I cooked for you
Just things
That you
Like

Unfortunately
I'm good
At
It

You would rather
Eat my food
Than
Kiss my lips

Some
Days
I
Wonder

I like
the sound of your laugh
and how it takes away
all the anguish of my soul
for a little while.

I like
the way you look into my eyes
even though you know
i get self conscious

I like
the way you try to make it up to me
when you push my limits
a little too far
even though i forgave you a while ago

I like
how you make me feel-
all jittery and shy
like a young girl
pretending she knows what love is

but

in the back of my mind
i can see his smile
and the way he runs his hand
through his hair.

in the back of my mind
i can see his excitement
as he shares stories with me
about his favourite things.

In the back of my mind
and late at night
i wonder how is it possible to love
two persons
with two very different personalities
at the same time.

are you still mine?
are we gonna be okay?

There's something so sick about
        this emotional capacity

Before breakfast we plant atomic bombs in our neighbors yard
                                                            ­   like bulbs of (glad)iolus
Haven't you noticed how much gardens look like graveyards

My cereal, ceiling, bathroom, and skin
        All say Made in China
This homeland is looking more like that land
Ughhh and you can see the blood in my pink nail polish from that sweat shop girl
It's not supposed to be RED!

ooOooopps did we just learn how to commercialize genocide
I'm wondering when I'll wake up with a barcode
Will it be on my eyelids
             my arms                                           my soul

Maybe God was in the bees
And now
Now there's no more honey, flowers, or trees
  
                       Just time.

My brothers both went to war
It's not Wal-Mart
But it's open 24/7, checkout through Heaven
And I don't think they're coming home

Not without bones implanted in their brains
sharp, jagged, broken ones
That kind that make you uncomfortable with your memories
The one's that make it hard to sleep

Last week I found a dead cat
  A dead bird in the snow
When I turned around the corner, I saw myself

I was lying in the street
          Dead, dead
And I felt nothing

We could have been better- if you chose me than her.
We could have been stronger- if you chose to hold on.
We could have been happier- if you loved me forever.

But,

You had the best.

i've reverted back to the days when
i held a permanent position
in between the arms of an
ugly, paisley patterned easy chair.

i played a game of hide and seek--
hiding from feelings, sought only by others
to prove that i had some semblance of humanity
lurking behind my blank eyes.

those days were dark, angry
as they ate me up, gathering every drop
of my existence like a sponge

fast forward: i'm far away and
mom says the chair is gone.
what should have felt like anguish
feels like nothing.

all the feelings are in the chair
like coins hidden in the couch cushions,
gone before we recognized their existence.

i've reverted back to the days when
i held a permanent position
in between the arms of an
ugly, paisley patterned easy chair,

but now the chair is gone
and i am left to soak up the feelings.

Don't invest your time in people
Invest your time in God

Most people are a waste
Only around for your good taste

You tell them lets elevate
they rather sit around and wait

So much on there plate
But with the drama
There're  never late

Don't let them take you out of your zone
When your dreaming at night
Remember your alone

Lynn Browning ©