You shame me in public
You think it's funny
It's not funny
You remind me of a child reaching for the candy on the top shelf
You'll never reach it so you call out for help
And this makes me angry
Because if I don't help you, you shame me
All I can ever think about is all the times that you have played me
You can't keep a woman for ****
You can't hold down ****
You leave her the responsibilities even if she's going through it
I feel sorry for the next woman you end up with

Go to bed little child your days have come
To be the adult you’ve wanted to be since you were young
Didn’t mama tell you that your hair is a mess?
Maybe that it why she never got you that dress
Anyways young child please go home
You need to sleep. Your days have come.

The trick to writing is to write whatever and whenever

Bless the world with your beauty
The world will bless you with it's love
The world will take care of you
The world will help you
You must help the world

They look like love they feel like love
In reality they are not what we want
They are not what we need
We thought that they were our everything
Not everyone can stay and not everyone will leave
Anything done by force can ruin what's in store for you from the universe

Look at the smile on that woman's face
Look at her shoes
Feel her warm embrace
Watch her laugh
Hear her sing
This woman right here is everything

There is a fire that dances in my chest
Holding on to my heart it knows you best
Everything I do is for you and for my son
I want to see us win
It feels like we won
You are always with me no matter what
I get up and I fight for you and for my baby
I get up and repeat this on a daily
You are the sweetest and you are the coolest I wish that things could have been different with you and your world
I introduced you to mine and you adored it but decided it otherwise
I remember thinking I wasn't good enough to save you but that wasn't the case
The poison was just so deep in your veins that you couldn't help but let it stay because the moment you tried to release it, you got sicker and weaker
Your world depended on it and I had to stay away but that is the game of life we can choose to leave or to stay

I made the biggest mistake of my life more than twice
This is clearly not okay yet all I do is cry
I get confused by the things that I like
I pretend that I am doing just fine
When in reality nothing is right

What my family doesn't know is that I love photography and videography
I'm a painter, a poet, and I love to dance
They are unaware of how well I can sing and how much I love making music
They sigh at my presence as if I'm the one who murdered someone
As if I am the one who walked out when times got hard
They look at me and think "how broken."
I just wish they could see the light on the other side
It's okay to just be and thrive
It's okay to live a free life
They will never understand what it's like to crave true freedom
I will never get these years back from trying to please them
I will have to move forward into the blue
Where the sun shines on the horizon and the mountains kiss the stars
Where the sand gets stuck in every crevice
Where my hair seems to wash itself
And the wind gives a natural blowout
What a blessing it is to be alive
To feel this good again before I die
My family will never know my secret
It's true freedom that keeps me breathing

Your words they slip right out of my hand
Your lips they kiss but it's so sad
You don't want me
No longer need me
When we're together it's like you don't believe me
How can I trust someone who won't trust me
How could I breathe when the answers are so hard to see

Trying to eat normally
That is what the girl in my medical class said
She also said that she was going to quit
She didn't
She didn't quit
She is still here
So is the other girl who said she was going back home
You look dumb
It shouldn't matter to you bu you look dumb
It matters to me because women should be free
Women should do as they say
Women should not stray away
From responsibility
And when times are grey

can you see me?
I am still here
I walk with a limp but I am still here
my eye has a twitch but I am still here
I can feel the heat on the face
I can feel the blades of grass between my soft hands
I can smell the dirt
I am unstructured
But I am here

You are my home and everything inside of you is so amazing it is so beautiful
Your hair is so golden so thin and so soft
Your eyes are a deep soft blue pulling me into your world that no one else has got to experience
I got the chance to have you and I know that we may not be together forever but what I do know is, is that I want your kids I want your soft hands on me too
I want your love
I want you boo

four seasons to go through.
four children to care for.
four figures a year
wendy's 4 for 4

I write I write about my life
You write you write  about your nights
Out and about and partying
While I live in my room vibing
Just alone and at peace thinking of you
You're my man and I put my trust in you
I'll never fear a day again as long as I have you in my head

What happened to all of the hard work that needs to be done in order to achieve success?
Now days all people have to do is get undressed
In front of the flickering light
There is no longer a fight
It's an "oh-well, if I can not live with you, I'll just put my toe pics up for sell." But where do those buyers get their money??
They all have "secure" families so in the end it isn't so funny
Someone's dad, someone's husband is giving one hundred dollar bills by the dozen
Does this not frighten any of you?
The women who want to live off of a man?
At least the toe pic girl is hustling
When are you going to give a ****??

If my life is meant to write poems and songs then let it be
I can't be wrong
I love to do many things that excite me
I love to do things that are bad
I love to do great things and
I only want what I never had
peace and love are for me
Poems and songs set me free
From all the bad things that they all left for me

I'm not human, I was built more beautifully
The arrogance the confidence the stability
It is all we want it is what we all need

We remember the best souls when they are long gone
We remember how they smiled and the sound of their laugh
Their scent
We remember the way we felt around them
We remember
We don't want it back we simply remember

It doesn't make sense to eat whack ***, white cake and celebrations and birthday parties
Don't date within the group, it almost always never works out and the all of the friendships end
Why do you go for the girl when you only want to keep her at home?
It makes 0 sense

I don't like how my face changes when I am in love
You would think that it would look as if it's full of stars
Filled with the shine of the moon
Filled with the summer breeze in June
Nothing will ever make me fully love you
How can I change so much
How can my body change so much so that I don't recognize me
Why would you ever lie and say that you ever wanted me
I feel like leaving but my heart says stay
I don't know where to go but I can't rely on you to pave the way
I can't even see myself when I look in the mirror
I can't even hear myself when you are near
I hope I get the chance to ask myself, "What was I doing here?"

Should I apologize for hurting you?
The truth
I hurt you first
You hurt me first
I did not communicate it so you never knew
I felt as if you were fake but then you fought
That is what made you worthy
You stayed and that is what made you worthy
You are gone now
You are still worthy in my eyes

Getting the urge to write again
Not online but with a journal and pen
There's something about the feeling it brings
When you can just let out everything

The **** that I have to say to you will never come out right so I have to write
I can not cry
I can not even sing
There is no room to dance otherwise I'd be doing that
So I write
I’ll write tomorrow
I write tonight
I write for you
I write at you

When is the last time you wrote something?
Was it when you felt good?
Was it when everything seemed great?
Was it when you had a lot of food on your plate?
Or none at all?
What sparks your writer's bone?

Do you guys prefer writing with a pen and paper or would you rather type your poems?

You are so jealous it's sad
You take the best idea of hers and make it your own
You make everyone around you feel great
Because you would do anything to keep a smile on their face
It is not necessarily a bad thing
It isn't a great thing either
See you bribe them into believing that you are superior
You make them fall in love with your so called kind heart
But in reality you just do not want to be left in the dark
No one really likes you and no one really cares
But when it comes down to it
You'd say you're being fair

When the brain no longer hums, you have won
When the tears no longer swell, you have won
When the flesh no longer bounds you to Earth, you have won
Your soul speaks so kindly
It is beautiful
You knew that the physical could not hold you down
You are so much more than flesh and bones
You are here, you are home

Who are your friends?
That is who you are
Who do you want to be in your life?
Who do you want to stand up and fight
For you?
For what you believe in
Who can you rely on when you are grieving ?
Ask yourself who is there for you when you can not bend over and tie your own shoe
Ask who feeds you when there is no food on the shelf
When there is no shelf
When there is no bed
When there is no ceiling above your head when you are sleeping at night
Who is there to hold you tight?

I have much to say but little courage
To get out the bed and write
I have curled up in fetal position
I have sweated all night
I asked to be saved and He did just that
I didn't think you'd be gone though
I didn't do the math
You showed me love
You showed me care
The very least I could've done was be there
I am so sorry that life turned out this way
I am so sorry about this life, love.
You deserved so much more

Quit staring at me is how I feel
Look the other way
I honestly keep seeing you look my way and when I look up you look away
I do not know if it's envy
I do not know if it is jealousy
I do not know if you are scared of me
All I know is I want to breathe
I can not do that normally
As long as you keep staring at me
Let me be