Love me.
Please.
I've never had.
Anything that feels.
Quite.
Like this.
I'm losing it again.
Isolated in a private insanity.

Goodbye isn't the hardest part
I don't know who came up with that
But it's a lie
The hardest part is living your life, for the first time in a while, completely alone
Some may call it Freedom
A new start
I would call it the Aftermath
My world lays in utter destruction
Turmoil
As thunder ruptures above the stormy oceans in my mind
Conflicted waves of emotion flood over me as I go from regret to aching
And the sun seems like it will hide from me forever
As if it can see the darkness inside of me
And thinks that it's the night

I felt broken today
I felt as if everyone who looked at me saw how torn I was
As if they were counting how many pieces of him were stuck in my skin like broken glass
Little bits and pieces stuck everywhere he ever touched me
How can they possibly count them all

It's ok to smile once in a while
it can sometimes make you laugh
it kind of just feels good to do it
It's ok to think of life as a joke in these moments
because you need a good joke to laugh
at
this
****

Your anatomy laid bare for me
Your silhouette in the dim light
And other things that can make a good man
Unreasonable

Door closed
Locking out the perfect faces on the billboards
Shielding two more from the broadcasts of unobtainable lifestyles
As our souls speil, soar and reel in the dark
As we descend into the milky cosmos
As the space between two sheets is filled with love

I get cold sweats when I think about leaving you
I try to cope with the rush of emotion
The jumble of sadness and frustration and anger
I struggle for a moment when the thought crosses my mind
Comprehending our goodbye is impossible
Not being with you is unfathomable
I just thank you for giving me your music
And therefore your soul
Whenever I listen to the same songs that have fluttered in your ears and swirled around your head
I can feel you close to me
A piece of you is near
And it becomes easier to stand not being next to you on our sleeping bag under the stars
It makes it so that this quilt on my bed is enough to keep me warm
At least for the time being

sadness and emptiness are two different things
emptiness is absence of feeling, and sadness is pain
emptiness is the feeling of no feeling at all,
sadness is the crippling enabler that makes you feel small
sadness has a cure, or so it seems
emptiness, however,  is a very unsolvable thing