i can’t be the only one
who has stood up to this behavior.
have none of the other girls
demanded respect from you,
or did they deal with it
so they didn’t feel like a bother?
or maybe they did,
and that’s what you meant
when you told me they were crazy,
or possessive,
or needy,
when all they really did
was ask for the respect they deserve.
i can’t sit idly by while you continue
to treat them like an object
that you are free to play with
however you feel.
respect women,
respect their bodies and their feelings,
and one day you will thank me.

i have always been in love with the night sky.
the stars, the planets, and the moon,
shedding their light on us,
sparkling like fallen glitter.
on clear, dark nights, i wander out to my street,
blanket over my shoulders with my sky chart in hand,
and gaze endlessly at the stars
picking out constellations and planets
soaking in the beauty that the universe has to offer.
i love it, and i always have.
but lately the stargazing has been different.
i go through the same routine -
looking at the sky, finding constellations,
and studying the mythology behind them -
but when i’m out there on my street
looking up at the night sky
i want you to be there next to me,
looking up at it too.
i want to point out constellations to you
and tell you about them.
i want to show you the planets
that you never realized you could see before.
i want to tell you all about this beautiful part of nature
that i love so deeply with my whole heart -
and yet i can’t.
because when i’m out on my street
i’m out there alone
gazing at the night sky in pure solitude
and i can only dream that you are next to me.

i walk around my kitchen
at half past one in the morning
sipping on water in silence
as my parents are sound asleep.
why am i not sleeping, too?
i’m restless,
i can’t bring myself to settle down.
maybe i’m anticipating your call,
which will never come
or your knock at my door,
which will never happen,
and yet i keep myself awake
hoping you will be the first to say
i’m sorry

it’s 2:07 am
and i’m in my bed
listening to songs
about missing you
trying to cry
the emotions out of me.

the hot summer night
keeps me awake
with the thought of you
holding me in your arms
because the heat
is worth your presence

and with every passing minute
every moment
you still haven’t called
i get worse
what happened
where did it go
our friendship
withered away
like plants in winter
and so did our summer love

there was poison dripping
from your mouth with every
word you spoke, and every
lie you told, and every
i love you.
but all i saw was liquid gold
and i was in love.

there are days where i am the girl who
wears all black clothing
with red lipstick
and listens to alternative rock music

there are days where i am the girl who
picks flowers and
wears flowy dresses
while she makes her own skin care

there are days where i am the girl who
puts on a pair of mom jeans
to hang out with friends
and sip on iced coffee

but there are the days where i am the girl who
stays in her pajamas all day
eating ice cream and
binge watching tv shows
because she is sad

there are the days where i am the girl who
sleeps until three in the afternoon
and is still tired,
taking another nap
because real life *****

i am an ever changing enigma,
for one day i will be someone
and the next day, someone else.
but those who know and care for me
will stick by my side
no matter how i am feeling
or who i feel like being that day
because they know that the real me
is always there.