How
*******
pathetic.

the
way
your name tastes
like acid on my tongue.

so I carve
the letters
in to my skin
hoping
so
irrationally
to dissolve it all away

until I am nothing
but
bones
concealing
the
heart that I will
never need again.

He will never,
Fill your lungs,
With sweetness.

He will never,
Hold your,
Aching hand.

He will never,
Mend the,
broken pieces.

He will never,
Learn to,
understand

Time heals
Everything but
Memories

I will lead you on
Without even realizing it
And by then
It will be too late
To do anything

Today was the first day in a while that I thought
About being in your dad's garage
While you set up your lights and trusses
Trying to make a show
You explained to me how they worked
And smiled that smile when you looked over at me
While I was just soaking it all in

I remember, once, being there
Being lost with you
In that moment
Listening to blaring music
Watching your light show play on the ceiling and walls
Being amazed by you
And what you could do
My heart full to bursting of things I couldn't say
Feelings I felt for you
Being there was like being in your heart
I was a third party watching you doing what you loved best
Surrounded by the things you loved the most
Things you are great at
And, now, I can't look at you doing it
Creating shows and productions
Like at homecoming or at prom
Because it breaks my heart again and again
To know I can't stand in your garage and see you create
*Magic