How do I restart
To those perfect days?
Deception: an art
That leaves me to gaze

Yet I will depart
From all these dismays
So I'll have my heart
Away from this *haze

I have been held captive
By this stupid trait
And I'm on the road
To my ugly fate

Jealous: I always was;
Jealous: I definitely still am
Oh, how I wish I were not,
Yet still I am ******

Free from these shackles;
How I wish I were
But what my future holds:
Appears unfortunately as a blur

So I'll be waiting
Right here in agony—
Waiting to be saved
From my utter **jealousy

Have you seen these oceans?—
They rise and crash on me
But my feet stand strong here
So I do not fall down

You are my own ocean—
Crashing against me
So blue and so unclear
Yet I will never drown

Who was once my partner-in-crime
Is now just my favorite crime

The reason why I always forget,
Why my life would always reset
To some kind of euphoric state;
In a phase of unflawed perfection

Your voice: it's some pleasing sound
And to this, I am happily bound
'Tis the drug that I truly love most
'Tis the crime—this crime is why I live

My thoughts would always stop with you
But one thing I regrettably knew:
Your thoughts you have, when about me—
Opposite from mine: in that exact direction

Yet my love: so overly ignited—
In addition, obviously unrequited
Yet let this be known: that I won't give up
That my all in all: I will to give

It's all in the mind
This crazy feeling
But I'll never find
The right words falling

Although intertwined—
These thoughts, they're running
And I'm left behind
Desperately crawling

Seemingly obsessed
Latched onto this mess
Constantly depressed
Too scared to express

Locked stuck in a cage
Can't seem to get out
Drowned in my own rage
And filled with much doubt

It's swift and so quick—
This thing that they do
Horrendously sick—
This I found too true

They can't be this blind—
Enslaved to these lies?
My faith in mankind
Depletes as time flies

But standing so still,
I take a deep breath
No weapons to ****
Just hoping on death

Lying wide awake,
Whilst thinking of you

Hearing my heart break,
In half, then in two

This courage I take
My fears: all I blew

This heart: hear it shake?
All because of you

You say that it's fake
It all isn't true

Can I ever fake
All my loving you?

i don't know anymore
what can you do when
you feel like you've lost grasp
of the human being you
might've even trusted the most

the greatest tandem
i thought we were
but then again
probably thats because
i trusted you too much

you ******* me over
so hard, yes, you did
and no words can
ever describe the pain
that i felt, that i feel

and i don't know
what hurts even more
being far from you or
being near to you and
reminding me of the pain

i hate that it all
makes so much sense
i looked up to you
and you up there
looked down at me

so i'll i try to recover
and i swear when i do
i'll run back to you
to make the same mistake—
the best one i've ever made

I tell myself
To forget you
Since you were never
Any good

The sweetest sin
You've always been
To indulge—
I insist I should

They all knew what
Was going on—
We were doomed and bound
For our hell

But you and I
Knew who you were—
Too good to be
All heaven-sent

Having been warned
To stay away
From the demon
That you are

They told me
Not to love again
But after you
I never can

Remember the day
We met at first glance?
You asked me to stay
So I took the chance

Now here I stand tall
Dear love, hear me cry
I gave you my all
So why would you lie?

Wherever you are right now,
I just want you to know that
I've never given up on
us.
We'll never be meant for each other,
and that I understand.
I never expected you to love me
back the way I did, but I just want you
to know that I care.
I still do,
and I forever will.
Two years have gone by,
and just as time depletes,
so does my trust in you.
So do the reasons to love you.
But I love you the same.

I want you to know that you are why
I stay up at night until three in the morning,
why I stay alive, and why I never
want to wake up from my dreams.
With God as my witness, I never always liked you, but my love perpetually
remained the same.

I want to let go.
I want to be strong enough
to see myself free from these shackles,
so may this be my way of
surrender.
Let this signify that the gravity pulling me down to my world,
that is you,
no longer exists.

You no longer act as my
world.
No longer are you the
reason for my lack of sleep.
No longer are you my
drug.
No longer are you my
dream.

But I still
love you
the same.
I will always
be here for you,
but not in the way
I would've wanted it.
I miss it,
but that's what love is:
letting go.
So I will let go.
I let go.
I love you.