if this is what emotions are
hot water pounding down on my skin
the taste of stale alcohol trying to create some essence
of numbness
the words of music so loud in an attempt to drown out
the ache that my heart brings with each beat
I don’t want it
I don’t want any part of it

Tell me to leave.
Make me leave you.
I’m too selfish to relinquish solace and go myself,
and too weak to watch you walk away from me.
Our light has turned into a shadow,
grown dark and heavy
It has cast itself over our heads,
slowly resting more and more of its weight
on our shoulders
Too many nights
the moon and stars have become witnesses to
the dimming of your brilliant glow, and the flickering
of my dying spark
Night after night,
helplessly watching us make our
desperate attempts
to rid ourselves of the burdens we’ve been
carrying on our backs.
I know you don’t want to
but, baby, our light is
fading fast
And it needs to breathe,
but we’re both too busy
holding our breath to even think about
coming up for air
So, baby, unless we do something
quick,
we’re gonna burn out.
So tell me to leave.
Because I won’t do it
unless you ask me to
And I could never tell
you to go
But if we stay any longer,
our troubles will become
a load far
too heavy for our cold bones to bear
we’ll shrivel in the frigid
air
Tell me to leave.
We’re all out of
quick fixes,
and neither of us have the right
tools needed for
a full repair.
Don’t, and we’ll start to ignore
our problems
like they are broken pieces
of furniture
Until we are lying
to ourselves, pretending that
we still work
and hoping our guests
don’t notice.
Our fire which once
burned
so bright and fervently
will have become as useless
as a gasless heater
I know you don’t want to
but, baby, you’re stronger than me
The fire is out
It’s dark
and we don’t have
any flashlights, because we never
needed them to help us see
Until now
So tell me to leave you.
Please, tell me.
Because we love each other
too much
for our own good
Make me leave you.
Our light has burned out,
and we’re choking on the smoke

I can't tell you what it's like to feel like dying.
I can't tell you how I'm so afraid of death but I play with it like its a childhood friend.
I can't tell you what it's like to cry yourself to sleep for the 47th night in a row.
I can't tell you how I feel when I wake up screaming in the middle of the night.
I can't tell you, but I can show you.
I can show you what it's like to feel like dying in my playful smile and dull eyes.
I can show you what it's like to be afraid of death but play with it because I have scars on my body but I refuse to go to a funeral.
I can show you what it's like to cry yourself to sleep for 47 nights in a row by my blood shot eyes and bags underneath with tear stains covering my pillow.
And I can show you how It feels to wake up in the middle of the night screaming by the empty Xanax bottle in the bottom of my purse.
I can't always tell you the things that are going through my mind, but you can't say that I never showed you.

He used to walk with life in his stride
He used to strut with a heart full of pride

These days see him stumbling every so often
These days see his eyes vacant and sullen

So I asked if there was anything bothering him
So I asked what is it that made his light so dim

He tarried, then answered with conviction true
He tarried before he finally answered, *"You..."