If YOU are conspiring
to inspire
then you
Inspire me.

I pray to my guardian angels that this world will take.
take time for me
take time for mine.
take time for the un-loved
take time for the scrutinized
take time to love
take time for the whole
universe..
that people keep telling me is mine
its written on paper
I see it with eyes
if only I could open the closed
I find myself awakened
i find it hard to time
time the relevance between what I consider disastrous
fair in mind.
I sometimes think, If only -if only
I had the money to feed my mind with more danger
no self inflicted crimes.
If only I could hide.
would I make more of a difference gone then being in an everyday
charade.
a blanketed expression of zero impression
words fumble around
my fingers tinted with this fake ideology
that one day everything will be okay.
The world that I love and have chosen is all but a false
intensified figment of my imagination.
I think of a thing or a person
and suddenly there my imagination has spoke.
they appear with surprise absolutely no warning.
but what would be life if I could pick different moments
glimmers of sun and hints of darkness
I just hope that one day
I can force the light to see my way
guide my path
knowing that I am the master of my soul
and the passenger on a ship to my lost oh god forsaken whole.
I know but one thing- that this world I have imagined should one day change
if I could only find the gratitude within my being
stomach the love
vibrate the same feeling
make love with two souls
bound with pure love.
a type of see through energy.
only my guardian angels can guide me back to.
I know if I ask then the guide to find my light will be waiting
sanctioning
my world to finally shift and be taken.

I'm fighting to stay
I'm fighting a haze
stuck in my bed all day
in my head always.
hard to get up
Empty, I'm Empty
mind cruising on e
exhaust
exhaustion riding me
exhausted, just trying to hide me.
I'm secluded all the time.
Stuck with myself
stampede of thoughts
crowding my mind
escaping from a place
you would only find
behind a door
filled with crazy
sounds just like my dads snoor
I think I may hate myself.
The type to preach self love
but has no self worth
the type to come home to a Don
then call me a Ben
the type to give no *****
morals are dead
no longer clear
I live in a world of fear
fear that the people we now consume
allow to rule
our worlds
in our minds
we live in a new world
where fame is not real
the unknown should be the known
and the ones standing up right now
should take a seat
A world where everyone is living inside a screen
stars are not created anymore
stars don't come out from hiding anymore
the stars with the light
hide
stay clear of the night.

Waiting for the 217 metro bus
Sunny side of la
My head bowed
Staring at small crack
Lying beneath my feet
With intricate detail
Leaving me
Wondering
How has this come
To be
This crack lying
Beneath my feet..
Head still down
Bowed
Looking under my feet
I seeped my way through
This intricate detail
Of what was
Under the soles of my feet.
In a new space
In a new time
I am
Time warped
Perplexed
Undermined
I hit a new place
I entered a new realm
Something between
Heaven
And
What I remember as a
lost town
A town filled with souls
After all but one thing
A town filled with souls just a group of lost human beings
Trying new drugs
Experimenting new things
A town
Lost with several human beings
The souls there latch
Bind
Imprint on pure things
Take the soul and turn it into something
Never seen
They transform this soul
From pure to
To well tainted
painted
They say welcome
Here is a gift from the lost souls of our town
The souls forgotten but somehow found
We have imprinted on you….
You now can have access
to anything saved
yes yes yes yes and…..
We give you the key to that gate
Yes, look a little harder
It’s a bit chromatic
because you see
We live in this town of lost souls
And few human beings

Yes I know its all so…
confusing
We have no guide
We live not with food
Just an insurmountable
Supply of whatever drug you must use
Right over there is the green goddess
Now give a wave and show your gratitude to what
She provides us with here everyday
Because you see
If she stops growing
We are faced with this thing
This thing …
lost souls don’t ever want to see
This thing this lost town has no recelection
in some millions of years.
Now listen closely as I tell you what it may be
We are all scared of corporeality
Something we never want to be
Now that you understand the entity
of lost souls
Come with me
We embrace you with open arms
We give you the title
The crown
Of our new majesty
Our queen
You are the queen of this lost
Malefic town
So come take step with me
Walk through this door with me
I have imprinted on you
No that means
YOU my queen
That means me +you
Eternity

So try leaving these lost souls
Try leaving this lost town
Try reaching heaven now
Try looking up into the clouds
And thinking back to when you entered
Entered this lost town
Seeped through
To our town
Entered our world
You did just one thing
You left your voice at the door
You left your values on the floor
Now Johnny over there
Johnny hey Johnny
Ya
Ya
Did you find what she left at the door?

Ok great and one more thing
Did you pick up what she forgot on the floor?
Ok great
Because now heaven only exists for you my queen in some foggy grey cloud.
Between heaven and this lost town
And so it is written
Engraved
Imprinted
Once again
Welcome
Welcome to our lost town
Weve named it
And called it
Hell
There is a seat saved for you
Right there next to…
Guess who.

Click
Click
Tick
Tick
Tick
Why thank you kind sir for showing me
This town
This awfully forsaken forgotten lost town
I bring a warm gift
From a place found deep in my heart
A gift you will take
A gift you will pick apart
And examine
Might never figure out the meaning
Oh my very lost soul
My forgotten human being
This lost town is a town I have entered
But as I bid you farewell
Remember that  my body and soul
Belongs to this beautiful place
Not found behind a door
With no objects lying on the floor
A  place a lost soul
May never find.
Has not found..
As I walked through the door
Ground passing beneath my sole
I picked up saved items
And returned with
my soul
and with Every fiber
My whole
Takes root
Back to time
Reality
Corporeality.
“Mam hey mam
Are you waiting for the 217?
Its here”
Before standing up
My eyes hit this crack
They stared at this dark ominous
Intricately placed crack
Now understanding
The  true meaning for its  being

What does a world consist of today?
mediocracy?
illusion leaving people disillusioned
Tall tales we tell
lies that soak up our pain
claiming
never being
hearing
never listening
questions
never really having a purpose or meaning
relationships started
ending in the in between
people scared of feelings they were taught to
stay clear
conscious way of being
tall tales we tell
soon believing
altering what others actually see
manipulating others
seducing the weak
imitating power
pretending what we are is what we are not
silent conversations had between eyes
thoughts that are powerful
things we try to forget
books scattered all over my floor
self help
self made
self taught
choice to go out
seeing people
familiar lonely faces
preying on them
recklessly living
potentially recking a long term friendship
becoming something
we never thought we'd be
realizing
I am just an animalistic human being
living from experience to experience
experiencing life in many altered ways
leading to a skewed way of seeing
the world and everything we try to be

My thoughts mirror every object that hits my attention
******* me into a world
distraught, hurt, and in a frenzy..
When will the good times roll?
When will my hurt come out of what feels like a sunk in hole.
my whole is picked apart
hope is no longer attached.
I just feel under attack.
waiting like a fish
almost breathing under water
I feel sick when I just want to feel stronger..