I'm eating until I feel whole again
The joy of being unconscious
Has jumped right out of my chest
And it hurts like I've dreamt of falling
And the space you had once occupied
In my heart became flowers
You could have been the first wave
The salt that burns the skin
The grains of sand hurting my face
I miss the sun in the mornings
And the warmth of the touches
And who am I trying to fool?
I haven't been eating for days
I became my own meals
Yet I starve for the stars and the universe
For the green in the grass and the blue
In the twilights
I starve for you

I'm afraid to touch in public
My secret is written in bold on my forehead
Three days before the full moon
I gave myself the luxury to not belong
Into this sensitive world of yours

There's a whole charm in a victorious gaze
And an entire chaos in the hair blown in the wind
You can't feel jealousy in a relationship
When I only think about you all the time
I spread all the clues in the hallways
And in my old laughters of last year
But you can't read them

**You don't have the guts to see them

It's early morning
And the maid hasn't even arrived yet
Your morning breath
And my tired eyes staring back
At your final seconds of sleep
We get up, speechlessly
I start to make my morning tea
And you pour sugar in it for me
It tastes like the colour of your skin
I don't even shiver anymore
You're the heat inside my lungs
And the golden tones of my rising suns
The touch of your voice in my ears
Makes me feel like I'm melting fears
And I have never felt so safe
By looking into one's eyes and say:
"You're my entire solar system"

I think I'm starting to get
The reaction of our bodies to the rain
The way our fingerprints seem to change
When there's no light to understand
What's really good or just a sin
How easy it is to write in other tongue
To spit your feelings in sentences
That don't belong to your mouth
Nor to your bones
Read what I feel not in words
Read me for I am another soul
Trapped in a foreign body

You thought I couldn't see you
Hiding on the other side of the window
Catching my breath
Through the curtains
It's in the air
Green eyes looking for me
Stop thinking and act as you feel
Through the glass and the uncoloured
I still sit at the table
I still drink black coffee
I still look back at the invisible
I still bite my tongue
Your hands and your flesh
There used to be something inside
You don't have to say my name
I understand

I have to obliterate
This antichrist
That's always tempting me

When between us used to exist
only a certain letter
the full correspondence
the train
the rails
the open window
a certain landscape
without rocks or
troughs
my high heels
in equilibrium
the cup of water
waiting for the coffee

The sun burns my skin
I wish things were different

Sometimes I wanna die
But then I remember all the movies
Series, music, visual arts, people
I haven't met yet

The coke bottles on the weekends
The iced teas before classes
The energy drinks at 2 a.m.
I know I'm made of water
My organs, my tissues
My voice is a liquid
Which evaporates in my throat
That flows away through my eyes, my ears
I can dissolve so easily
But I can also turn rigid, hard
Disguised in a solid state, icy

The rapids fall
In the depths of the night
By myself, I turn into the purest fountain

˜˜˜˜˜˜˜˜˜˜˜˜˜˜˜˜˜˜˜˜˜˜˜˜˜˜˜˜˜˜˜˜˜˜˜˜˜˜˜˜˜˜˜˜˜˜˜˜˜˜˜˜˜˜˜­˜˜˜˜˜˜˜˜˜˜˜˜˜˜˜˜˜˜˜˜˜˜˜
(portuguese translation)

Às vezes dá vontade de morrer
Daí me lembro dos filmes
Das séries, músicas,
Artes visuais,
Pessoas
Que eu ainda preciso conhecer

A coca-cola dos fins de semana
Os chás gelados antes das aulas
Os energéticos às 2 da manhã
Eu sei que eu sou de água
Meus órgãos, meus tecidos
A minha voz é um líquido
Que evapora na garganta
Que sai nos olhos, nos ouvidos
Me desfaço tão fácil
Mas também me torno rígido, gélido
Me desfarço de sólido

Cachoeiras caem
Nas profundezas da noite
Sozinho, sou a fonte mais pura

I threw up the skies
And inhaled the stars
All that with a half-full bottle
And an indescribable nausea

This time,
The moon was the embarrassed one:
Didn't glow neither looked at me
I guess that was why
She was just so shy

I apologized
Under a scalding sun
Of a broken saturday

I woke up feeling brilliant
My country is embarrassing
I don't wanna speak portuguese
I wanna paint my body
And throw myself into things

The white walls of the museums
I had never visited
Invite me to show my useless
And pointless opinions

I feel like capturing the colors
Capturing tones and movements
Look inside my eyes and tell me
Something I haven't felt yet

I´ve never felt this way,
Dying all the time,
Bottling up my sorrow
So I wouldn´t cry everywhere.

Putting my head up,
To avoid the tears from overflowing
My eyes, which didn´t open
Everytime I left my house.

Holding my breath,
So I could turn invisible
To anyone and everyone,
Everywhere I´d go.

I´ve never felt this way,
It´s made me feel like
Going back home.