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  Jan 2017 silas
Kelly
She is rain
in the way
you feel her
all around you,
soaking you with
everything she is,
the feel of it
reaching deep
in your bone.

She is snow,
a collection of
unique snowflakes
coming at you
in a beautiful flurry.

She is the clouds--
when she is around,
it's impossible to
overlook her presence.

She is a hurricane,
her effect on people
widespread and unavoidable;
she is a tornado
in the way she pulls you in,
wrapping you tightly
as she does in her hugs;
she is a tsunami
because she loves
with everything she's got,
a tidal wave crashing down on you.

But mostly
she is a sunny day--
warming you,
shining down on you,
letting you know
everything will be okay.
For a friend of mine
silas Nov 2016
these days,
i feel i have become unlovable
they come and go and wouldn't even spit at my feet
they throw me away like a once-bitten apple
once they see a shinier, crisper one
on a branch only a little higher than where i hung

i feel i am a ghost
often it seems like i can never find a place to call "home"
especially not in my own body

i feel i am filled with fiery unrest
i will never watch the sun set peacefully
i will never "leave it be"

i feel i will never be happy
especially not where i am now
written on the 2nd of august, 2016
published on the 21st of november, 2016

digging through my old writing
  Aug 2016 silas
Audrey Maday
"So I'll probably **** myself,"
I said to you,
"But not until I'm 21 and can stain my lips red
And drink for real
And get so drunk I'll dance right off a cliff.
The rocks at the bottom will hug me so tight I'll split right open.
And then I'll never be able to hide any of it
It'll all be there for you to see.
Bleeding out."
You looked at me and all you said was
"Okay."
  Aug 2016 silas
complexify
i love you
i miss you
take care okay
don't leave me
i hate you
please get out
i don't care
you should go
silas Aug 2016
"i love you" should not be a phrase
thrown around by insincere folk
to describe fake feeling,
to justify an ill-thought decision,
or as a bandage for every problem

when did "i love you" lose its purpose,
its innocence?

i wish "i love you" meant a beginning
i wish it could be independent of artificiality
i wish it still represented a sacred bond between open hearts
so unlike it does these days

i can only dream of hearing someone say it
with passion, with sweetness, with authenticity
as if someone like that even exists
published on the 1st of august, 2016

i'm getting really **** tired of hearing meaningless "i love you"s from people who couldn't care less for me
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