Ana S

Ana S May 2017

In a world full of people whom claim to be something I have encountered quite a few nothings.
The nothings who feel the need to flaunt accomplishments in the other somethings faces.
The nothings who brag on and on about how they are the most important something.
I've also met a few somethings.
The ones who hide behind their creativity and silence.
The somethings who can't speak in crowds.
And funny thing is all the nothings who identify as something bring all the somethings identifies as nothings down.
They are the ones who make the somethings think they are nothing.

Than nothing and something

#inspiring #something #opposing #nothing #help #work #dead

Ana S Apr 2017

Depression destroys you

Does the word ring a bell?
Ever feel trapped in your own
Personal hell?
Regretting every move?
Everything is dark
Storm clouds linger in the air.
Storm clouds that grow darker
It's not even sadness
Over and over the feeling screams
Numb is all I feel.

Depression is an empty feeling

Ana S Apr 2017

When your gone

My body is numb.
I sit in this empty classroom.
Alone.
I sit here feeling bad for myself.
What's the point of making friends if your just going to die someday.
Leave them all behind to sit in your absents.
Leave them behind to question why the sky wizard chose you.
Leave them behind to feel sorry for themselves.
Sorry they didn't do more.
The only question is why didn't they care when I was here.
Why didn't they care when I was alive?
Why is it when a person dies all the sudden they are noticed.
People appriciate you after your dead.
Like a ghost I plan on being a faint memory after I'm gone.
Nothing but a rainstorm.
There and then gone.
Passing to revel the sun.
I'm tired.
So tired.
Everything hurts and my body doesn't like it.
I'm miserable and I'm like a plague.
I infect the people around me and cast a dark shadow over then as well.
Everyone I meet feels "bad" for me.
They don't really though.
Nobody cares until your gone.
That's the harsh reality.
Once your gone everyone cares.

Nobody cares until you've stopped breathing and your body is 6 ft under.

#death #dying #depressed #caring #friends #alone #morbid #harsh #sick

Ana S Apr 2017

assumptions

If you crossed her and I in the halls you'd never think...
never once would it cross your mind that she is indeed not sick.
You all make assumptions.
Often wrong.
Yes, it is true her head is bare.
No, she is not dying.
No, she doesn't do it to revolt against people.
She doesn't do it to stand out.
No, absolutely no, it does not concern you or affect the quality of your life any.
Before you judge a person.
Before you give her your condolences.
Think...
just take a moment to think.
It doesn't involve you.
If you don't know ask.
Don't assume.

A write on a girl with allopiecia

#allopiecia #assumptions #people #hate #anger

Ana S Feb 2017

Lunch thoughts

I sit alone at lunch forcing myself to eat.
I know I have to eat.
If I don't keep food in my system I'll continue my downward slide.
Exhaustion
Pain
More exhaustion
More pain
Atleast the testing has begun.
They've already ruled out all minor things.
So from here forward I get to be poked again and again.

Ana S Feb 2017

My thoughts on death

I used to pray for death.
Little did I know I hadn't lived yet.
I was never alive.
Never saw the light.
Now I decided to live.
But it may be the end.
So instead I mope around.
Dragging my feet on the ground.
Emotions overwhelming.
Thoughts over bearing.

#death #thoughts #on #my

Ana S Feb 2017

Alive and fighting

Fear... fear you have layen upon my body.
Fear... fear you have forced into hers.
Breaths... breaths you've taken away.
Made harder to breath.
You've brought a sickness over me.
I lay in this room secluded unable to force myself to get up.
Three days straight I've layen here.
Sick with this awful sickness.
Unable to move.
Today I got up though.
Today I found strength enough to remove myself from the room and eat something.
All thanks to a man.
He wished me the best and shared his story with me.
He told me believing you can fight is the hardest part and that I am strong.
I am strong.
I can get past whatever this world throws at me.
I will not let it bring me down.

#help #inspiration #ill #sickness