These dreams of ruins
won’t let me sleep at nights
I often find myself surrounded by wrecked walls
as if I may have lived the lives of a thousand knights

Walls that once would have been so proud
stood there marvellously and astonished the crowd
But now they stand in the forms of shaky megaliths
making me wonder by what force of evil they got ploughed
I try to imagine the unending suffering it must have brought
Moments ago I could hear a few whimpers
but I can tell you now, they were actually screeches
since everything is ever so clear and loud

I tell myself, I can’t stand this dreadful sight
so I turn around, trying to look away with all my might
I even try to look at the ground,
attempting to forget this vicious game of thrones

but look! What tricks this brain plays
still tries to disrupt my gaze
I SO want to get away
but it confronts me in all my ways
Shows me more wrecked walls
not letting me, yet making me want to run away
and finally, I do wake up! But the memory stays ...

Where are you, O gentle one
of whom I’ve dreamt a million times
Where are you, O mountain of love
for whom my heart promptly climbs

Where are you, O beautiful soul
without whom I feel nothing anymore
Where are, oh… those ocean eyes
that made me wonder if my reality was a reality or just a lie

Where is that place where we first met
and which house was that where we kissed for eternity and then slept
Where are those arms that once engulfed me with life
filled me up with endless hope and made me wish for a wife

Where is the face that always smiled
and those lips that forever shined
Where is the lap that I found comfier than a zillion pillows
and those long hairs with such mystical billows

I often find myself asking these questions now, but it’s too late
I regrettably wish I wouldn’t have been so naive
to have believed you’d still be there after we slept
Only to wake up and realise my world had left.

Another war ensues
deep within my chest.
The past has made me stronger now, yet I feel
until I’m dragged down to the blazing flames of defeat, again
it won’t rest.

I keep fighting,
with all my skills from the past
But the war yet continues
with the fervent desire to last

This war doesn't **** you,
you either win or face defeat,
although winning it is quite a feat!
Whatever the outcome,
I’ll be proud of myself that I fought
But the darkness will only grow
If once again I lost.

Once I met a shining star
Capable of healing every scar
“lovely” whose meaning of name
Vast friends we soon became

Innocence oozed from her every pore
Together; I wished of nothing more
We roamed and laughed and went for dinner
The dispirited quickly became the grinner

Days, weeks and months passed
and it seemed the star would outlast
But just when my joy was at its prime
The star ran out of time

Having been gifted a wild heart
Unaware; when love took a fresh start
Immersed fully in the hope
that this one; will not elope

I sit now, alone in my room
With the look of a dry stick or a broom
Stuck with memories of the star I knew
Incapable of starting this life, anew

Either it never entered her thought
or was I the one she had never sought?
Although I, too, never originally intended
Yet my feelings for her got blended

Wonder why God gives one a wild heart
to be loved, cherished; or to be torn apart?
To be abandoned or to be wanted more
or just to let the tears dampen the floor?