Only sweet like honey
Because you've dipped your toes
Dabbled in black magic
In - the rest of you goes.
I watch you spiral downwards
In a pool of milky light
Will you be my downfall
Or my last delight?

Little pieces of you flow through my veins among the plasma and blood cells. Bits of you bump into molecules of oxygen and they smile. My heart loves you. It pumps you through my ventricles and asks my body not to filter any of you out. My brain sends out constant oxytocin in your presence and my hippocampus keeps memories of your touch within easy reach. My body loves you just as much as I do.

You made it so easy not to love you
because you left and you became
someone i've never met

You let me ******* die,
you *******.
Don’t you understand?
I told you I was dying
You saw it in my eyes before you left
You saw it in the bottle of pills I handed you.
You saw it in my face when you made me promise
not to do anything stupid.
I KNOW YOU SAW ME DYING.
But you left.
You ******* left and I called yound you got on twitter and talked to your friends
instead of driving the 15 minutes to save my life because
If I had died, it’d be a load off your back.
You knew that if I left
You wouldn't have to bear the things I said
the ways I hurt you that you told me never bothered you.
Did you want to deal with the guilt of my death on your hands?
I told you it wasn't your fault
but you know it is.
I am beautiful and this is your ******* fault.
You let me die and I will forever be
the ghost on your hands.

I hate the fact that you told me
I needed to go to the hospital
You told me if I didn’t go then
You would take me
I fell asleep figuring you’d show up
And make things right
But I slept until the morning
And I woke up even though
I shouldn’t have.

*(r.e.)

You told me that you have
Over one million hair follicles
And I believe you.
I do.
But, if it’s okay, I’ve never counted
To one million before.
I heard it takes a really long time,
But after I count all of the spots
The hair grows out of you,
I want to count all your freckles
And connect them like constellations.
You’re just like the universe to me
And each freckle is a star.
There are lots of stars we can’t
See with the naked eye,
But I want to find those too.
If that’s okay.

Sad isn’t pretty.
Sorrow is beauty
And depression has its allure.
Grief is engaging.
I am not in love with the idea of sad
But I believe there is a morbid
Beauty that some moths
Emerge from their cocoons
With no mouth.
Like the girl you see,
“improving herself”
Digging herself a deeper hole.
Sad is boring,
Misery is enchanting.

*(r.e.)