I think I killed a man today,
For he would not look at me in anyway,
Smiled over him as his soul left his eyes, licked his blood and savored his rejection.
Self-indulgence was my justification, the achievement of vanity was my motive.

Breath left his glorified ruby red lips, hazel green eyes pleaded to the dark abyss which was my soul.
How beautiful a moment I had created, was he proud of such a love filled death?
I loved him, loved him I did.
But he mocked my emotions, laughed at my devotion.
He trampled my passion, lust and infatuation.
Hopefully he burns in damnation.

I killed the man today, and I'll stand over his grave.
I'll watch and laugh at him all day.
My soul won't weep or shed a tear.

You slept again with that unknown man,
I sniff your clothes, freezing my cheeks sending a nervous shudder,
Radiant exuberance rushes through every cell, as my mind enters a ****** state of pleasure and Benzedrine.
Fire ignites from within every hole, I cry out for my thoughts are their own, and they are spinning on the floor.

I look to the sky and say "forgive me father" as I enter this state of perfect purgatory.
Breaking down crying naked I shriek with delight.
Burning a cigarette hole in my arm I let the supernatural ecstasy encompass me, as Imagine his fiery eyes.

I want to pleasure him, I want him to rip my limbs.
Sit on my ***, and worship his soul.
Feel the feeling as he lifts your legs to his waist,
as he chokes you out of consciousness, forcing you to imagine my reaction.
The feeling of having him inside you as he fills you with pain, pleasure and joy.

For you think you cheated,
and got away,
but in reality I was always really gay.

Truth is but fabrications,
a figment of inspiration.
I can't compare life or death,
Nor the sound of your breath.

Time goes by, and seasons change
No one sees you walking down the street,
Its fall but flowers bloom without leaves.
and here I sit and wonder what is truth?

Eyes closed I learn to paint,
In solidarity I paint your soul,
Brighter with every stroke,
My painting is monotonous,
for it only paints you.

Everyone around me dances,
I ask myself everyday if I have gone insane.
With a smile on my face,
What is truth? What is lie?
All I know is you. . .

Nobody sees me,
but I see you.
truth rejects me,
Fantasy to me is real,
For its all I see, and that Fantasy is you.

Little Brown Red Bird,
Grow your wings soar far away,
In to solitude.

Touch that sends shivers down my spine,
Breath as ardent as the brightest flame,
Tears that stream my very soul.
Black lined exuberant eyes shrouded in mystery,
Peer through bone, blood and flesh.
My heart cannot take your pleasure and pain
Every tick and every tock is an endless tunnel of unfathomable love.

Fingers bleed, as teeth grit.
Skin tears, and two hands ***** my neck.
Bearded angels scream YASSSSS
The music pumps, the crowd goes wild.
Yet no one notices my insignificance.
I gasp for air; I want to scream but sound is lost.
Life leaves, a body lays against a decrepit bathroom wall.

You killed me, while bearded angels danced the night away.
If only I could live once more,
and experience your fervency once more.

I am a crazy dreamer,
Waited for a love which never came.
As I watched the kids cruising becoming part of the future.
Smiling in love, the thing I always craved.
Everyday my heart grew darker and sore.
I knew I was not born to love,
Never to know truelove.

So, call me crazy,
Tell me I don’t try and I am lazy!
I see no need to dress up or to make myself decadent and tasty.
For dreams are an illusion and I choose not to be hasty.
So, I am a crazy dreamer, no one was born to love me.
I was born to be as fluid as the sea, call me a *****, call me a ***.
For each stone your throw only made me grow!

I never knew tears, only pleasure.
The human touch and its burning flame which ignited fear.
I knew beauty and life, but I never knew love.
I was always happy, until I knew no one was born to love me.
Crazy dreamer, happy even no love in life, I am the crazy dreamer.

Are your proud of who I am?
Or are you rolling in your grave ashamed.
You were the pillar that held up my walls,
and answered all of my calls.

I never hurt so bad, so when did I ever lower my guard?
My dreams, my aspirations, my goals, my life revolved around you.
Always with a smile, I was a fool that never grew,
because you were the pillar who took all life threw.  

How much abuse did you endure? It must have been stressful, I'm sure.
I'm sorry my lover, I could have done more, if only I knew.
Not a day goes by that I'd rather be asleep than awake, so that I won’t have to relive all my mistakes.

Eventually your walls toppled over, so did my heart.
With the blink of the eye, your ardent flame came to an end.
I’m sorry my lover, if only I knew, I would beg god for more time.

So please tell me that you are not ashamed,
Send me a sign, that I have grown and became great!
That I am no longer the same and have changed!

Tell me my lover, for I am starting to think Ive grown but insane.
Am I everything you wished for?
Or your greatest mistake?

Forgive me lover,
For deep down I know I was the greatest mistake.