have you ever wondered
if it was possible
to set fire on fire?

well, if you're thinking it's impossible
cheat on someone with anxiety
and stand back from the flames.

Lipstick red like poison
Stinging as you marked your territory on my neck
And as my knees became weak, my heart a bit too heavy
You picked up the broken pieces, knowing they were yours to collect

Our hands danced under city lights
And frequently met in secret under restaurant tables
But when our fingers pried apart, the city finally fell asleep
And ever so slightly, your mascara ran down your cheek

The light peeked through the windows
And the sun reminded us we’d lost track of time
Between the sheets, we wrote a sermon preaching that there was still love to be made
And by 5AM, we knew we’d need the concealer to hide the blackened secrets under our eyes

-makeup can’t hide all of our secrets

he walked on a tightrope with your glass heart
lost the plot in the story your eyes told
and when his balance followed, your world became one million tiny shards of fear

I spent the rest of my life picking up the pieces
And only got to 999,999.

whenever i have writers block
i pray to god you haven’t stolen my words
because they’re the only thing i have left
to remind me
that you’re no good for me anymore

I keep your secrets close to my heart
Like the necklaces we wear with memories tucked deeper inside than we've ever shared
Like a flower blossomed from us, held tightly to my chest
Genuine seeds of thought sprout as our petals are doused in golden dreams
While lust stained tips and thorns sharpen alongside the crescent moon
I pick that flower every morning and think of you.

The thunder woke me the same way you broke my heart.
I sat up in bed, sweating, panic settling in
The same way it welcomed me graciously when I realized
I'd have to endure every single day
without less than a single spoken word

You won't even look at me.

I used to fight
for you, against you
against the constant urges to look you directly in your gold threaded eyes
and wonder why?

There was a day
where I fought for your heart
and won.

Nothing is the same.
Now it's all detachment and denial
from you, my thoughts, my anger
from the amber glow that follows me radiating red
a somewhat burning hell.

Every morning I see you go to your locker
That's when I can still hear the thunder.