you're the first person i've ever wanted to be so successful in their life that you would have contentment for eternity.
with so much hate for the world, a ******* teenager like me didn't know how to handle you and especially how uniquely your mind works.
still to this day if you bump or touch me ever so slightly, i can't help but to notice how well our skin feels together, and i realize i only need you more than i did the second before that short minute of wonderful fate occurs.
what else? you are so ******* beautiful. i've never seen so much beauty in one person before i accidentally glanced at you on that one rainy morning.
days go by and still i don't have you. you don't need to be careful. you are so brilliant. you could light up the night sky with your stunning smile in addition with your eyes.. you don't even want to try to admit to your little perfections.
but it's okay baby. i promised you with those little songs i wrote and those words i said that i'll get better and i'll love my own self just as much as i love you.
you'll never beat him. i'll make sure of it. but you are so persistent and lonely, you'll learn how to drive and i'm anxious.
every part of you was in my possession and i had never been that happy before. but since i ******* up so badly, i can't blame you for not wanting a romance. and for blaming me for most of the bad **** that goes on nowadays.
i'll try so hard for you.
trust me on this one baby,
i got this.

you scared me more than anything else that gave me fear,
i didn't need anything else, you were my butterfly and i never wanted you to die or fly away.
i'm sorry that it or i couldn't of met your satisfaction, but i never wanted anything else to work out more than our past captivation.
i always thought about you as i was sitting in a passenger seat in your mother's car. and i invariably wondered how an artificial light could make me feel so hopeless.
every night you slept more and more and i couldn't help but to notice your beauty and i missed you existence. you will always will have a part of me and once you decide what to do, i'll tell you that i'm ready. your scars never made you have a sad story, it just made my desire to make you my universe augment.

I'll always think that your soul is beautiful no matter what. I'm prone to it. It's okay. I'll get over the fact that you weren't just my world but my universe in time. I'll always know how much happiness you've brought me. But then again those times when I saw your smile and when i realized how it made me feel better it will continue to make me so breathlessly taken by your beauty and presence. But when i know you're ready.. You'll let me go. And that's okay because i got to spend time with and honor the only person that knew how my mind worked better than myself.

i can't keep desiring to want to be yours.
looking back at all those moments when i needed you,
i didn't need anyone else. only you.

and now you're happy, and i'm confused.
you told me that it was going to be alright in the end,
yet i'm still ****** up and it's the end of us.

you liar.
how dare you keep the truth away from me?
*******. **** your happiness. **** your new victim.


do you know that i can't do this without you?
you're the reason why i continue to breathe in and out,
i don't know what i'm doing, i don't know what to do.

but i like seeing you enjoying life,
i'm sure it's as beautiful as you.
but until i can see your amount of endless beauty compared to life,
i'll just remind myself that you're my infinity.

i remember what it was like to have the desire to live and to have the goals to want to carry on.
but i also remember what happened there, and on your basement floor and on my closet walls.
my marks are left to prove my existence.
except one only thing that i could think to be learned from all this is how to do it better, and get a more gaining conclusion.
i'm a black butterfly. innocent but always blamed for the darkness. looking sad.
and after i thought about and remembered how much i miss you and after i recalled what we were and what we had,
i realize that i don't remember anything.

stumbling, but still breathing.
and wondering where you are, where i should go and how much you could possibly miss me.
it's when you're alone that you know what's exactly wrong. the pain and sorrow trapped inside your crazy head, like a lion trying to escape a cage.
and once i find that you're at a point of giving up for good, i let you let go.
and then in that moment it's better, happier.
you can remember how to breathe;
and you actually enjoy it.

as you wake, i close the windows,
it's my duty to save you from the monsters.
countless of times i've seemed to do wrong.
i'm far from perfection but i guess that i second guess.

when i want the best i mean it.
we're real, i can feel that feeling
that you get when you close your eyes
and your body lingers for your touch.

the desire is effortless,
i can't help but to look up and notice it.
flowers decay and ink bleeds through the paper,
i paint with gray and it shows up red.

i have the need to be saved in a limited time.
but i've always wanted to be yours.
just save me if i save you,
and maybe we might become content.