Submit your work, meet writers and drop the ads. Become a member
 Oct 2015 Aylin Soto-Aleman
Kripi
I spend too much time thinking about
Who you are supposed to be
You are like the air I breathe
Oh what you have done to me

Your eyes and smile
The best they shine
Wait a while
They make me ask*
Will you be mine?
You don't believe me when I say you're the most handsome man I've ever laid eyes on,
And I don't believe you when you tell me I'm the most beautiful girl you'll ever love.

My hair is black and blue
Like a bruise
Or my heart.
And my ex's name tastes like the ether she's been sniffing to get my name out of the creases of her favorite sweater.

The cigarettes I smoke,
They smell like the toast I will inevitably burn in a couple of years while I'm making your breakfast before work.
And some days I look at photos of the ocean
Just to see if I can find the same blue that's in your eyes.

And I know it may not count for much, but when her and I used to joke that blue was the color of love, she always thought of her own eyes while my head was flooded with longing for yours.

I was coming down from a two week binge the day you found me again.
I spent a week thinking I was just imagining things. I spent the following week trying to tell myself that you'd never be mine again.

Two years ago, you left me in a puddle of fear and apathy
With the bitterness of every single "I love you" still in my mouth
And when I spit, it was like venom.
I always told myself that I'd never be in love again.
For two years and three days, I was right.
But here I am, two years and four months later, head-over-heels in love with the boy who made my heart sing with his voice and my soul drown in his ocean blue eyes.
 Oct 2015 Aylin Soto-Aleman
Neex
To have your hopes smothered,
Stuck in this ****** isolation,
I see no light.

I might never recover,
Never thought I’d get this far,
Deep in this retched sea,
And I might never learn to swim.

Whatever confidence I had left,
Is fading with myself.

My self-esteem,
It’s non-existent,
My heart and happiness as well.

I’m hurting deeply,
Fading quickly,
Living fatally,
Faking emotions,
Drowning painfully,
Hanging on,
**To nothing.
I don't understand anything anymore.
god made stars
for starving poets

when they look up
they forget
how hungry they are

    ~mce
i don't watch home movies
hate them
reason being because
when i was young
i was looking for a movie
my mother
had recorded for me
and accidentally
put one in the vcr
that i'm not sure
i was supposed to see
i know the obvious response
"uh oh, ****"
sorry to disappoint
they were only marked with dates
  1991
on live television
montel williams asks my father
"how can you just throw
your child away like a piece of trash?"

   1994
i spend so much time
in the emergency room
that my parents stop
penciling in growth marks
on the frame
of my bedroom door
i always thought
it was because they believed
i would never grow out
of this sickness
sometimes i believe
the reason that they
never bought me a dream catcher
was because they never thought
i'd live long enough
to see them come true
   1996
i am eliminated
from a spelling bee
because i didn't know
the 'dad' is silent in 'family'
   2013
before i got into poetry
i used to do standup
none of my jokes were funny
one of the other comics
tells me my skits are dry
sometimes sad
he says "why don't you joke
about something like your family?"

so i say
"i never wore any sunblock
because i didn't want anything
to keep me from my father"

i say "what do you call christmas
without lights or heat?"

before he has a chance
to answer
i say "1997. better yet
why don't you
make like a dad and
leave"

   2014
every time we drive
past the hospital
my mother reminds me
how much it cost to save my life
like she'd rather
have her money back
she doesn't have to say
that sometimes she wishes
it was me who had died
instead of my brother
i can hear it in the way
she says "love you"
sometimes i imagine
that if i were to die
that she
would pick out a casket for a child
because she never loved
the person i became
yesterday i told my father
how close i'd been
to suicide lately
and he said
"that's my boy,
livin on the edge.."

and i can't remember
if i laughed
or cried
 Oct 2015 Aylin Soto-Aleman
Emma
We were a puzzle
waiting to be put
alongside each other
waiting for the chance
to fit in somewhere
with someone
somehow
Someone broke off my edges and we couldn't quite fit.
 Oct 2015 Aylin Soto-Aleman
Emma
I'll be the ink
you'll be the poetry
I'll write the words
with every ounce of honesty
you'll be the rhythm and rhyme
the ones I'll perfect
one at a time
I'll bring the paper
you bring the pen
if we mess up
we'll start over again
I'll be the ink
you'll be the poetry
we'll bring the life
into this story
You're breathing poetry.
I have found a million ways to say "come back"
but none of them seem to bring you back home.
The silence is killing me
Next page