Let all the hustle and bustle swirl around
swirling, twirling
around me in a dizzying frenzy

And suddenly

I fall into your arms, those strong arms
holding me up tough and tall
reminding me how to stand up
To be brave to the world and all
of its ammunition fired at me.

Hello,
dear.

It's been awhile since I've last saw your scarred face,
those pockmarks etched across your skin
as you leered at me with those
hungry, greedy eyes.

It's been awhile since your words have affected me,
how they used to whisper in my ears
about all those little imperfections that scatter across my body like rainclouds on a sunny day-

But not everyone seems to hate rain.

A peck of his lips filled with sin
     my labored breathing  
          his calloused hands wander my body
          exploring every inch of me
He holds my hand
      and steals my breath
           with a rope he found in the kitchen
Calloused hands wander over my body
     as he lay me with his ex lovers
          each more beautiful than  the next
          each more grave than the last
Beware of boys with blue eyes like sapphires dropping in the ocean

i fell in love with a boy with dark blonde hair and the most beautiful blue green eyes ive ever seen in my life

his smile is so bright that i swear he is a star
he is the sun in my galaxy

his laugh is as warm homemade chicken noodle soup;
so comforting, so nice you could cry

maybe it's a stretch to say that i'm in love
with the way he cheers up the people around him,
taking their hands and leading them into a world
where you can feel safe and finally be yourself
instead of wearing fake masks of happiness in order to protect those around you
from the hurricane you house inside

but even years of depression later,
a simple five minutes with him makes me feel immeasurable happiness

what's his secret?

if only jealousy didn't get the best of me

i wonder why i lie in bed,
daydreaming about a boy i wish i could have
but may never have

i wonder why i can never collect the courage
to just grab his hands
or hold his face and kiss him softly

i wonder why i'm so afraid of ruining our friendship and telling him how i really feel
when i so deeply just want to be his love

i wonder what he would say
if i asked him to stay in my life forever?

i can't even seem to write
without my hands shaking
and feeling like i'm rocking back into oblivion

i can't seem to remember
all the good times i thought we had
but twas not until we went our separate ways
did i realise

you were a flower, shining brightly
soaking up the affection others gave to you
taking it within your cells
manipulating such an innocent love into empowering bloodlust

laced with your unforgiving poison,
you ****** purity and joy out of every person
who showed vulnerability

you were different.
the moment i confronted you,
you hissed at me for my "selfishness and arrogance"
and our love story ends there.

only months later did it hit me
what you'd really intended and done

at one time, you came back, crying to me
and i tried to explain what you'd done,
but you disregarded my attempts and blamed me for your actions.

deceptive little plant,
when will you learn?