are you
an animal
a beast? ?

are you
nothing
but a shell?

does it hurt?
when that dagger comes in
when the truth stabs you

or do you smile?
does being alone
make you whole somehow?

I don't feel like myself today
Maybe I stayed too long in bed
I feel vacant, my soul trailing
lazily over my head
I don't want to Be
               Today
I don't want to see
               Today
Characteristics are gone
               Today
    Only an entity
               Today
I am my own enemy
               Today
I could be my own best friend
but why even pretend
Everything around fills me with dread
I wish I could have stayed in bed
Connections are dead
               Today
Wish that were me instead
               Today
Tomorrow is a short blink away
   I'll open my eyes after
                Today

Growing flames will turn your name into a cloud of ashes.
A flowing mane remains untamed through whirling dervish clashes.
Beating hearts as hope departs through valleys long and winding,
Burning sun, you turn and run, the path ahead is blinding.
You always knew I wouldn't do, so why'd you even bother?
Pass my time by penning rhymes and double ******* lagers.

Being confined,
Limited,
Strained,
Contained
By the few words
I need to say
It's exhausting,
Frustrating,
Chaotic,
In the inner workings
Of my brain
Why is it so
Impossible,
Improbable,
Imperative
That I say these words
In such a way
That I won't
Discard,
Disarm,
Discord
You

Essentially,
I am afraid.

The sounds behind me fade away
As I slowly fall asleep
But when I open my eyes
I find myself in a dream
Here I am, in a crowded room
Full of cheering people
As I stand up in confusion
The floor tilts beneath me
I stare up at them
Finding that I'm shrinking
Or are the others getting taller,
Leaving me standing here, thinking?
Just as one steps on me,
I drift to another dream
Here I lie, in a shed
The door standing agape
The stars shine overhead
While my friend obsesses over tape
This is eerily realistic
In fact, this happened yesterday
Just as I realize this,
I drift back awake
And I stare at the window in surprise
Just outside, I see a note,
"Open your eyes."
So I do, and I find
That was only another dream

The tension,
did you feel it too?
Pulling you-to-me,
or was it metoyou?
One moment
an arms length       away
The next,
nospacebetween

Breathless begins to feel
good