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 Mar 2015 Blaise Tyler Beach
amc
it's happening again,
that monster is creeping up again.
it never really goes away...
i can try my hardest but it's never possible to outrun who you are..
                                                                                                           not really.
i can be a good girl,
the best there ever was.
the beast can be tamed, it is a proven fact.
it has happened before, it will probably happen again..
                                                               but it isn't right now. not even close.
i have been set free.
it wasn't what i wanted,
but it happened anyways.
                                                                                         and now here i am
too long without the feeling..
the excitement of knowing in that moment they have never
                                                                                      wanted anything more
than they want you right then. right there.
                                       to be touched, to be kissed, to be needed.

my demons refuse to be drowned,
                                                                      they have learned how to swim.
and they are hungry.....

I am feeling like myself.
I am not sure that is a good thing.
I will find a way to get what I want.
I will not care who I hurt getting it.
I am back to myself.
And I want to be touched again.
We live in a world of high speed wreckage, so much so that I fear our youth
Have been desensitized to the sight of death and destruction; It's only a
Few clicks away with our media addiction but, that's not what I'm here to
Talk with you about today. No, I think it's time we take a 3 minute break
Of high-speed mentality, to break free of swift reality if only for a moment.
Speaking of moments, I need everybody to close their eyes for a time. No, seriously, close them.
I want to tell you a story that sight cannot settle, no semblance of reality, for
Some things are meant for eyes, others for ears, still yet others are meant
For the mind. For the soul. Let us sail on a ship of sound, a journey, collectively.
Now sit still, and listen.

So what is it we percieve behind eyelids shut tight? Before we fall asleep at night?
On one hand, it is nothingness; no light to comfort us, such a solemn black.
I guess I can't speak for you but, at times I get sad before I sleep. I think back to
Every promise someone didn't keep, all the words I was too scared to speak; or
the whispers my lovers' lips never returned, like "I love you". In short, I
Was lonely. There is something in the act of cutting off sight that leaves me
With a crippling sensation of isolation. But something tells me I'm not the only one
All-too familiar with this sense of suffocation. Somehow I feel as though this is
Shared not only with you, but with the person sitting next to you, and beside them too.
But, I'm not here to depress you, and so let me share some words I once wrote with you;

Lost souls
Drink ink.
But only wither,
With the weather.
Like roses,
Red-
And dead.
But they're beautiful,
You know.

You see, it was a poem I had written around the age of sixteen, and I didn't really get it then but,
"But they're beautiful, you know" was a seed of thought that blossomed in the next few years;
The thought that sometimes the broken things are the most beautiful for they are perfect in the story
That they tell. The story of imperfection; of affection; of sweet affliction; whatever words you
Deem worthy of describing our time here on Earth. Put simply; we are stupid, pointless, silly, exquisite humanity.
Like shattered glass, we can never be what we once were but only arrange ourselves into a magnificent stainglass window,
Allowing the sunlight of our lives to paint a picture of whatever unique self-disciplined blessings we choose to give
And when the sun starts to set, allow me to remind you of this; being along has never hindered the beauty of a sunset over a meadow,
Visible by standing in the treeline on top of a gently rolling hill. And so I dare you, I dare you to live alone, yet married
To the aesthetics of one eye, instead of two. I dare you
to fall in love
with you.

If you haven't already, you can open your eyes now. Our break is coming to a close; soon we'll be back to tweets on twitter
Instead of outside our windows before the sun rises each morning. But after I'm done speaking I hope you can take something with you.
Specifically, the next time you feel like crying yourself to sleep at night; remember this poem. If not in it's entirety, remember just this;
You are stupid, pointless, silly, exquisite humanity and there is not one bone in your body that is not broken or incomparably beautiful.
Know that somewhere I'm out there, hoping that you drift with a smile into sleep.
Hey guys! This is a slam piece I just finished. I plan on performing it at a slam on thursday, so critiques/insights would be REALLY appreciated. Thanks so much!
Your unpursed lips
Slam against mine
Flattening them
Holding them still
While the rest of us
Moves too fast
I breathe in your scent
Of nicotine and Jack
Quickly
When your strong hands
Suddenly pull
My jeans down my thighs
My own hands drag your sweatshirt
Over your head
And your hands are the only thing covering me
Everywhere
At once
With motions I'm unaware of
You guide me to
The pristine white comforter
Thrown on when I heard your knock
You toss it back
Revealing the mess underneath
And without a second thought
You dive right in
Pulling me with you

I had no idea
What I was getting into

And I'm still sleeping in the same sheets
Unclean
From our sleepless night
The used comforter
Crumpled up
At the end of the bed
Mirroring the curled up corpse
Of what you have left of me
You were so perfect. And then so not. And I loved every bit of you. Except the other six girls you loved too.
If I was beautiful
And rich
And my family had a rivalry
With another family in town
I’d definitely fall in love
With one of their kids
And sneak out at night to see him
And he’d crawl in my bed
And we’d fool around
Hoping my parents
Wouldn’t find out
We’d try and run off together
Be free from our parents
And all their expectations
Who would care if we’re young?
We’d be in love
And that’s all that would matter
Right?
So we’d get married
Behind our families’ backs
And come up with some elaborate
Out-of-proportion plan
To run away together
Like they wouldn’t be able to find us
So I'd pretend to die
But Shakespeare’d **** me over
And my man would just play dead
Only for me to really die
So that he could continue
Winning the heart
Of every poor innocent girl
He'd meet
So much for star-crossed lovers
But me
I'm just seeing stars
I’ll never call lucky
And I won’t be thanking
I swear from now on, I'll be Shakespeare's, not my own, cuz I'm sick of this ****
I wish you’d kiss away my tears
Wish you’d open my lips
The way you have
Every intricate part of me
And steal your name
Right off my lips
Right out of my mouth
Until all thats left of me
Is this drunken desire
To drink to forget
Your
Name
"Pick me. Choose me. Love me."
Puzzle pieces
Fit in boxes
That sit on shelves
And gather dust
Like the brown rust
On playground swings
That sticks to the hands
Of tiny children
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