Mind’s clogged up.

And the paper thirsts
for verse and rhyme.

Nib’s asleep
and the ink’s blotchy...

I am bloated
with haphazard thoughts,
but I’m purging...

a few words at a time.

I'm running into an open field,
Flowers in my hair,
I love the way you gaze
It sets me ablaze
I'm dying to talk to you
Though I'm too shy
Why even try
Hello soon turned to goodbye.

Set the mood
Redline
Build the hill
Fill that stem
Inhale. Hold it in.
Take that breath
Relax. Just relax.

I'm  waving the smoke away
Both hands  extensions of
the atrium  that primes the pump
I'm  beating as bleating
Green veil  is parted re  -  vealed
Reveals  the one I'm afraid of  -  the
old me

I'm  counting days defeated
Dead days  used my blood took
the look that I sculpted and weaponized  - it
as something other

Set the mood
Lazerhawk
Build the hill
Fill that stem
Inhale. Hold it in.
Take that breath
Relax. Relax. Relax.

How am I  a slave to myself  I wonder
I wonder

How am I  a slave?

How am I  a slave to myself  I wonder
I wonder

I  ride the ghost train
I  deify  the old ghosts  -  I
I  never meant to board forever  -  I
Am shadow. Am product. The Ubik.
I  deify  the past as answer  -

nothing left to say
nothing left to say

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Crushed flowers are beautiful,
dried, pressed
not useful but certainly nice to look at
My sister affectionately called me a 'delicate little flower' one of the many times you made me break down, crushed from false accusation
until i eventually dried up
pressed myself until the pain no longer hurt.
I wondered why i had become such a fragile thing
shouldn't heartbreak build you up, a learning experience rather than reducing you to a few petals and a stem.
i feel more like a tree
green and great during the warm summer months
unaware of the freezing winter winds that will blow away all my protective leaves. barren. cold.
i hope someday i will become evergreen
beautiful, tall, luscious and full- pine or cedar or spruce
staying fragrant all year round

but for now i remain a daisy
nothing special
dried, pressed and crushed between these pages, within these words.

i was underwater.
swimming with the fishes
with the stories
of names i’ll never
quite be able to place
and then you dove in with me
just as i was wading to the edge.
you swam around the room
a rainbow trout
amidst schools of minnows
i love them all
but you’re just such a pretty color.

i let my feet dangle in the water
as you kept diving deeper
you’d look at me
from across the sea
send a wave toward my shore
i feel it crashing into me even now.

standing beside me
both of us swimming in
different depths
you looked right into my eyes.
i knew if i just held you there
for a little longer.
just a little.
i felt like the moon
dragging you toward me

i swear to god you almost kissed me.
i swear to god i would have let you.