My life is such that
Had I heard the voice
From a burning bush,
I am sure I would not
Have liked what it said.
I would have been ready
With lengthy arguments
Of science and history
And philosophy instead.

If some white stuff fell
From the sky above me
I would accept the reality
That it was global warming
A miraculous warning
Even the evangelicals
Would not find equivocal
As it fit both categories;
Both scientific and glory.

The parting of the sea?
Maybe a big conglomerate
One more time yet that
They made a decision
To make an incision
In the scenery and jam
Into place a lucrative dam.
Not such a big miracle to
Render atheists miserable.

I understand the loaves
And the miracle of fishes
But, I have seen some
Of McDonald’s dishes
And sacks full of food
Brewed and cooked
From nothing much
And they don't much look
Like the animaLs they are
Supposed to be from.
I’m not that dumb.

A song of mad men, many bad men
Sung to sad men, to remind or warn
That trusting can be dangerous to you
Because, sometimes, Goliath gets shorn.
We have to pay attention to our heroes
If they are zeroes we can be misled
Thinking they were something good
With nothing good inside their heads.

It’s amazing how many villains exist
And are powerless to resist being bad;
Who’ll rob  you and cheat you, and love
To really enjoy the pain you have had.
They roam like packs of wolves prowl
And will tear you up if they only could.
So, it’s good to remain ever vigilant
And not be the baby lost in the wood.

They’ve taken over our government
Despite what the mad men have said
And with their total lack of sentiment
It’s like the night of the living dead.
The people who could stop it did not.
It happened quick, while we were asleep
Now we’re stuck with what they’ve brought
We fallen  from the top of the moral heap.

So this is a sad song, of what once was
And what it seems it’s soon to become.
Many citizens were rebels without a cause
And most of those were terminally dumb.
They believed change would be good
When we were doing especially well
Now those deluded heads of solid wood
Have created for us all a scary kind of hell.

The Dufus Oompaloompa in Chief
Is nothing but a high-level thief.
He constantly lies and all he tries
Is a rich man’s version of relief.
He’s another rich guy on welfare.
He uses every ***** trick he can use
You see his crooked face everywhere;
He keeps his ugly mug in the news.

His morality is virtually nonexistent
He’s never been a commendable fellow.
And because he is truth-resistant
He’s a braggart, a liar and he’s yellow.
His life has been a study in selfishness,
He’s been a *******, a predator and crook.
His biography is an unreal literary mess.
As he has never liked going by the book.

Listening to him speak you can see
He is lying with almost every word.
He can’t interact with anyone honestly
You can’t believe a single word you heard.
Inside his head must be something like
A painting by Bosch or Salvatore Dali
Even if his head ends up on a pike
He’ll still be as bright as a collie!

We’ll steal their pensions and their land
Won’t that be amazing and grand?
And there’s not a stinking thing they can do.
We’ll blame it all on the opposition
Then take an outraged position.
They’ll elect our congress and governors too.

USA, USA
How many brown people
Did you **** today?
GOP, GOP
Which of your promises
Did you break today?

We’ll concoct a bunch of lies
And convince all the unwise
That everything we say is the truth.
We’ll fool the older Republicans
And win some undecided fans
Everything but the clever and the youth.

In no time at all, we’ll succeed
And underscored with greed
We’ll take this gullible country back.
The Democrats will help us to
Do everything we plan to do
Because the dummies chose to elect a black.

USA, USA
How many brown people
Did you **** today?
GOP, GOP
Which of your promises
Did you break today?

Our war against intelligence
Is really making a difference
In getting voters to not smell a rat.
The richest civilians are helping
With the lobbyists they’re buying
And we gratefully tip our MAGA hat.

They are letting us make laws
That defy any philanthropic cause
Except when we get our hefty share.
We deny them their health and aid
And needn’t be the least bit afraid
Republicans will ever become aware.

USA, USA
How many brown people
Did you **** today?
GOP, GOP
Which of your promises
Did you break today?

Gooder and Badder
Bedder and fadder
What are Americans saying?
Boddle of wadder
Mudder and fodder
What is this game we are playing?

Funner and betterer,
Pitcher and ledder
They expect folks to unnerstan
Gimmes and wannabes
Mundees though Sundees
A hunnert and ten grand.

Gooder and Badder
Bedder and fadder
What are Americans saying?

Reedikullis and eeleegull
Furrin kinds of peepul
Should learn American English
Even when it’s ignernt,
And sounds  a bit differnt,
A definite ***** to distinguish.

Boddle of wadder
Mudder and fodder
What is this game we are playing?

Inneresting innerlopers
Drunky ***** goat ropers
That’s what they think strangers are.
Our dippy high schoo dropouts
Don’t care what education’s about
And only care about today’s sports stars.

Gooder and Badder
Bedder and fadder
What are Americans saying?
Boddle of wadder
Mudder and fodder
What is this game we are playing?

(This is by no means an attempt at poetry. It is, instead, a piece of satire.)

Making Adultery Great  Again
Make America Groan Aloud
Making Americans Greedy *******
Male American Grandiosity Association
Many Americans Grabbing *****
Mediocrity Actually Grows Annually
Men Acting Grossly Asinine
Masculinity And Grossness Amalgamated

Meanness And Greed Acceptability
Megalomaniacs Abrogating Government Accountability
Mostly ******* Getting Aggressive
Masking All Government Aggression
Miserable Atrocious GOP *****
Mad Animals Getting Angry
Making America Grow Antisocial.
Misanthropic Association Gutting America

Mistaking Accuracy, Growing Artless
Misery Accompanies GOP Analyses.
Misquoting Anybody Gains Approval.
Misspelling Anything Good Anytime.
Magic Ain’t Gonna Appear
Maybe All GOP Avoid
Meanness And Gouging Anytime
Money And Greed Always

I’m waddling around with wattles.
Nothing in a bottle will change that.
Not buying a better looking hat
Or a brighter, tighter shirt.
My childhood left in the dirt,
I’m an old man! I do what I can
To not look like a wino under a bridge;
A smidge of aftershave so I don’t stink
And people don’t think I’m decaying.

What I’m saying is, I’m getting old.
Graying smudges among the gold.
This is me. This is what I see daily
When I glance gaily into my mirror
Expecting the guy as young as I feel.
He isn’t real. An old guy sneaked in
Again, and I wish I hadn’t peeked.
Oh well, this isn’t really hell.
I have never thought I was hot,
One of those handsome lads that had
Everyone’s heads turning for them.

I had dim hope there for a while
But, no matter how much I smile
Nothing wins like smooth skin
Broad shoulders and big pecs.
I mean, I was not a wreck, but not
As I said, even a little bit hot.
Oh well, I got what I got, true?
Can I or you ever defeat genetics?
Like father like son, and mother,
Creates another generation of us;
Nice guys and gals, but plain,
And this old man is what remains.