If you crossed her and I in the halls you'd never think...
never once would it cross your mind that she is indeed not sick.
You all make assumptions.
Often wrong.
Yes, it is true her head is bare.
No, she is not dying.
No, she doesn't do it to revolt against people.
She doesn't do it to stand out.
No, absolutely no, it does not concern you or affect the quality of your life any.
Before you judge a person.
Before you give her your condolences.
Think...
just take a moment to think.
It doesn't involve you.
If you don't know ask.
Don't assume.

I sit alone at lunch forcing myself to eat.
I know I have to eat.
If I don't keep food in my system I'll continue my downward slide.
Exhaustion
Pain
More exhaustion
More pain
Atleast the testing has begun.
They've already ruled out all minor things.
So from here forward I get to be poked again and again.

Fear... fear you have layen upon my body.
Fear... fear you have forced into hers.
Breaths... breaths you've taken away.
Made harder to breath.
You've brought a sickness over me.
I lay in this room secluded unable to force myself to get up.
Three days straight I've layen here.
Sick with this awful sickness.
Unable to move.
Today I got up though.
Today I found strength enough to remove myself from the room and eat something.
All thanks to a man.
He wished me the best and shared his story with me.
He told me believing you can fight is the hardest part and that I am strong.
I am strong.
I can get past whatever this world throws at me.
I will not let it bring me down.

My spaniel puppy lays on my feet.
I'm at home comfortable under my blue blanket.
It's a soft blue blanket probably one of my favorite possessions.
The spaniel puppy is warm and soft.
She keeps my cold body warm.
She knows something is wrong.
She's worried too.
Everyone's worried.
Lately my body has been caving.
Sicker and sicker I grow and I'm unable to cure this sickness.
My body refuses to fight it.
Over two weeks now what should be a common cold has made me miserable.
No I'm not contagious.
I have to sit out during sport activities because my lungs can't take that kind of activity.
My lungs aren't necessarily the best at being lungs.
They don't want to breath in air.
They feel like they are suffocating.  
It's an interesting feeling.

I used to long for death.
Now I'm pleading it to stop.
Never appreciated life.
Now I can't get enough.
No forever is never promised.  
It can never be set in stone.
Lately my body has been deteriorating.
The only way to vent is here.
You see I have two lumps in my neck.
Nobody knows what it is yet.
Could be nothing could be something.
It varies from thyroid... lympth nodes swelling... all the way down to lymphoma, aka cancer.
They tell me not to worry.
It's best to prepare yourself for worse.
What if I am dying.
Atleast I'll be ready when my time comes.
After all we are all dying.
Life is inevitable.  
Life is unovoidable.
But death is inevitable as well.
There is no going around it.
You and I.
One day we are both going to die.
Maybe tomorrow maybe 13 years from now.
Life is not promised.
I remember last night.
I told her I could potentially be dying.
I told her not to worry.
I told her it probably isn't anything bad.
She tried to fight the tears then the began to flow.
Steady like a stream.
She was breaking because of me.
I told her I need you to be strong.
She said if I died she wouldn't go on.
She said you are the one I wanted all along.
What if this sky wizard called god is out to ruin us.
I asked why he would do that.
She just replied don't go cursing Sky wizards.
If there's a god I couldn't imagine him doing a thing.
Killing a girl at 16.
Taking my life when I've only just begun.
I used to beg for my end.
Little did I know I had only just begun.