sweetheart.
That I wish I wasn't born sometimes.
That Im not okay,
No matter,
How manny times you ask.

If you only knew
Whats going through my head as I wright this.
Would you take me to see a therapist?
Would you want to help me?
Or turn your back and tell me that I'm "fine"?

If you knew
That I'm tired of living,
And I just want it to stop.
**...

#depression #hurt #selfhate #ifyouknew

Jan 2016 Can't Believe It's Not Butter

Grey

Jan 2016 Can't Believe It's Not Butter

Pastell dichter

Grey

the world is grey
and dark
I don't like the grey
its boring
and plain
and then
you come in to it
and the world is
full of color
and light
and its...
beautiful
and bright
but then you leave
and it goes grey
I see friends
and there
is a bit of color
but its faded
and dull
but then
the rain comes
and washes
the grey away
and color returns
but then
the puddles dry
and its grey again
I'm
alone
help
me
no sorry
I'm fine
really I am
I'm good
its grey
so grey
I hate grey
and thats why I draw
and paint
so i can put
artificial color
in the world
when i go
to museums
i see the color
in the art
but outside
its grey
i love books,
stores
its warm
and filled with stores
and stores have color
thats why I read
thats why i dance
because the
movement
fills me with
color
thats what
this world
has come to
people looking
for color
for light
all there life
sometimes
we don't find it
and so the world
is **grey

#sad #depression #life #dark #color #light #grey

Jan 2016 Can't Believe It's Not Butter

Superpowers

Jan 2016 Can't Believe It's Not Butter

Pastell dichter

Superpowers

When somebody asked me what superpower I would like to have
I had to think.

Maybe......healing powers so I could jump off of a tall building and make you watch
I wouldn't tell you that I would live
So that you feel the pain I would feel if you did the same thing

Maybe.....knowing everything so I can know just what to say when you are falling into the dark.
So I can know what will help you

Maybe......flight so I can catch you when you fall
And fly you up to the clouds

Maybe......time travel so I could go back in time and tell you not to go down the path that will tear you apart
So I could take you forward in time to show you that everything will be okay

Maybe......the ability to take anybody's pain and make it my own
So I could take all your pain away from you
So you could sleep at night
So you could smile all the time

I would do all that even if it killed me
So please know that even tho I can't do those things I'm still here for you

for my sweetheart

#love #depression #superpowers

Jan 2016 Can't Believe It's Not Butter

Suicidal poem (don't read when triggering)

Jan 2016 Can't Believe It's Not Butter

Storm Raven

Suicidal poem (don't read when triggering)

If I could only slide my wrists and die...
If I only could leave this place behind...
If I only could OD on some pills or...
Jump of a building so high...

I fear I did be gone by now
Weren't it for those people who care
That I am fighting

I want to die
Hurt myself
Commit suicide
But I promised them not too

#suicide #sad #depression #pain #death #depressed #die #dark #suicidal #promise

Jan 2016 Can't Believe It's Not Butter

stop lying

Jan 2016 Can't Believe It's Not Butter

Pastell dichter

stop lying

you say "you'll be okay"
"your not small and alone"

I want to scream "stop lying to me"
but I don't want to hurt you
so I keep quiet
and cry softly

#depression #okay #lying #selfhate

Jan 2016 Can't Believe It's Not Butter

Waiting

Jan 2016 Can't Believe It's Not Butter

Pastell dichter

Waiting

It's like waiting for the executioner
Or your prison sentence

I hate waiting
Because all you can do is worry and fret

It's like waiting to hear the bad news you know is coming
Or for the men to show up and take you away

But all it is
Is my mom picking me up From my dads

#worry #waiting #hating #devorce

Jan 2016 Can't Believe It's Not Butter

.

Jan 2016 Can't Believe It's Not Butter

Lottie

.

Breathing feels like breaking.