I wonder
If you'd answer
If I called

I've breathed you in a thousand times
But I cannot exhale you

You're like hot glue in my throat
You give me third degree burns
But I can't escape you

Leave me alone
I hate you  

Go away
*I hate you

you were made for me
but I was not made for you

I still haven't
managed to
say your name
out loud

He wallowed in his own filth of existence
All while realizing he was going to hell

Lucifer had already began to squeeze the life out of him
Both hands wrapped so tightly around his neck, simply daring him to scream for help

The devil gorged his legs open and drained every ounce of blood he had in him

The light died from his eyes as he sank to the floor
...oh so limp...
And his soul was already in hell
But it was too late for redemption

I do nothing special
except exist

This morning, a little girl sat with me on the bus with her eleven year old eyes, creased
Her hair was not the color of the sun, it was the color of wheat, thrown into a quick ponytail

She did not smell lovely, as a girl should
She smelled stale of:
Morning breath, alcohol, old clothes

And I couldn't help but to think what her mother and father did as she got ready for school today

I remembered at five I had no father to help me dress and my mother was at work for too many hours to count and my babysitter danced on a pole at midnight
She did not want to wake in the mornings

I remembered at seven I had no father to help me dress and my mother was at work for too many hours to count and my babysitter put her fingers in holes they didn't belong
She did not pay for it

I remembered at eight I had no father to help me dress and my mother was sad for too many hours to count and I had no babysitter, as I had no house

I remembered that summer I had a father to help me dress and my mother was always at home and I had no babysitter because I had a mother and father

I remembered at fifteen I didn't need a father to help me dress nor a mother all I needed was drugs and alcohol and the courage to take my own life, and I tried

I remembered at almost seventeen I didn't need a father to help me dress nor a mother, what I needed was saving
And they tried like hell, but inevitably I am a lost cause

Oh god, I hope like hell her mother and father were just running a bit late this morning

But for me you were the sun and the moon and all the stars in between. You were the excited emotions I felt when i reached the ****** in a book and every mixed emotion I felt at the end of a book.

You were the christmas lights hung in my room and the pillows I weep on at night. You were the street lamps that lit my way in the cold dark. You were every tear I've ever witnessed shed in the moonlight.

You were the dark winter nights and every poem I've ever managed to have written. You were all the laughter in all the world and all the make-up *** ever had. You were the ocean's salt in my eyes and the sweet sand under my feet.

You were every cigarette I'd ever smoked into my lungs and all the **** that's ever wrapped around my throat and dared to choke the life out of me. You were all the self conflicted cuts etched into my skin every sad and lonely night.

You were the word 'love' written in scarlet letters across my forehead. You were every battle I've ever fought and every chance of victory I've ever gotten. You were hope and confidence and all the self esteem I could muster up into my single being.

You were the crumpled pieces of me lying on the floor lulling my own heart to no longer beat. You were the change in me and all the happiness I had began to see.

And now you're just gone.