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Jul 2018 · 113
Hope
aryanalynae Jul 2018
I’m not saying bye this time
Won’t be the first to say hello
Because I’m tired of feeling so high
Only to feel so low

Tired of the dissatisfaction
Tired of my minds replays
Tired of your words
Just tired of being tired all day.

Maybe it’s good
And maybe it’s bad
Maybe it’ll happen
But I’ve detached myself from that

What happens will happen
Let’s just see how it goes
Just want to see how it plays out
You see, I finally let go of the hope
Jul 2018 · 101
Thoughts
aryanalynae Jul 2018
It’s not me
It’s him
Talking to me
Talking within

Take the thought
Let it go
It isn’t me
Not the girl that I know
Jul 2018 · 106
I blame your touch
aryanalynae Jul 2018
I don’t love like I used to
My heart doesn’t give as much
I blame it on them
But it was your touch.

It was your moves
The way you made me frozen in fear
Beg for your love
But your love was too near

Too close for comfort
You are breaking her heart
In her eyes lies sadness
And she doesn’t even know that part
Jul 2018 · 92
Locked
aryanalynae Jul 2018
They crave to know
But I won’t go
There anymore
I shut that door

Locked it
Threw away the key
Kept the pictures
And I burned all the frames

Images in my head
Memories on repeat
I don’t talk about them
I just keep them close to me
Jun 2018 · 101
tide.
aryanalynae Jun 2018
I got that grind
I ride
not another 'I'm fly'
or 'hot' reply.

I don't mess around
I was born for this
up and down
forward to back
now you're holding your breath
but it's time to relax

enjoy the motion
this ocean of explosion
I'm taking in the tide
more than once tonight.
Jun 2018 · 95
inside me
aryanalynae Jun 2018
mmm

1
2
maybe 3

mmm

rubbing
mmm
inside me

collide in me
sigh with me
enjoy the ride with me

I'm climbing
the timing
it's here
tick
tock

POP
I stop.
Jun 2018 · 126
In love
aryanalynae Jun 2018
We were in love
We were supposed to be in love
What happened to us
What happened with not giving up

We were in love
We were supposed to be in love
Jun 2018 · 100
Toxic
aryanalynae Jun 2018
Every once in a while
I catch myself wondering
If a memory of us
Ever crosses you

And you start to wonder
What I might be up to
And all this life that’s been living
When it used to be lived with you.

I don’t wonder if you miss me
I know you probably do
I might come across your mind
But the right thing is what you do

I’m toxic to your heart
I’m toxic to your mind
And it’s so much more healthy
To leave the past behind
Jun 2018 · 72
Perfection
aryanalynae Jun 2018
I’m not perfect
I’m not even that good
I’m decent
And mostly misunderstood
Jun 2018 · 80
Kneel
aryanalynae Jun 2018
Bite me
Smack me
Kiss me
Sass me

Tease me
Release me
Seize me
And please me

Touch
Feel
Fill
As I kneel
Jun 2018 · 80
Sweet
aryanalynae Jun 2018
Happiness looks sweet on her
It looks cute on you too

And I could cry and sob from joy
Because that’s all I ever wanted for you
Jun 2018 · 70
Happened
aryanalynae Jun 2018
That leather jacket
What happened.

That zig zag zong
Our playlist of songs.

Staying up until the sunrise
What happened to that look in your eye.

We know what happened.
Sometimes I wish it didn’t
Jun 2018 · 56
Say my name
aryanalynae Jun 2018
I don’t really care
How or why you say it
I just wanna hear it
Feel it
One more time
Jun 2018 · 57
Wait
aryanalynae Jun 2018
You’re not here
But you’re right here
And all just feels so right
I waited years
I waited weeks
And I think I can wait some more nights
Jun 2018 · 81
Let ya know
aryanalynae Jun 2018
I don’t want to manipulate ya
Just wanna see you happy
Say what you’ve been doing
And let you know I’ve been thinking

About how you deserve the world
You deserve the hearts you have
And i wouldn’t change anything
And I don’t ever really look back

But I still care about you
And I wonder how you are
I know you’re fine without me
But I still love you from afar

It’s the only way I can
It’s the only way I even know how
Just wish I could wish you congrats
Let you know that I am proud
Jun 2018 · 96
Punish me
aryanalynae Jun 2018
Daddy
I whisper
Dare I say it loud
Baby,
You  grab me
And you turn me around.

Who am I?
You lean in,
Your teeth on my neck
Daddy,
I whimper
And now I’m down on the bed

Back to you
Back up
Face down
Shut up

One
Two
Three
Four
Mmm
I lost count
Punish me
More.
Jun 2018 · 235
Hell
aryanalynae Jun 2018
You used to leave your door unlocked
And I used to throw back the shots
Climb into your bed
And remove my socks
Then you’d undress me
Caress me
Make a mess of me

I’d wake in the dawn
Before light I’d be gone
Sometimes we’d grab food
If I needed a ride from you

Used to hit my cell up
Whenever you were still up
I used to be the girl that picked you up from the bar
Cuz I was too young and you were always so far

Used to be the one you came to
When you were feeling lonely and needing someone to come clean to

Someone you relied on
But only in the ways you allowed
Now I watch as you found happiness
And i couldn’t be anymore proud

You found your something
You never could find in me
And you would think that I’m sad
But I’m genuinely happy

Happiness looks good on you two
And on all of those nights i knew what they meant to you

Friends in the sheets
But not on the streets
Not in town
Just when nobody was around

Just us,nothing to tell
But man how I miss when you’d drag me through hell.
Jun 2018 · 90
Again and again
aryanalynae Jun 2018
I don’t really think that anymore
I used to believe it to my core
And sometimes I wonder
What I am even wondering for

Less wondering
More remembering
Replay replay again and again
Less wondering
More remembering
Replay the end again and again
Jun 2018 · 103
Just kids
aryanalynae Jun 2018
Tonight I realized
What my muse was
And it hit me hard
Kind of like how I used to be hard headed
And you used to be a kid
And I was a kid
And we were just kids
Jun 2018 · 109
I hear you still
aryanalynae Jun 2018
I bet she doesn’t know
What I know
What you felt
What I feel
How you feel
Where your mind wonders
And even though you haven’t said it out loud in a while
I hear you
Jun 2018 · 172
know
aryanalynae Jun 2018
you've had me, you've had me
and you've had me not
so you think that by now
you'd know what you want

you had me, you have me
and you're losing me now
you can either pull me in
or you can let me down

I was yours, and I am yours
but I'm not like before
you've not giving what you've given,
and I'm heart aching for more.

you want to explore
want to know through and through
but I gave you every inch of me,
I have nothing left to expose to you.

let me in, let me in
or let me go, let me go
I'm in this, and I'm willing
how could you not know?
Jun 2018 · 83
Vacationing
aryanalynae Jun 2018
I did it
And you did
And when it was ringing
I couldn’t feel my phone in my fingertips.

When you said hey
And then heyyyy
I felt all the nervousness
Beginning to drain

And then before I knew it
We were catching up quick
I’d say those feelings rushed back
But they never left, they were here to stick

And I’m fighting off the words
I don’t want to say them out loud
I know them already
And I’m afraid they’ll bring rain to the cloud

I was living on in that moment
And then you showed up at the door
And I couldn’t choke back the words
I didn’t want to anymore.

Let you in,
And let you in I did
And you took just one step
And I felt my head spin

And I sang in my heart
Your arms wrapped around mine
And I’m still on that cloud
Yeah I’m vacationing on cloud nine
Jun 2018 · 90
maybe
aryanalynae Jun 2018
maybe you won't at all
maybe I'm not worth the call
maybe I don't know you at all
and maybe I tripped and it wasn't a fall.

maybe I got caught up in the moment
and the dream of what we could be
maybe I saw potential,
potential that you didn't see in me.
Jun 2018 · 69
so
aryanalynae Jun 2018
so
it was all in my head,
that's how it felt when you said
those words that brought ache to my heart
yeah I took the news pretty hard.

I never questioned it,
it was something I was sure of,
and when you said those words,
the doubt poured in and was unheard of.

now I'll question it
no matter the outcome
and I'll wonder if it was in my head
or if I just fell too hard in love.

I wasn't looking when you found me
that's a joke, cuz I found you.
maybe you approached me,
but I'm the one who fell for you.

and I can go out and see other people
they see me smile and look nice,
but I'm hugging them goodbye,
and kissing our memories goodnight at night.

emotionally unavailable. Its out in the open every time,
and I state it, and relay it... but you don't know those words of mine.

I'm counting down the hours,
I know you leave in a couple days.
and my heart is hurting because you haven't called,
but what would we say anyways?
Jun 2018 · 65
Nah
aryanalynae Jun 2018
Nah
You could be anywhere
I don’t feel you near
Who are you with?
-nah I won’t wonder there
Jun 2018 · 61
Tick Tock
aryanalynae Jun 2018
Tick tick tick tick
Making my heart sick sick sick

Tock tock tock
Anxious thought thought thought.
Jun 2018 · 60
before
aryanalynae Jun 2018
pull my hair
spank my *****
grab my thighs
and do what you do to me

tell me what you want
tell me what I'm gonna do
give me those instructions
so I know just what to do

call me baby,
call me anything you'd like
just make sure you call me
before 11pm tonight.
Jun 2018 · 56
Lies
aryanalynae Jun 2018
I don’t really know how it works or why it works but things just work sometimes.
But I don’t really know how or why but people do tell lies
Jun 2018 · 88
Note
aryanalynae Jun 2018
I have a note saved
It doesn’t have your name
But it has all the words
That I’d like to say

I won’t send it
I’m waiting for the time
When you reach out
And I can claim what’s mine

My time was risked
You let it go to waste
And now I have nothing left
Maybe you should’ve thought about it that day

Maybe you should’ve reconsidered
When I begged and asked you to
Maybe you shouldn’t of asked me to leave
When it meant I’d be detached from you.

Maybe just maybe you’ll never send that message
But I’m convinced time wasn’t on our side,
And when it is you will be tempted.
Jun 2018 · 94
when I, when i
aryanalynae Jun 2018
I knew I was actually heartbroken
when I didn't miss you just at 2am
but also at 2pm, when I was in a room full of people

when I looked for you as I pulled into my parking lot.
when I drove by the event center we went to a couple nights before you left.

when I checked my phone and didn't respond to anything
because I didn't see your name

when I started posting more on that one social platform
hoping you'd catch me smiling and fall for it again.

when I  had someone amazing right in front of me,
but I only had eyes for you.

when I realized every move I'm still making,
is in hopes that it works with the ones you might be making now.

when I came home, and it didn't feel like home.
Jun 2018 · 81
want to
aryanalynae Jun 2018
wake up when I don't want to
check my phone when I don't want to
take a shower when I don't want to
and still get ready like I'm trying to impress you

like you're going to show up any minute
you'll just be standing in the door
and I'll look all dolled up
and you'll say you want this more,

than you thought you did that day
because you remember how I feel
you'll tell me all the heartbreak stuff
wasn't really real.
Jun 2018 · 73
Heard
aryanalynae Jun 2018
I want to be valued
For it all

My looks, my brain,
My heart.

I want to be heard,
About it all

My pain, my future,
and all my inner songs.

I want to be stopped
And told right from wrong
When I’m making fast decisions,
And my moms the last one I’ll call.
Jun 2018 · 248
Ask me about love,
aryanalynae Jun 2018
Ask me
About love
And I’ll tell you
All about heartbreak.

How I’ve found
people who made me
laugh
But how I found
out they never stay.

How someone gave me
memories
And then they took
them away.

How someone gave me
hope,
But then they left me
disappointed in the end,

And how something so beautiful
can start,
But stop just as quickly
as it began.
Jun 2018 · 282
..
aryanalynae Jun 2018
..
I’m frustrated not mad
And I’m confused but not sad

Why
Jun 2018 · 103
Slurred
aryanalynae Jun 2018
Don’t think. Just write.

So I do tonight.

Let the ink bleed,
Let it stain the page,

Nothing feels released
And im still masking my pain

Wondering if what I pour out in words
Will remain my words,
will they remain pure

or will you see them
And tease them
Leave them slurred.
Jun 2018 · 116
Guessing
aryanalynae Jun 2018
I actually loved you
And our instant connection.

But now I’m unsure,
And I’m just left guessing.
Jun 2018 · 111
Know no strength
aryanalynae Jun 2018
I wish you’d call.
I wish you’d say anything at all.

I wish you’d cave
But you’re not brave

And I have no strength
I know no strength
Jun 2018 · 75
So long, farewell
aryanalynae Jun 2018
There isn’t anything left to say about it
I just kind of have to feel through it.
And I don’t want to
But I want to

And it’s so exhausting having this battle in my head
For so long
When you were only here for so long.
Jun 2018 · 86
Wanted
aryanalynae Jun 2018
I didn’t want perfect
Or magical

I wanted your word
To hold true.
Jun 2018 · 88
perspective
aryanalynae Jun 2018
a chapter
to me
was a page
to you

a match
lit flame
was a match
burned out
Jun 2018 · 79
all
aryanalynae Jun 2018
all
.







... this seems to say it all.
May 2018 · 60
away
aryanalynae May 2018
Something shifted
Something lifted
A weight maybe
Away, away baby.

I’m in my center
And I’m manipulating the scene
When I’m in my center
I manifest my dreams
May 2018 · 61
Have not
aryanalynae May 2018
Haven’t felt it
In a minute

Haven’t dealt it
But I might give it
May 2018 · 70
Shatters
aryanalynae May 2018
Cluttered and battered
Pieces lay shattered

It’s cold and it’s lifeless
It’s dreaming of times when

It beat for the pulse
It beat for the pulse

And I try to clean it up
I try to fix it up
May 2018 · 104
Quit
aryanalynae May 2018
I can stop thinking about it
I can detach myself so quick
But as soon as my head hits the pillow
I’m anxious, I’m sad, I quit.
May 2018 · 187
Is this real?
aryanalynae May 2018
I’ll admit you got me
But won’t forget that you lost me.

And it’s not as though I wandered off,
We both know the story and why we stopped.

Nobody needs an explanation,
It’s better left unsaid
I still can’t form the words anyway,
I think that’s why I haven’t wept.

I haven’t cried a tear,
I haven’t let out a scream,
I can’t let go of what just happened,
It just seems so unreal to me.

I can’t form the words,
I’m tongue tied and that’s rare,
Normally I’m a master,
But the words.. they just arent there.

Mixed singals, they’re just awful.
They **** my heart up till it’s broke.
And the worst part is I just replay
Every word of every lie you ever spoke.

It doesn’t seem like an end,
Was there just nothing there?
I’m confused by all the moments,
I’m confused, I thought we cared.

Anxious for disappointment,
It was odd how I felt so relieved
When you took the expectations out,
I felt like I could breathe.

Like the fading of the great thing,
We felt and had so much of,
Wasn’t in my head,
..yeah I could tell you lost the love.
May 2018 · 155
Who
aryanalynae May 2018
Who
I haven’t listened to myself breathe in a while.
I haven’t felt myself genuinely crack a smile.
I haven’t been in tune with food for my soul.
I haven’t seen my self in the mirror, truth be told.

I stare at the reflection but I can’t see my breath.
And I can see this smile but it’s looking forced and stretched.

I feed from adrenaline, but I’m just short of a crash,
I’m looking at the mirror but don’t see myself looking back
May 2018 · 73
|Trust
aryanalynae May 2018
Trust is a funny thing
How we crave it
How we deserve it
Yet we have the hardest time giving it.

Trust is a confusing thing
How we manage it
How we measure it
Yet we can’t manipulate it.

We can’t change it. We can’t just create it.
But we have it, and we earn it.
May 2018 · 62
Enlight
aryanalynae May 2018
spiritually enlightened
Life’s consciousness Is heightened
And I’m dreaming but I’m creating
I’m invisioning and procreating
May 2018 · 60
idc
aryanalynae May 2018
idc
some nights I just get tired,
but on rare occasion I'm inspired.
and you could say that I acquire
a taste for ink... so desired.

and I feel my mind rewire,
it's ice cold, but it's on fire
and I learn to just aspire
to the mind's elevation, higher
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