All those years we were together
All those times you thrusted into me

You were always wanting more
Wanting anyone and everyone else

You stopped appreciating me

I was just there because I was

Attainable

Always attainable

And you felt like you owed me

Like somehow

Giving it to me every night

Would make up for the fact

That you couldn't stay faithful

Or that it would seem like you loved me

Like somehow being there

Would erase all the bad things

They didn't though

They still linger in my past

Where you now reside

And I'm not going back.

You said I was
enough. Saying I was
meant you shouldn't have left.
How many times do our
cats call you every night?
They look for a person
on your bedside. I lie
to them saying you would
come back. One day,
they were missing you,
crying; it is also the sound of my heart
falling apart.
I felt sick. Picking up pieces
of myself, as futile as making a castle
in the sand, to be washed away by the waves.

And so I left home to
find solace in another's embrace.
Countless women I've met, used
to the unfamiliar cielings and
epiphany I have when morning came,
that her embrace is not yours,
your lips aren't the one
I kissed. The devil
must be so happy but
inside me I am empty.

Every passing day and night,
amidst all imperfect smiles, and
hollow moans and laughter,
I touch my chest
to look for
anyone in it. I miss
the cry of our cats.

Nothing haunts us like the things we don't say

--
is a ***** liar
  that insists things were
  better than they  seemed.
--

I told you I love winter,
and you thought that will change
when the cold numbs my feet
but it didn't

I told you I love vacations
and you thought that will change
when long vacations leave me unproductive
but it didn't

I told you I love you
and you thought that will change
when you break my heart
but it didn't

Loving you was like loving winter
a constant in my equation

and although I was never really great at math
I learned how to make a system of two equations

you are not a constant in my life's equation

**but you are a constant in my heart's equation

Hither hither, love---
      'Tis a shady mead---
Hither, hither, love!
      Let us feed and feed!

Hither, hither, sweet---
      'Tis a cowslip bed---
Hither, hither, sweet!
      'Tis with dew bespread!

Hither, hither, dear
      By the breath of life,
Hither, hither, dear!---
      Be the summer's wife!

Though one moment's pleasure
      In one moment flies---
Though the passion's treasure
      In one moment dies;---

Yet it has not passed---
      Think how near, how near!---
And while it doth last,
      Think how dear, how dear!

Hither, hither, hither
      Love its boon has sent---
If I die and wither
      I shall die content!