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Aurianna Aug 2020
When I am by myself
I just sit there
My eyes unfocused
Completely trapped in my mind
As I feel my chest sink
And my heart breaking
I realize

I am alone
The three words echo
Louder in my head
Than a broken glass
In an empty auditorium
I have waited
For calls that never came
Love,
That was never given back

I believed
I could love other people
So much that I could one day
Eventually
Love me too
But when everyone you love leaves
Apart of you, leaves you
too

Even if they come back
I continue to greet them
with open arms
But never forgetting
And Always reminded, Every time
No matter how hard I love
How much I give
That I am easy to let go

People see me whole
But every time
I look in the mirror
All I see, is everything that’s missing
I fill my holes with lies
And short term happiness

It’s easy to not notice
What’s missing beneath the surface
If all I choose to show
Is my smile
But not the pain behind it
The twinkle in my eye often
Confused for happiness

I avoid superficial conversation
But lack the words
To say what I feel deep inside
I am mute to expressing my pain
Sober,
I drown myself in people
To silence my own mind

Until once again
I find myself alone
Unable to hold back the tears
Of how much
I cannot stand
To be left by myself
With my own thoughts

I don’t have trust issues
I have abandonment issues
For I consistently convince myself
That everyone I love will leave me
Like they have
So many times before

And honestly I understand
To look at myself
From someone else’s shoes
With an insiders perspective
And given the choice
To leave me...
I probably would too
I am empty with nothing left to give because I don’t know how to give to myself
Aurianna May 2020
mind that,
its okay
to be scared
to be better
smile
even when
you're crying
stop running
from the storm
just embrace it
feel everything
fight all you
want, and then
face it
believe in you
trust yourself
free because
you need not know
where you're going
but because
you don't
need to know
let go
im free because i just let it go, fly with the wind baby
Aurianna May 2020
He is passionate
Overflowing with untamed emotion, magic slips from his
Fingertips creating masterpieces with his hands

He is fire
Dry throat, silent pleas, match to gasoline, uncontrollable
Skin devouring

He is love
Where nothing can become everything
A halo of light illuminated in a darkened room

He is balance
The kinda person who makes you feel like a sinner and a saint
All at once; You wanna see him happy even without you

He is art
His eyes compose irresistible stories but only to those who listen
His tongue an abstract painting, each stroke so intricate; delicate

He is sad
For he gives his love endlessly, concern is his language
He fears he's not enough, but hes so much more than he knows

He is a dreamer
In the eyes of the world doomed broken by design, all the things he Knew he was meant for; the sweetest ignorance of how to get there


He is familiarity
Sweeter than any childhood memory, you want to wrap
Yourself in his embrace, you feel like its something you know

He is
when you fall in love with an old friend, Wether it be Platonic or romantically, i will love you always
  May 2020 Aurianna
LB Parker
I have memorized every inch of him
in hopes that when he goes
I might still have something left

but his picture fades with everyday
and now I have only shapes and shadows
of the man that I love
With love,
kelsey
I have cried
So many times,
Hidden and silent.

I have stared
At nothingness,
Felt my heart breaking.

I have waited
For so many calls
From you that never came.

I have believed
Everything that you said
I guess some weren't true.

I have been left
By you waiting for
The things you said you'd do

I broke my heart again,
Because I thought, finally,
I'll stop being used by you
Looks like I'm gonna have to sleep
Hoping I'll feel less sad when I wake up.
  May 2020 Aurianna
D
i want him like i want the sun; mornings are better when i wake up with him.
x
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