You're my best-kept secret,
my one-time fling.
The only source of this heartbreak,
yet - still -
everything.

Your absence is suffocating,
the last droplets of your name escape my lungs.
Don't worry, darling;

*I'll be gone when the morning comes.

There are still bad days.

Days where it’s easy to forget that a world exists outside my bedroom.

Days where the moments in-between each breath feel like an unmapped ocean and no one’s really sure if there’s land on the other side.

Days where I’m not sure if there will be other days.

Days where the calendar smiles coldly and says, “yeah, you wish.”

Days where I’m not always able to keep the fire inside.

Days where I burn.
And get burned.

There are still bad days. And I’ve seen better days. But I’ve also seen days a hell of a lot worst.

So I’ll limp my way through the bad days with a bucket of water for my burning heart and an extra roll of duck tape for my tattered appendages

Because at least now there can be good days.

Days where I can look gravity in the face and stand up straight.

Days where I remember my name. Sometimes I even say it out loud.

Days where I can let the dust settle on the noose.

Days where I remember why I didn’t go quietly.

Days where I can see it.

Days where my eyes wander upwards and the sky almost looks like it did before it fell down on my head.

Days where I pick up the needle and find another part of myself to sew back on.

Days where I think about other days, and what they’ll be like when they get here.

Days that I love.
And am loved.

So yeah, I’ve seen better days, but I’m getting better in the face of the bad days.

Because I don’t lack the vision, it’s the method that I always seem to misplace.

But I think I’ll be able to hold onto it...
one of these days…

Left out in the cold
             in the cold
Left out in the cold
             in the cold

He used to be a fighting man
              in the cold
              in the cold
or in the sands or
              in the cold
              in the cold

in the cold, in the cold
left out in the cold
in the cold, in the cold
left out in the cold

He promised her
Unending Joy
Gave her dreams of happiness
A world unknown to her
He left her only with darkness
He Promised her
Endless Love
Made her feel like she could float
On thin air alone
He left and she forgot how to fly
He Promised her
The World
And when she was with him she was
Infinite.
Him and Her against the world
He left and the world crumbled
He promised
            And promised
                       And promised
And she believed him
But
She learnt that his heart was as empty
As the promises he had bled.

                                                          ­  M.D

I met your eyes; twice open,
And once, I heard your voice.
I wish we could start over now
And make a better choice.
I often heard people mention
The bond they had with theirs.
All my life I kept saying,
I simply did not care.

The first day you had met me,
You didn't know my name.
I know that's the point of meetings,
But this was not the same.
You shook my hand like a stranger,
You'd rather never know.
And the naïve child within me,
Never wanted to let go.

The second day you came to talk,
And made my mother cry.
Trying to withdraw the past you left,
And return back to her side.
I tried then to forgive you, Gran,
But forgiveness is hard to give,
To a woman who never cared about
The lives she gave to live.
But I kept back my anger for
A woman worth so much more.
For she's much more stronger than,
The woman you came back for.

You broke her heart,
And broke her soul,
And walked away without tears.
I hoped you thought about the past:
The core of your child's fears.
But your mistakes could fill an endless list,
And sadden a jolly man.
But I forgave you, nonetheless,
Because you were my Gran.
You placed your hand in mine, right then,
And posed for the camera shot.
Your skin soft as flower petals,
A feeling I never forgot.

The third day I came to you,
It was time to say goodbye.
To see you, at peace, after all those years
Without you in our lives,
It was then my heart suddenly dropped,
And caused my eyes to cry.
The time was not ours to have
We never got the chance.
I cannot remember the way you looked,
For I only got a glance.
But I still remember your hand in mine,
Even after all those years.
And that feeling alone sets my heart in flames,
To conjure up the tears.
Your hand stays cold beneath mine since then,
Without heat, I cannot bring.
You withered away too early, Gran,
Like the flowers in mid-Spring.