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sometimes i regret almost,
most things,
most thoughts
and,
most actions,

but,
my feelings,
are what I regret,
more than anything,
else in the world,

and,
sorry I can't,
fix the damage,
I've done,

to you,
others,
and,
to myself.
an old poem
XI. TO ATHENA (5 lines)

(ll. 1-4) Of Pallas Athene, guardian of the city, I begin to
sing.  Dread is she, and with Ares she loves deeds of war, the
sack of cities and the shouting and the battle.  It is she who
saves the people as they go out to war and come back.

(l. 5) Hail, goddess, and give us good fortune with happiness!
I know what you feel can tear you apart,
You ask why you deserve this broken heart.
Looking in a deeper lens,
Out of sight from the present tense,
I know there's a Truth, I've been there, too,
For why I've been forced to live so dark & blue.

Nothing in Life comes with certainty.
There's always an unfair Mystery -
And amidst the mists of misery
Of my darkest, coldest history,
There are lessons that become revealed to me.
So, now can I see the positivity.

The pain & sorrow, the feeling hollow -
How can I be blessed with this mess?
I asked myself this - Is there something I missed?
It didn't make sense. Every time I ask "why?" -
The pain becomes more immense.

But I was strong; I had to be.
I lived happily, like Momma wanted me.
Carrying on, singing my song,
My melody shaped by her Memory.
She lived on through me. Indefinitely.

Now, I look back, the pain, it lasts,
But my confusion, my rage,
"How could He take her away?" --
Easily, now, it's removed.
There are things that begin to make sense.
I've been shaped by Life Events.
The bad times were necessary.
They taught the most to me.

My regrets taught me Lessons I need.
Maybe for this Life, for the next, or maybe indeed,
For the Universe, on yet another lens.
Yet again, out of sight
From the present tense.
Written for a friend of a friend.
She relayed the message she wanted to send to him to me, and I put them into a poem.
Dealing with the difficulties of death.
 Sep 2015 Bhargabi Dei Mahakul
PG
Water ebbs and flows like the gentle breeze
Tourists lounge in chairs, watching with practiced ease
Bright blue skies dotted with clouds roll by
*** in hand, I sit and let out a contented sigh

Flashing back to the times of years long past
When wiffleball, sleepovers, and cookouts trended; not the latest reality cast
When movies, delivered pizza , and cake felt like the perfect day
And no one obsessed  over what social media had to say

Let’s bring back the joy of those  pure summer days
With nothing to do but let them pass in a daze
A fog over my mind, past worries but a whisper
Looking forward to good memories  with my brother and sister

Whether school-age or not, what a great time of year
Visits await with friends and relatives; vacation is drawing near
Take a moment just to savor it and let that feeling stay
For life will roll in like the tide and try to take it all away.
I know it's almost Labor Day, but just recently got the writing bug again.
Want to be Happy?
Forgiveness makes freedom yours
And opens those doors

To truth, peace and love
a pathway you will treasure
Joy beyond measure

And all who know this
Know forgiveness comes from love
It can't be ignored

The truth yours at last
That love comes from Christ Jesus
All you do is ask
I John 4:8  God is Love
’Tis evening; the black snail has got on his track,
And gone to its nest is the wren,
And the packman snail, too, with his home on his back,
Clings to the bowed bents like a wen.

The shepherd has made a rude mark with his foot
Where his shadow reached when he first came,
And it just touched the tree where his secret love cut
Two letters that stand for love’s name.

The evening comes in with the wishes of love,
And the shepherd he looks on the flowers,
And thinks who would praise the soft song of the dove,
And meet joy in these dew-falling hours.

For Nature is love, and finds haunts for true love,
Where nothing can hear or intrude;
It hides from the eagle and joins with the dove,
In beautiful green solitude.
I've had time
to look around
at all the folks I've met

Searching for the perfect
And I haven't found one
like
me
yet
Nobody's Perfect.....
Life is just unfair
I've always known that
First you lost your hair
Then you left too fast

You were **** strong
But still it wasn't enough
Anyway it couldn't last long
I know we never survive that stuff

I'll forever think you were too young
To leave us here with a fragile memory
You'll never see my sister have a son
Or assist to her wedding ceremony

I won't share anything more with you
Because of that stupid cancer
Grandma you know I love you
Yet I should have told you before
'Tis noon. At noon the Hebrew bowed the knee
And worshipped, while the husbandmen withdrew
From the scorched field, and the wayfaring man
Grew faint, and turned aside by bubbling fount,
Or rested in the shadow of the palm.

  I, too, amid the overflow of day,
Behold the power which wields and cherishes
The frame of Nature. From this brow of rock
That overlooks the Hudson's western marge,
I gaze upon the long array of groves,
The piles and gulfs of verdure drinking in
The grateful heats. They love the fiery sun;
Their broadening leaves grow glossier, and their sprays
Climb as he looks upon them. In the midst,
The swelling river, into his green gulfs,
Unshadowed save by passing sails above,
Takes the redundant glory, and enjoys
The summer in his chilly bed. Coy flowers,
That would not open in the early light,
Push back their plaited sheaths. The rivulet's pool,
That darkly quivered all the morning long
In the cool shade, now glimmers in the sun;
And o'er its surface shoots, and shoots again,
The glittering dragon-fly, and deep within
Run the brown water-beetles to and fro.

  A silence, the brief sabbath of an hour,
Reigns o'er the fields; the laborer sits within
His dwelling; he has left his steers awhile,
Unyoked, to bite the herbage, and his dog
Sleeps stretched beside the door-stone in the shade.
Now the grey marmot, with uplifted paws,
No more sits listening by his den, but steals
Abroad, in safety, to the clover field,
And crops its juicy blossoms. All the while
A ceaseless murmur from the populous town
Swells o'er these solitudes: a mingled sound
Of jarring wheels, and iron hoofs that clash
Upon the stony ways, and hammer-clang,
And creak of engines lifting ponderous bulks,
And calls and cries, and tread of eager feet,
Innumerable, hurrying to and fro.
Noon, in that mighty mart of nations, brings
No pause to toil and care. With early day
Began the tumult, and shall only cease
When midnight, hushing one by one the sounds
Of bustle, gathers the tired brood to rest.

  Thus, in this feverish time, when love of gain
And luxury possess the hearts of men,
Thus is it with the noon of human life.
We, in our fervid manhood, in our strength
Of reason, we, with hurry, noise, and care,
Plan, toil, and strife, and pause not to refresh
Our spirits with the calm and beautiful
Of God's harmonious universe, that won
Our youthful wonder; pause not to inquire
Why we are here; and what the reverence
Man owes to man, and what the mystery
That links us to the greater world, beside
Whose borders we but hover for a space.
Awe
A winters stare,
Beautifully resonates in the air,
A clear sky, a frozen pitch,
I wonder if the beauty,
will last more than a few minutes,


The snapping of a twig,
which was once part of the untouched view,
A graceful swan as muted as I am in awe,

Gliding by,


Looking over by the hill,
The mist breathing through the grass,
as I pause once more,
The grandest of oaks, silhouetted by the rising sun,
Grips me to the core,


Only in England…


Say no more.
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